topic Re: How do you get over an ex-husband?? in Community Chat

How do you get over an ex-husband??

qvc chick — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:30:28 GMT

Need advise. I was married for 27 years, have two grown children. Five years ago, we got a divorce (mutual). He kept the house, and I bought a townhome about 5 blocks away, to stay in the same school district. We remained (somewhat) friends, and would still go for dinner, shopping, etc. He doesn't have any close friends, and usually stayed home alot.

Well now he has a girlfriend, that seems to be at my old house alot. This bothers me, and I'm not sure why. And then on valentines day, apparently he bought her balloons and a gift, which I never received in all the years we were married.

But he still calls me during the week (almost every day) and we still might go shopping or out to dinner. On weekends I never hear from him, because she is with him.

Not sure why I am having a really hard time with this. I knew he had a girlfriend. But as soon as I saw that she was at my old house...cooking in my old kitchen....I can't get passed this. I am very sad. I don't want him back. He cheated on my three times in our marriage, and is hot-headed. So not sure why I am feeling like this.

I guess its the old saying....you don't want him...but when someone else wants him, he starts to look good again.

Any suggestions?

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

JustJazzmom — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:34:13 GMT

Keep saying to yourself-- he cheated on me three times during our marriage-- that will get you through this.

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

terrier3 — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:34:37 GMT

Get your own boyfriend and stop communicating with ex (except about the kids).

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

rhinovodka — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:35:52 GMT

Hi, I am sorry you are having a hard time. Try to stay busy, find a hobby, take a trip, meet new friends and most of all it is not you, it is him and keep telling yourself, you love your life as it is, without him.

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

Lipstickdiva — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:37:17 GMT

You need to keep reminding yourself why he's your EX-husband and you aren't still married to him.

I also think you need to stop all communication with him unless it involves the children. If I was his current girlfriend and found out he still had all this unnecessary contact with his ex-wife, I wouldn't be his girlfriend any longer.

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

Preds — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:37:23 GMT

Stop ""dating"" him. Work on dating someone else to keep you company. He has moved on (again) and so should you.

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

ROMARY — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:39:55 GMT

How do you get over an ex-husband?: . . Just step right over him, and keep on walking..............

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

croemer — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:40:56 GMT

On 2/18/2015 LipstickDiva said:
You need to keep reminding yourself why he's your EX-husband and you aren't still married to him.

I also think you need to stop all communication with him unless it involves the children. If I was his current girlfriend and found out he still had all this unnecessary contact with his ex-wife, I wouldn't be his girlfriend any longer.

This...he is an ex for a reason.

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

adelle38 — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:41:29 GMT

On 2/18/2015 Preds said:
Stop "dating" him. Work on dating someone else to keep you company. He has moved on (again) and so should you.

I agree. Stay cordial so you can communicate about the children but leave him out of your social life. Remember, if he's not cheating on this girlfriend now, he will.

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

brii — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:41:32 GMT

You need to move on from him. Why does he call you? If I was girlfriend, that would upset me - unless the call was related to your children.

Just keep reminding yourself why you divorced him.

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

Puzzle Piece — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:42:26 GMT

On 2/18/2015 ROMARY 1 said:
How do you get over an ex-husband?: . . Just step right over him, and keep on walking..............

Good take.

Seems like the guy wants a haram or to corral the gals and pick and choose which one he wants for the day/night.

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

terrier3 — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:42:45 GMT

On 2/18/2015 brii said:
You need to move on from him. Why does he call you? If I was girlfriend, that would upset me - unless the call was related to your children.

Just keep reminding yourself why you divorced him.

Sounds like he STILL likes the companionship of two (or more) women at a time.

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

deepwaterdotter — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:44:59 GMT

Is there any reason that you have not sought the companionship of a new gentleman?

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

brii — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:46:48 GMT

It's not your house anymore. I'm not going to lie - it would bother me to have somebody else there.

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

qvc chick — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:47:23 GMT

I don't know why he still calls me. Guess after all the years together, we still have alot in common.

I would like to meet someone, but don't know where to start.

Guess what is bothering me...is that he has someone, and I don't. If I was in a relationship, I am sure I would not feel this bad.

I go out...travel, have lots of friends, but still don't seem to meet anyone!

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

SydneyH — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:49:01 GMT

He shouldn't be calling you and you shouldn't be taking his calls either or dining together.

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

Preds — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:51:36 GMT

You haven't met anyone because you haven't let go yet. Once you stop looking to him for companionship, you can see possibilities in others.

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

hckynut — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:51:55 GMT

Can only speak from a male perspective! Since I am still with my wife, can only tell you what I have seen from my divorced male friends and relatives. Most of them waited little time after the finalization of their divorce and finding new/different female companions. Maybe this could also work for the female side also?

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

Lipstickdiva — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:53:21 GMT

Did he tell you that he bought his new girlfriend balloons and flowers? If he told you, that seems a little juvenile on his part to tell you something like that.

Are you driving past the house that you saw her cooking in your kitchen?

Re: How do you get over an ex-husband??

Justina rae — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:55:14 GMT

On 2/18/2015 qvc chick said:
I don't know why he still calls me. Guess after all the years together, we still have alot in common.

I would like to meet someone, but don't know where to start.

Guess what is bothering me...is that he has someone, and I don't. If I was in a relationship, I am sure I would not feel this bad.

I go out...travel, have lots of friends, but still don't seem to meet anyone!

This is definitely true. You have been left out in the cold so to speak. Your ex has you for comfort and a girlfriend for excitement. In a way you are being used but you are allowing yourself to be used and it is this that needs to stop in order for you to move on. It's not an easy thing to do after 27 years but it is important for your own well being to let go.