topic Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait in Community Chat

Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

beanie — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:22:29 GMT

I work with someone who says she is a "highly sensitive person". She told us there is a book that documents this trait. I have a NOOK and over the weekend I downloaded this 257 page book and read it....in an effort to understand and work alongside this person. My question now is: Do any of you declare this trait for yourself? It is not only being a sensitive person..because extroverts can be sensitive as well. It's also not about only being introverted. I learned a boat load of information regarding this and am very curious. TIA for your responses. beanie

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

qualitygal — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:24:16 GMT

beanie,

what are some of the finer definitions of this? Maybe then we'll know. Thanks.

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

raven-blackbird — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:24:34 GMT

I am blunt and to the point............I work with an overly sensitive person and quite frankly, she drives me nuts..................................raven

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

MickD — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:27:03 GMT

We're all sensitive as we are human. Some just express it differently than others....but using it as a crutch is a cop out.

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

JuJu Squeezie — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:42:41 GMT

Lots of people are, I am and know others who are but we never declared it or asked others to adapt themselves to us. In the healthcare field I'd imagine there are a great many and I'm thankful some people care about the details more than others.

The people who are the "all about me" type, blunt and/or unable to work well with others because everything has to be their way are a drag to spend a shift with in my opinion.

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

beanie — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:42:53 GMT

On 2/17/2015 MickD said: We're all sensitive as we are human. Some just express it differently than others....but using it as a crutch is a cop out.

I think I have to agree....the book make note of ALL the ways we could help the highly sensitive person to make her/his life better...BUT I didn't read anything that was "give and take"...like how they could work alongside others. It was all about how we should understand this trait/person.

Highly sensitive people are frequently over aroused. When this happens (light, noise, chitchat, etc) the HSP will become overwhelmed, frazzled and need to be alone.

They need to be caution and proceed slowly with thoughts and actions. Retreating, often to cry, is typical of HSP's.

They have a sense of being flawed. They feel different and sometimes crazy. As a child they felt defective.

Loud music and crowds can be stressful. They need solitude at the end of day because often by then they feel jangled and overaroused.

They are unable to tolerate as much as other people.

They have great creativity, insight, passion and caring.

People see them as shy, weak and unsociable.

To correct a situation the rest or "shut down"

They are polite, kind and considerate except when overcome with too much emotion or stimulation.

They are highly consicientious, loyal and thoughtful.

They do not perform well when being observed.

As you can see....I read the book and took notes.

beanie

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

MickD — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:44:53 GMT

Sounds like also on the autism spectrum....very interesting beanie.....

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

kittymomNC — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:45:14 GMT

I think being sensitive, or highly sensitive, could be the result of our upbringing, specific things that have happened to us, specific ways we've been treated by others, or just the way our brains are wired.

Who is to say why what rolls off one person's back, feels devastating to someone else? Who is to say why what bothers us a great deal one day, may not bother us that much on a different day? None of us know what goes on in another person's head, so I don't think it can be judged by a blanket statement of "it's a crutch and/or a cop-out". People feel the way they feel, and sometimes that can no more be controlled according to the way "society" would prefer it than we can control the weather.

I don't judge anyone about how they think or feel, or whether they're too sensitive, because I haven't walked in their shoes. And I don't expect anyone to judge me when they haven't walked in mine.

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

beanie — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:48:14 GMT

I do want to say that now that she and I have had our ""mediation"" and I have read the book....I understand her better and it will be a better working arrangement. The root of the problem is that she had an enormous office to herself. The director of our bldg. saw a need to do some rearranging. Part of that was moving me into ""her"" office. It is now ""our"" office and that has totally threw her for a loop...no disrespect meant. She has admitted it. She finds it difficult to look at or even talk to me some days as she wishes things were the same as before (when she had the office to herself). Oh well. beanie

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

kittymomNC — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:49:16 GMT

Upon reading the "summary" of points in the book, it makes me question even more how someone could call this a cop-out or a crutch. Based on the points made in that summation, I would tend to lean more toward this being a type of emotional disorder, and anyone who is familiar with those in a personal way (self, family member, etc.), whatever they may be, would never call it either of those things. That's kind of like saying someone who suffers from clinical depression is using it as a cop-out. Just my opinion.

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

beanie — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:51:23 GMT

Before the mediation...I just thought she was moody. That was fine, until I felt so "shunned" and "invisible" to her. That brought about the mediation and things will improve now I am sure. We REALLY aired our feelings. I have to say this has caused me an enormous amount of anxiety as well..and sometimes very difficult to come to work.

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

MickD — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:51:34 GMT

It's like in many workplaces employees take the personality tests so they know how to work with each other. So good for your proactivenes beanie.

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

LilacTree — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:51:41 GMT

You didn't mention a couple of things. Highly sensitive people are usually extremely bright, artistic, overly regimented, and sometimes wind up with eating disorders or other obsessions. They are both the best and the worst people to try to live, work, or deal with in any situation. Most of them live very frustrated lives because nothing is perfect and perfection is their only goal . . . in themselves as well as others.

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

MickD — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:54:17 GMT

Being overly sensitive or the opposite can definitely allow a person to manipulate without even knowing it.....these people can be polarizing and disruptive in the workplace if behaviors are not nipped in the bud.

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

Cakers1 — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:54:26 GMT

Some people prefer to remain sensitive; even when one tries to coax them out of that feeling they will come up with a myriad of excuses as to why they feel slighted by a certain situation, comment, etc.

Or they will accuse one of trying to denigrate how they feel.

I think most people try to help a sensitive person "lighten up" so to speak - not because they are picking at how they feel but are just trying to be nice and empathetic.

SOME sensitive people look upon everyone else as not understanding them and shy away from social interaction.

It all depends upon the person and why their sensitivity level is where it's at - jmoymmv.

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

beanie — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:56:38 GMT

Just as I will respect her needs, the HSP should respect others needs as well. I didn't ask to be placed in this office and I am a respectful, quiet person as well. I get it. I don't think it's a cop out or a crutch...really....just respect should and needs to be a two way street.

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

foundinlv — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:57:33 GMT

On 2/17/2015 beanie said:
Before the mediation...I just thought she was moody. That was fine, until I felt so "shunned" and "invisible" to her. That brought about the mediation and things will improve now I am sure. We REALLY aired our feelings. I have to say this has caused me an enormous amount of anxiety as well..and sometimes very difficult to come to work.

Who told this woman that she was "a highly sensitive person?" I would think she would have to be diagnosed by a physician in that field before it could be used as a excuse for her bad behavior.

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

MickD — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:58:41 GMT

Beanie - exactly.

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

beanie — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:59:12 GMT

On 2/17/2015 Ford1224 said:
You didn't mention a couple of things. Highly sensitive people are usually extremely bright, artistic, overly regimented, and sometimes wind up with eating disorders or other obsessions. They are both the best and the worst people to try to live, work, or deal with in any situation. Most of them live very frustrated lives because nothing is perfect and perfection is their only goal . . . in themselves as well as others.

YES...

Re: Highly sensitive person...this is a real personality trait

RainCityGirl — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 21:00:24 GMT

As a teacher, I miss the days when you worked with people, both kids and adults, and didn't have to adjust your own behavior and class expectations in order to accommodate all the idiosyncrasies in others. In a classroom, it becomes an educational nightmare when there are 30 different kids getting a state provided education and you have to make varied exceptions for at least 10 of them.