topic Re: Losing A Child in Community Chat

Losing A Child

lucieinthesky — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 02:44:54 GMT

It's been almost 15 years since I lost my 26 year old son to cancer and some days it is still like it was yesterday. I guess today is one of those days and I feel compelled to talk about it. Little things trigger memories - a song he liked, a news person on tv that looks like him. I wonder what his life would have been like today. He was only 20 when diagnosed with a brain tumor and lived 6 yrs. with so many ups and downs - the surgeries and treatments that were as debilitating as the cancer itself. So, he never had children - thus, I have no grandchildren. I know there are others of you out there who have also lost children - I sometimes wonder what the odds are of parents outliving their children. I do know this for certain -- life is never the same and the sadness is always there -- just not at the surface as I feel it today.

Re: Losing A Child

Big Sister — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 02:58:12 GMT

mrniceguy, I'm glad you made the effort to reach out today and talk about your son. No matter how many years go by, it's so important to say and to hear his name. I know that with time the raw edges become less sharp. We never forget but we do adjust to the absence. It's so important for us to talk about our loved one who is now gone.

Do you feel like talking about him, what was he like, what did he love to do? I would like to know him better through you.

Re: Losing A Child

Lucylu12 — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 02:59:37 GMT

I know exactly how you feel all to well. It's been almost 23 years since we lost out 19 year old daughter. She would of been 42 Feb 12th. She was our only child, so like you we have no grandchildren. Hers was a sudden, unexpected death that has changed our lives forever. Many things trigger memories but at least now, most bring a smile through tears. Life goes on but something is always missing, isn't it.

Re: Losing A Child

lucieinthesky — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 03:25:25 GMT

On 2/15/2015 bigsister said:
mrniceguy, I'm glad you made the effort to reach out today and talk about your son. No matter how many years go by, it's so important to say and to hear his name. I know that with time the raw edges become less sharp. We never forget but we do adjust to the absence. It's so important for us to talk about our loved one who is now gone.

Do you feel like talking about him, what was he like, what did he love to do? I would like to know him better through you.

His name is Brian. He was a fun loving, smiling, always a funny story to tell you kind of guy. Very handsome and outgoing during his school years - linebacker on the football team. He loved being outdoors fishing and camping, hanging out with his buddies and had never been sick a day in his life before the cancer struck. He joined the Air Force as soon as he got out of high school and was in Officer flight training when he began to get sick. He had planned to make a career in the Air Force. During his illness, he was always the one lifting everyone up. Over the period of 6 years, he had 4 brain surgeries and of course, the usual chemo and radiation treatments. He just never let it get him down. He did not want us to worry and stayed very upbeat. He was just your all around great guy and I miss him more than I can even express.

Re: Losing A Child

violann — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 03:29:56 GMT

I am sincerely sorry for your loss.

Re: Losing A Child

Mom2Dogs — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 03:59:36 GMT

So very sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine your pain.

Re: Losing A Child

ROMARY — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 04:13:26 GMT

Sending you comforting hugs. You are never alone here.

Re: Losing A Child

homedecor1 — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 04:43:36 GMT

Mrniceguy - my thoughts & prayers are with you as I know how devastating this disease is. Everyday I thank god my son (27) survived through surgeries, chemo & radiation during his 2-year battle against cancer. He is now in re-mission. I pray everyday for him & for those who have lost loved ones to this horrible disease. May you find comfort in knowing others care.

Re: Losing A Child

Jessa9 — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 05:07:49 GMT

I am so sorry for your loss mrniceguy..prayers go out to you.

Re: Losing A Child

AnikaBrodie — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 05:23:13 GMT

(((((Hugs))))) to mrniceguy and moon dance. I am so sorry for your loss.

Re: Losing A Child

Big Sister — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 09:54:48 GMT

On 2/15/2015 mrniceguy said:
On 2/15/2015 bigsister said:
mrniceguy, I'm glad you made the effort to reach out today and talk about your son. No matter how many years go by, it's so important to say and to hear his name. I know that with time the raw edges become less sharp. We never forget but we do adjust to the absence. It's so important for us to talk about our loved one who is now gone.

Do you feel like talking about him, what was he like, what did he love to do? I would like to know him better through you.

His name is Brian. He was a fun loving, smiling, always a funny story to tell you kind of guy. Very handsome and outgoing during his school years - linebacker on the football team. He loved being outdoors fishing and camping, hanging out with his buddies and had never been sick a day in his life before the cancer struck. He joined the Air Force as soon as he got out of high school and was in Officer flight training when he began to get sick. He had planned to make a career in the Air Force. During his illness, he was always the one lifting everyone up. Over the period of 6 years, he had 4 brain surgeries and of course, the usual chemo and radiation treatments. He just never let it get him down. He did not want us to worry and stayed very upbeat. He was just your all around great guy and I miss him more than I can even express.

mrniceguy, Thank you for telling me (us) more about Brian. ( I always knew that if I ever had a child, a son, I would name him Brian). He sounds like a very likeable man with many interests who loved to laugh and make others laugh. I hope you know that one of the main reasons he turned out to be a fine man was because of you, his father, his role model.

Re: Losing A Child

Juniper2 — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 10:00:17 GMT

Lost my beautiful 28 year old daughter six years ago from a failed liver transplant after suffering from Crohn's disease for 9 years. Like your son, she suffered alot. Her birthday is on Feb. 20th so I am feeling exactly what you are. I am so very sorry for your loss and I can't say anything that could help you because I can't even help myself. I wish you strength and peace.

Re: Losing A Child

Bestdressed — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 10:26:06 GMT

I am sorry about the loss of your son mrniceguy. I am glad you were able post about it today and tell us about him. I also am sorry to Moon dance and Juniper for the loss of your daughters. I cannot imagine going through such an intense loss. Just know that we care and please feel free to talk to about it. I think sometimes it helps to acknowledge what you are feeling inside. Hugs to all of you...I am truly sorry.

Re: Losing A Child

marky — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 20:29:08 GMT

So sorry for your loss. I lost my step-son almost 4 years ago so I can relate to your pain. My husband still cannot talk about him. Very seldom will he let me say anything--it is just too painful for him. Yes, some days are much worse than others. It is always lurking in the back of our minds. Thank you for sharing about Brian with us. He sounds like a wonderful person.

Re: Losing A Child

Mama Mia — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 20:36:25 GMT

I am so very sorry for all of you who have lost a child. I know how your heart stays broken, and the memories are always there. My son died suddenly August 26th, 2014. I will never get over it. I know he is in Heaven and that God wanted him home, but still it is so very hard.

May all of you find strength and be glad of the time you did have with your child. God bless!

Re: Losing A Child

marky — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 21:00:06 GMT

On 2/16/2015 Mama Mia said:
I am so very sorry for all of you who have lost a child. I know how your heart stays broken, and the memories are always there. My son died suddenly August 26th, 2014. I will never get over it. I know he is in Heaven and that God wanted him home, but still it is so very hard.

May all of you find strength and be glad of the time you did have with your child. God bless!

mm

Mama Mia, so sorry for your loss also. I am sure the pain is still so raw for you now. My thoughts and prayers are with you and with all of the others that know this pain.

Re: Losing A Child

WaJa61 — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 21:17:59 GMT

My deepest condolences to mrniceguy and all here who have lost a child. There is no deeper pain in all the world. My mother lost my brother before I was born. I believe with my whole soul, they are together now, with our dad, too.

Prayers offered for your strength and comfort.

Re: Losing A Child

lulu2 — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 22:54:29 GMT

mrniceguy, I am so sorry for the loss your son. I know what you mean that sometimes it seems a lifetime ago but sometimes it feels like yesterday. Your son had a difficult journey and I know how difficult it was for you to see him suffer. Although we welcome peace for our loved ones, it does make us miss them any less.

We lost a daughter and granddaughter. I know there was nothing else they could do medically but there are still times I ask why God chose to take such sweet, innocents.

I do believe we will someday see our loved ones again. At times it the only thing that got me over the hurdles.

Re: Losing A Child

lulu2 — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 22:56:38 GMT

On 2/16/2015 Mama Mia said:
I am so very sorry for all of you who have lost a child. I know how your heart stays broken, and the memories are always there. My son died suddenly August 26th, 2014. I will never get over it. I know he is in Heaven and that God wanted him home, but still it is so very hard.

May all of you find strength and be glad of the time you did have with your child. God bless!

mm

Mama Mia, each time I read about the sudden loss of your son, my heart breaks for you.

I admire your strength. (and wisdom)

Re: Losing A Child

lucieinthesky — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 23:22:59 GMT

I thank each one of you for your kindness and compassion. I also wish to express my sympathy to those of you who shared that you, too, have lost a child. It is a club that no one wants to belong to. I know that I will see my Brian again, someday and what a glad reunion that will be -- its just that sometimes the waiting becomes hard to bear.

Thank you, bigsister, for the sweet compliment.