topic Re: Coddling today's children in Community Chat

Coddling today's children

Cookie06 — Wed, 31 Dec 2014 21:04:22 GMT

Ok I admit it, I was watching one of the housewife shows and was so sad for the daughter of Kyle going off to college. The girl is at least 18 years old and Kyle said, I better teach you how to do laundry before you go? WHAT????? Is that just because they are loaded, or don't parents teach their children just basic living skills anymore?? I taught my kids to do laundry, how to cook, clean house, including cleaning the toilets, for both my boys and my daughter. My daughter in law thanks me for teaching my son basic skills so he can do his share of the dirty work that alot of women of my generation have been stuck doing. What are your views on this? And do or did you teach your children basic skills?

Re: Coddling today's children

sfnative — Wed, 31 Dec 2014 21:19:25 GMT

When my daughter was 7, I taught her how to separate her clothes and doing her wash in different temps. From that time forward, she did her own wash, with help when it was needed. I assisted with the dryer. At the age of 10 I started to teach her how to iron. (To this day she loathes ironing and you should see her pile of clean clothes that need to need ironed. LOL!)

Additionally, I taught her all of the housekeeping basics and also how to take care of houseplants: watering, feeding and re-potting. She ended up having a green thumb.

Several weeks before high school graduation, I was standing on a corner across from the school speaking with some mothers: we had known each other since our daughters were in kindergarten. Someone brought up the fact that she was really worried because she didn't know how her daughter was going to wash, dry and care for her clothing in college. Everyone agreed but me. They asked me why I wasn't concerned, so I basically explained what I said above. They actually asked my why I had bothered to teach her those skills. Can you believe it!

Yes, all of our husbands were making 6 figures, so the girls were privileged and many had daily housekeepers. Seems, however, that there is no accounting for lack of common sense 6 figures or not!

Re: Coddling today's children

Still Raining — Wed, 31 Dec 2014 21:30:42 GMT

Nope, there were always those who didn't teach their kids how to take care of themselves. In the 90s one of my DD's college roommates had a mother who drove more than an hour each way on the weekends to deliver clean, ironed clothes and pick up the dirties. One of the most horrifying things I have ever heard of.

Re: Coddling today's children

Marienkaefer2 — Wed, 31 Dec 2014 21:53:53 GMT

Then there are the kids I know: the ones basically running the household and taking care of younger sibs while one or both parents work multiple jobs.

Re: Coddling today's children

ROMARY — Thu, 01 Jan 2015 01:51:26 GMT

Mom driving seventeen year old son (within short walking distance; non-violent area, so far)..........Embarrassing, if you ask me.......(lol)

Re: Coddling today's children

kingtut — Thu, 01 Jan 2015 03:34:16 GMT

Unfortunately for me my mother preferred to do it all herself -- no we didn't have money -- but I remember her telling my cousin who lived to cook that it was so much easier to do it herself than be bothered teaching me. I Never learned to cook -- I did know how to wash cloths and a little ironing but was Never allowed to use the washing maching -- only mom could do that. Mind you this was until she died when I was in my fifties -- whenever she was in the hospital I had to go to the laundromat. Funny now but true.

Of course we never had a dryer so everything went outside on the line. And I couldn't leave home without a wedding ring -- and no sucker wanted me so i stayed home where I belonged.

Unfortunately in our day , most of the girls did stay home until marriage at their parents request not theirs.

Re: Coddling today's children

colliemom4 — Thu, 01 Jan 2015 04:20:23 GMT

I had three kids and they all did their own laundry from jr. high on up. I watched that same show and thought it was ridiculous as well but I'm betting their maid or someone probably does the laundry.

Re: Coddling today's children

Big Sister — Thu, 01 Jan 2015 04:28:30 GMT

I bet Kyle has never done her own laundry.

Re: Coddling today's children

colliemom4 — Thu, 01 Jan 2015 04:36:11 GMT

On 12/31/2014 bigsister said:
I bet Kyle has never done her own laundry.

I wouldn't doubt it. Did anyone see the show last year when her daughter graduated and she gave her a huge huge diamond ring? I realize they are wealthy but I thought it was ridiculous.

Re: Coddling today's children

Zoologist_1 — Thu, 01 Jan 2015 18:35:47 GMT

Back in the 1940s, my mom's 2 older brothers both married women who had never cooked, cleaned, done laundry, etc. She was 8 y/o when they hired her to come clean their houses b/c their wives wouldn't.

Mom taught us GIRLS (not my brother, of course) how to clean, cook, etc. by age 8, and we did it all til we moved out and still do our own.

I taught my 2 older sons how to do all of that, starting with doing their own laundry at age 6. My youngest just turned 16, and I told him last night it's time for him to learn more than "light" cleaning now....so today, when he wakes up - voila! The cleaning lessons begin! I've been mostly retired and a SAHM since this son was in kindergarten, so I've just done everything. But now, working again, I'm motivated to bring him up to speed fast!

Re: Coddling today's children

RedTop — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 22:03:01 GMT

My brothers and I grew up helping our grandparents on a huge farm. Name any farm chore, and we either did it, or we were there watching and could tell you how it's done. There was a time when I could have told you in specific detail all the grease points on a 1954 Farmall Super C tractor, and used the grease gun to actually do it as well. While my girls didn't have the farm experience, they were taught many valuable things during time spent with older relatives. They learned to string beans, shell peas, shuck corn, hull walnuts, dig potatoes, and stack wood, as well as how to work the draft, and fuel a woodstove. They were responsible for feeding and watering our outside dogs, walking the dogs, and sweeping, or shoveling our sidewalk. My girls quickly learned all about laundry, as with our iron well water, all the whites and light colored clothing had to be taken to the laundrymat. When my daughters were in high school, they expressed their desire to hunt in the same woods around our house, as their ancestors, and they were taught this skill by their dad, and uncles. I could not imagine raising clueless and unprepared children.

Re: Coddling today's children

Hooty — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 22:25:12 GMT

Well, we were definitely not rich, but my mother was very domineering and when I finally moved away from home and I had to learn how to wash clothes ........... my mother would not let me nor my sister go near "her" washing machine! I also taught myself how to cook, she wouldn't let me in the kitchen, because she said I would make a mess!

Re: Coddling today's children

AstridDrey — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 22:51:41 GMT

I agree that sometimes it is not "coddling" children but more of a control issue with the parent. My mother did not want any of us messing up her kitchen, and there is no way she would let me use the washing machine, or the iron! She did give me a quick clothes washing lesson before I went to college. I never really learned to iron properly. My sister is the same way with her kids. She does it all. If her kids load the dishwasher, she takes the dishes out and re-loads it her way. So of course, they don't load it very often.

Re: Coddling today's children

lulu2 — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 22:54:57 GMT

I was not coddled but my first experience with a washer and dryer was in college. You needed quarters and a(n included measuring) cup of soap. I knew nothing about sorting colors until it was too late.

I learned to cook in home ec.

Re: Coddling today's children

Marienkaefer2 — Sat, 03 Jan 2015 04:05:43 GMT

On 1/2/2015 valeriecherish said:
I agree that sometimes it is not "coddling" children but more of a control issue with the parent. My mother did not want any of us messing up her kitchen, and there is no way she would let me use the washing machine, or the iron! She did give me a quick clothes washing lesson before I went to college. I never really learned to iron properly. My sister is the same way with her kids. She does it all. If her kids load the dishwasher, she takes the dishes out and re-loads it her way. So of course, they don't load it very often.

This was kind of the situation in my house. I did have chores..specifically ironing, making my bed, keeping my room clean. Setting the table, drying the dishes. My mom never really "taught" me to cook or do laundry. But somehow I was fine when I was out on my own. I knew about going to the laundromat, separating the whites from the colors, etc. I guess I watched my mom enough in the kitchen that I knew how to do simple things. Then I got myself a cookbook and went to town! I remember making chicken picatta and turkey tettrazini!

Re: Coddling today's children

tishkins — Sun, 04 Jan 2015 19:56:42 GMT

The next generation is in for a rude awakening. They are only interested in what's new in electronics. When I was young my mother made sure my sister and I knew how to take care of ourselves and a home. I can remember hanging the clothes out the window on the line. We had to take them out of the washer and put on the line in size order. Smaller items first and so on and where the sheets dipped a little hung small items. Every Friday we alternated , one week I cleaned the bathroom,next my sister. We didn't have a dishwasher, and coming from an Italian family there were plenty of dishes after dinner(don't even mention the pots). And , the holidays OMG stuff stuff stuff. We had to learn how to set a table,iron(first father's handkerchiefs,then cloth napkins my mother had a collection before we started to use paper napkins,plillow cases and eventually we progressed to our fathers shirts. I have 3 children and taught them all the basics(2girls 1 boy). I could go on for ever but not enough space. I think it very important for parents to teach their children certain things in life especially manners.

Re: Coddling today's children

capecdcat1 — Sun, 04 Jan 2015 20:23:04 GMT

When my son was born 15 1/2 years ago,I told my husband and still tell him to this day "we will not raise a USELESS male!""Our son vacuums,does his own laundry and makes his bed every day.He also stacks wood,helps with yard work and is currently assisting in building our new shed.Nothing worse than a man who cannot do a bit of everything and shame on parents that do not teach their kids.They are doing them a great disservice!

Re: Coddling today's children

chickenbutt — Sun, 04 Jan 2015 20:37:51 GMT

On 1/4/2015 capecdcat1 said: When my son was born 15 1/2 years ago,I told my husband and still tell him to this day "we will not raise a USELESS male!""Our son vacuums,does his own laundry and makes his bed every day.He also stacks wood,helps with yard work and is currently assisting in building our new shed.Nothing worse than a man who cannot do a bit of everything and shame on parents that do not teach their kids.They are doing them a great disservice!

Good for you! I've known a few of those 'useless males' and not only does that kind of upbringing make them useless, it turns them into people who use others and have a very one-way viewpoint over all.

Raising them to know how to do things for themselves and valuing the ability to do for themselves makes them much better all-around people in relationships with others.