topic Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out in Community Chat

People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

Black Cat Back — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:15:35 GMT

Maybe I'm just set in my ways, but I don't like spur of the moment invitations. I like to make plans and know ahead of time what my day is going to be like. I am flexible if someone I know real well wants to do something at the last minute, because I can be myself with them and don't have to dress up or do my make-up, etc.

But, today, someone I don't know very well called and said she was in town and wanted to get together. This was at 11am. Sunday is my day to lounge around, no make-up, hair in ponytail, football, reading... just a low pressure day. I was out for a walk when she called and she left me at least 6 messages in that 90 min span. She wanted me to meet her kids.

Is it just me, or do others not like spur of the moment invitations that put you on the spot sometimes? I appreciate the invite, don't get me wrong, but if someone knew they were coming to town today, maybe they could have called me yesterday to make plans instead of last minute. I declined and said I was busy. I don't like to rush around and change my whole day just to be nice.

I think I've earned the right to say no at 53.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

anon — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:18:23 GMT

No it's not just you. I have to gear myself up to go out so I prefer to know in advance at least a few days.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

NoelSeven — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:18:53 GMT

By all means, say no, and don't worry about it. It's not a big deal to say you can't make it or you have other plans.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

Goldengate8361 — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:26:44 GMT

It's always ok to say no.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

Black Cat Back — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:27:06 GMT

Good to know I wasn't being too selfish. But, it's just common courtesy to tell someone you'll be in town or want to get together in advance. Plus, this particular woman rarely answers my e-mails if I write her. Yet, all of a sudden she's in town to visit family and I should be at the ready to go out when she calls. I just couldn't believe she kept calling my home and leaving me messages. She left 6 messages, two with voice mails, the other 4 she just called and hung up I guess.

Like you, I like to know my plans and plan my week or a few days accordingly.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

Catitude — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:30:27 GMT

Sometimes it's good to be flexible and spontaneous. You could be missing out on a lot of fun.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

anon — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:31:04 GMT

She is the selfish one imo.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

bikerbabe — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:33:20 GMT

I do things on the spur of the moment all the time with my BFF or DH. Some of my best memories.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

Black Cat Back — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:37:49 GMT

I appreciate the invitation, but I don't know this woman all that well. It's one thing if it's your BFF or DH, but when it's someone you only met once and e-mail a few times, it's not like someone you know extremely well and can rearrange your plans for. I also might be missing out on the needed rest and relaxation I need before facing a new week of stress.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

chrystaltree — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:39:52 GMT

Excluding my sister, I can't recall ever receiving a last minute invitation like that. People just don't do things like that, people with good manners anyway. It would not have bothered me at all; I would've told the truth and politely declined. I would have said something like.... .I'm sorry, I can't meet you today on such short notice. Perhaps we can make plans to do something together another time.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

stevieb — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:40:53 GMT

I don't like it either and think we all have the right to say no... On the other hand, depending on what time she wanted to go out after calling at 11, not sure it's really 'spur of the moment'. Either way, I would probably not like it and would most likely find a reason not to go.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

Blahblahvampemer — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:42:16 GMT

When I was working near downtown Atlanta, a friend called to invite me meet them at a movie theater less than 2 minutes after I walked in the door? Not only had I just driven 32 miles, but I had passed by the very place they were talking about. If he'd stopped by my work or called, fine. Driving another 30 miles, not so much. I, too, really do love those days when I stay home.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

Black Cat Back — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:47:57 GMT

On 12/28/2014 chrystaltree said: Excluding my sister, I can't recall ever receiving a last minute invitation like that. People just don't do things like that, people with good manners anyway. It would not have bothered me at all; I would've told the truth and politely declined. I would have said something like.... .I'm sorry, I can't meet you today on such short notice. Perhaps we can make plans to do something together another time.

chrystaltree,

I like your suggestion on what to say. That is polite and makes a lot of sense.

Thanks for the comments.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

kdgn — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:51:13 GMT

That's the beauty of answering machines. You can listen to the message and then completely ignore it!

Yes, I've had someone I've known for years come into town, call me from a store and leave a message that she'll be in that store for about an hour. She wanted me to drop everything and drive the 5 miles, immediately. I didn't do it......

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

Black Cat Back — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:55:32 GMT

I think what troubled me most were the 6 calls to my voice mail. I mean, in 90 min? Obviously, I wasn't there to respond or reply. To keep calling was obnoxious as far as I'm concerned, especially the 4 times she just called and hung up. I think people forget that there is caller ID.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

Marienkaefer2 — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 05:59:57 GMT

I like to know in advance, but it also depends on who the person is, if I can rearrange my day etc.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

Marienkaefer2 — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 06:00:50 GMT

On 12/28/2014 DARING GREATLY said:
I think what troubled me most were the 6 calls to my voice mail. I mean, in 90 min? Obviously, I wasn't there to respond or reply. To keep calling was obnoxious as far as I'm concerned, especially the 4 times she just called and hung up. I think people forget that there is caller ID.

Yes, that's a little weird.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

croemer — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 06:01:59 GMT

I have a friend who does this all the time...I am much like you...like to plan a lunch date or any other day out. I will go...just like more notice. She comes from another town and when she arrives...then she calls and says lets do lunch and I say when and she says right now.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

GCR18 — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 06:23:33 GMT

My guess is she had other plans that fell through by the number of times she called. If I already had my day planned out and was looking forward to it, I would have said no. I'm sorry I'm busy, wish you would have called yesterday. I probably would have felt a tiny bit guilty, but I'm over doing things I don't want to do to make others happy.

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

Snowpuppy — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 08:05:26 GMT

I am a spur of the moment type of person. Up for pretty much anything on a moment's notice.

That said, I got tired of last minute invites when my married friends suddenly found themselves alone because their spouse was working late or decided to golf that day. I was getting to be a convenient friend more than a friend so I no longer accept these offers.