topic Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them in Community Chat

When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

hyacinth003 — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 22:36:40 GMT

I know I am irrational!

I purchased a Keurig coffee maker for my 87 year old father for Christmas. He only drinks a couple cups a day, and I thought he would love it freshly brewed.

NOPE - and he doesn't want to pay for the K-Cups either. He is going to give it back to me.

My dad just keeps getting more frustrating for all of us. He was my hero all my life, and he's become a person I don't know sometimes.

I know it's irrational to feel hurt he doesn't want it, but I DO!

Anyone has have experience with this?

Hyacinth

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

brii — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 22:43:47 GMT

I don't feel hurt. It's disappointing, but I'd rather have the person love what I've given them and use it. It bothers me when someone won't return something when they don't like it

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

Marienkaefer2 — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 22:47:58 GMT

Yes! I tried with my grandparents to buy them things I thought they might enjoy. It never worked. I bought my grandfather a power washer because I thought it would make it easier to clean up when he did outside work. Nope. He called me and said it was too complicated. He boxed it up and returned it. I think after a certain age, it gets harder for some people to adapt to new things. They like using things they are familiar with. Don't take it too much to heart.

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

hyacinth003 — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 22:53:42 GMT

First, my sister-in-law just couldn't wait to tell me he doesn't want it. That's the way she is.

I gave it a lot of thought, and knew it was a possibility that he wouldn't want it. My husband and daughter encouraged me to get it.

Last night, I made a point of setting it up, trying it, and leaving everything in place for him to use it.

Then he starts making fun of it all and not even listening. I just don't know how to take this new and not improved version of him!

Hyacinth

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

rolen — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 22:53:47 GMT

Back in the mid nineties, I gave my parents a cordless phone. They had trouble getting around and wanted the phone next to them all the time. They had a corded phone and the cord was always stretched every which way so the phone could be located next to where they were sitting. The stretched cord caused lots of trips and accidents.

So a cordless phone seemed the perfect gift. They could have it next to them all the time without a cord. They had it for ONE day and unplugged it and gave it back to us. They said they could not figure out if they should push the talk button to answer or not or how to get a dial tone to make a call. The phones were so simple back then and we tried and tried to get them to use it. But, no way. They wanted to keep their corded phone and that was that.....

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

bikerbabe — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 22:55:13 GMT

I agree that after a certain age many people don't like to learn something new.

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

colliegirls — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 22:57:42 GMT

My mother has never liked anything I have ever given her. Eventually I stopped buying anything.

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

LyndaGee — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 22:58:32 GMT

Yup. My late maternal grandfather was like that. Every year, my Mom and her sisters would chip in and buy him a great gift, only to be told: "Take it back and get me ten lottery tickets" or "Take it back and get me a carton of cigarettes!" One of my aunts would take it personally, and sometimes a little argument would ensue. He was a character.

I know you're trying to do a nice thing, and it hurts when it's not appreciated.

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

Shorty2U — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 22:59:07 GMT

When people get older they get picky. My dad was a fun loving positive happy guy. But when he got older and couldn't do what he used to, he started to get bothered by little things. I know its a little irritating but just know hes doing the best he can and enjoy your time with him. (My dad passed away 3 yrs ago, I wish he was here so I could hear him be picky). Good luck.

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

Melania — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 22:59:25 GMT

On 12/26/2014 Marienkaefer2 said: Yes! I tried with my grandparents to buy them things I thought they might enjoy. It never worked. I bought my grandfather a power washer because I thought it would make it easier to clean up when he did outside work. Nope. He called me and said it was too complicated. He boxed it up and returned it. I think after a certain age, it gets harder for some people to adapt to new things. They like using things they are familiar with. Don't take it too much to heart.

^This.

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

adelle38 — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 23:00:56 GMT

I think many people who grew up in the depression are very thrifty and would see paying for a Keurig and K cups as an extravagance. My 90 year old mother is the same way and isn''t at all shy about telling me a gift isn't something she wants.

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

NoelSeven — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 23:01:25 GMT

Maybe he just likes his coffee the way he makes it. DH and I are like that, too. We grind our own coffee beans fresh daily and make it our way. Ours tastes much better that way to us.

I wouldn't have given it back, though, but I realize some people would, especially relatives.

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

Irshgrl31201 — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 23:02:46 GMT

Those Kcups can get expensive. Maybe that is his reasoning. I am not a coffee drinker so I am not sure of the exact price. I have bought my mom a Keurig on two different occasions and neither lasted the entire year. I bought her one last Christmas and it broke in November of this year.

All the real coffee aficionados I know do not like Keurigs at all. They say it doesn't brew it properly. I don't know if that is true of not as I don't drink it. Is that his reasoning?

I would not feel bad. Your dad is older and I have noticed that most older people don't have much of a filter.

I am sure you do want you dad to have something he really wants and not just something you want him to have so let him get what he would like. I would not take it personally at all.

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

YorkieonmyPillow — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 23:03:32 GMT

I can understand someone who is 87 year old not wanting a Keurig. I'm nowhere near that age, and to me, they seem like they would be complicated to use and maintain. I wouldn't want to have to buy all those little cups, either.

I was a little hurt when my daughter didn't like some of her gifts, but I told her I'd saved the receipts and to switch the items for something she would prefer, so she got herself things more to her liking.

No sense keeping something if you're not going to use it.

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

irishmama5 — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 23:09:48 GMT

I ask for suggestions from my family members that way they get what they need and want and Saves me a lot of time.

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

ROMARY — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 23:09:55 GMT

Sometimes folks (including me/myself) like the good old-fashioned gadgets! I'd box it up and re-gift it or return it. Some stores (QVC, etc.) will return, even after being used. p.s. It's very common that some (not all) seniors don't want new, different items. I love my electric and stove top percolators. I love scooping out the coffee, and packing the percolator basket. The aroma while doing this is wonderful...........

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

ROMARY — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 23:14:59 GMT

p.s. Don't get angry, and don't make a 'big deal' when you pick up and re-box the Keurig. Just be happy, cheerfully take it, telling your Dad that there's no use in his keeping it if he doesn't want to use it. And give him a big cheerful hug or kiss! Maybe buy him something more practical that he will use, even if it's warm gloves, his favorite socks, etc. Sometimes the smaller, less expensive gifts are the most welcomed! They are for me, and I'm not anywhere near my 80's yet.

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

JustJazzmom — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 23:16:02 GMT

My MIL God rest her soul, when we gave her a cordless phone would never use it because she thought people could 'listen in' on her conversations. She always preferred her heavy rotary dial black phone in her living room to answer the phone!!

Her son, my BIL never threw anything out--- there were 2 electric lawn mowers in their garage and one worked and the other didn't! Cribs were in the attic along with other chests of drawers!! I do not understand those who 'keep' everything. I think being a participant in the Depression made people want to hold on to things and keep fixing things themselves as they had lots of time to do things but no money to hire someone to do it.

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

kdgn — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 23:20:55 GMT

On 12/26/2014 hyacinth003 said:
First, my sister-in-law just couldn't wait to tell me he doesn't want it. That's the way she is.

I gave it a lot of thought, and knew it was a possibility that he wouldn't want it. My husband and daughter encouraged me to get it.

Last night, I made a point of setting it up, trying it, and leaving everything in place for him to use it.

Then he starts making fun of it all and not even listening. I just don't know how to take this new and not improved version of him!

Hyacinth

He's 87 and his short term memory probably isn't anywhere near what it used to be. Even though you set it up for him, remembering how to use it is a different matter. To make up for not wanting to admit the memory problems, he makes fun of it and refuses to listen.

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

ROMARY — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 23:21:43 GMT

Regarding telephones: We have a lot of 'interference' with phones, TV's, computers, etc. around here. Even a baby monitor here has picked up people walking around, kids talking, etc. in the neighborhood. There was a real life story I read/heard about (maybe a poster here) regarding a neighbor being heard in someone's doorbell box receiver. I'm thinking that the more people and gadgets in our immediate area, the less privacy. It's just a fact of modern living. Look at all of the billions of identity theft, even while walking, standing around. I'm thinking that the above poster's mom is better off with a rotary phone!