topic How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids in Community Chat

How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

MeganJulie — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 01:10:55 GMT

Looking for advice. My sister has a live-in boyfriend (for the past 3 years) who has two children (ages 8 and 12). My sister also has two kids who are similar in age. We usually give my sister's kids money or gift cards for Christmas (their wish). If I give my sister's kids $50 each for Christmas, how much should I give the boyfriend's kids (who I only see at holidays/family birthdays). We have no idea if my sister will marry this person or not as both of them have been married twice before (i.e. this would be 3rd marriage for both of them).

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

YorkieonmyPillow — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 01:19:01 GMT

I would give them the same price gift or the same money you give to your sister's children. JMHO

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

croemer — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 01:20:16 GMT

On 12/20/2014 YorkieonmyPillow said:
I would give them the same price gift or the same money you give to your sister's children. JMHO

Especially if they will be opening the gifts in front of each other.

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

brii — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 01:21:42 GMT

I would give the same.

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

RoughDraft — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 01:22:48 GMT

I absolutely would and have, given equally to all the children involved.

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

MeganJulie — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 01:37:18 GMT

Thanks for all the replies -- doesn't seem like the answers/responses would change, but the boyfriends kids will be with their mother - so they won't be opening in front of each other.

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

Say Nay — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 01:41:14 GMT

On 12/20/2014 MeganJulie said:
Thanks for all the replies -- doesn't seem like the answers/responses would change, but the boyfriends kids will be with their mother - so they won't be opening in front of each other.

I must be odd because my answer is different from everyone else's. I wouldn't give them the same amount as your sister's kids ($50 is a lot IMO). I would just get them a small gift, no cash.

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

Iwantcoffee — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 02:35:33 GMT

I see why your brother would give them a gift, but not you.

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

chessylady — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 03:02:20 GMT

If the family with the unrelated kids are poor, I would give them the same amount as other children. If not, I would give them a smaller gift. Presumably they have relatives who will give them nicer gifts.

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

Shorty2U — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 03:34:11 GMT

I would spend less on them (maybe 25 or 30?) being they are not your relatives. But then again they are children and now that I think of it I might feel bad and spend more. (lol).

PS) This reminds me of how I was cutting back this year and getting my kids/grandkids 100 dollar gift cards EACH and a few gifts EACH totaling like 165 EACH (Instead of the usual 250-260 each). I ended up going over on my limits for each because I felt bad! (lol)

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

GCR18 — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 03:42:46 GMT

I would keep it consistent with the amount you spent the last three years. If you didn't do anything, I wouldn't start.

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

september — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 03:47:28 GMT

When my kids were in that age range, a gift was a gift. They didn't compare values with what the other one got! I think as long as you get each child a gift he or she will like...that's what counts.

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

game-on — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 03:57:17 GMT

Are people exchanging gifts when you are there?

I think a family game for all of them would be nice....

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

croemer — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 04:21:14 GMT

On 12/20/2014 Shorty2U said:
I would spend less on them (maybe 25 or 30?) being they are not your relatives. But then again they are children and now that I think of it I might feel bad and spend more. (lol).

PS) This reminds me of how I was cutting back this year and getting my kids/grandkids 100 dollar gift cards EACH and a few gifts EACH totaling like 165 EACH (Instead of the usual 250-260 each). I ended up going over on my limits for each because I felt bad! (lol)

was going to cut back too...then I get the guilts and now everyone has a much as previous years. grrr...

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

LyndaGee — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 04:26:28 GMT

On 12/20/2014 Its Better To Be Naughty said:
On 12/20/2014 Shorty2U said:
I would spend less on them (maybe 25 or 30?) being they are not your relatives. But then again they are children and now that I think of it I might feel bad and spend more. (lol).

PS) This reminds me of how I was cutting back this year and getting my kids/grandkids 100 dollar gift cards EACH and a few gifts EACH totaling like 165 EACH (Instead of the usual 250-260 each). I ended up going over on my limits for each because I felt bad! (lol)

was going to cut back too...then I get the guilts and now everyone has a much as previous years. grrr...

Me, too! I'm a softie this time of year.

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

Sylanne — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 05:30:30 GMT

You stated your sister lived w/the boyfriend for 3 yrs. JMO, I would continue to do what you have done in the past re the children. Now I'm really confused---the topic of the OP states BROTHER'S girlfriend--------while the body of the thread says my SISTER who lived w/her boyfriend for 3 yrs. etc.

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

SugarNSpice — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 06:00:53 GMT

On 12/20/2014 Christmas Balls said:
On 12/20/2014 MeganJulie said:
Thanks for all the replies -- doesn't seem like the answers/responses would change, but the boyfriends kids will be with their mother - so they won't be opening in front of each other.

I must be odd because my answer is different from everyone else's. I wouldn't give them the same amount as your sister's kids ($50 is a lot IMO). I would just get them a small gift, no cash.

I'll be the odd person out with you, Gato.

A small gift is more than enough. "No Cash."

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

hennypenny — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 06:07:25 GMT

sweaters or pjs for each

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

SugarNSpice — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 06:15:33 GMT

On 12/20/2014 LyndaGee said:
On 12/20/2014 Its Better To Be Naughty said:
On 12/20/2014 Shorty2U said:
I would spend less on them (maybe 25 or 30?) being they are not your relatives. But then again they are children and now that I think of it I might feel bad and spend more. (lol).

PS) This reminds me of how I was cutting back this year and getting my kids/grandkids 100 dollar gift cards EACH and a few gifts EACH totaling like 165 EACH (Instead of the usual 250-260 each). I ended up going over on my limits for each because I felt bad! (lol)

was going to cut back too...then I get the guilts and now everyone has a much as previous years. grrr...

Me, too! I'm a softie this time of year.

I splurge on gift giving for my immediate family. We love Christmas and I do everything in my power to make it magical for my family each year. My parents always went above and beyond... I try to make them proud and keep the magic feeling of the holidays alive.

Re: How Much Should I Spend on Brother's Girlfriend's Kids

Deb1010again — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 06:24:09 GMT

I'd give the live-in boyfriend's kids a $20 gift card each. You've known your niece/nephew(s) all their lives, so I think it is absolutely appropriate to give them more ($50 gift card).

It's not like all the gifts you're giving to the kids are on behalf of "Santa". Which would mean the kids would feel they're all on equal footing. In your case, the other kids don't see you as often and know you're closer to your niece/nephew(s).