topic Re: Funerals... in Community Chat

Funerals...

Mustang Shar — Tue, 09 Dec 2014 17:42:36 GMT

I want to thank you all for posting this back in 2011. Had a death in family and I made the arrangements. I searched here and googled so I was informed.. Also to note, choosing a family owned funeral home VS corporate owned is also less expensive. But wanted to let you all know, it's worth reading these and being prepared.

Husband and I separated years ago and he died Sunday. While I am still legally his wife, I made all the arrangements. I'm not upset so it's easiest for me to do. My daughter is heart broken, so I do it with love for her and his family. Now I need to dispose of his property, home was trashed...he was a hoarder..awful.

Re: Funerals...

Bird mama — Wed, 10 Dec 2014 21:57:50 GMT

Sharon, I don't have any advice regarding the house but I did want to say that I am sorry for your daughter's loss especially.

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Anglophilly — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 00:00:00 GMT

Your daughter has a wonderful mother. The task you've taken on is such an amazing example of unconditional love. Thank you for sharing.

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ECBG — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 00:34:05 GMT

Bless your heart. I know it's hard to see your child in pain. Sending prayers your way.

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goodstuff — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 06:05:08 GMT

Bless you for doing this, and I know your daughter will appreciate your care and help. I've actually known several women who have done similar things for men they had been married to and had either divorced or separated. One of my friends and her husband divorced many years ago. My friend said they were great friends but terrible marriage partners. He remarried, but my friend and he (and their son and his new wife) remained cordial friends over the years. When he was in the last stages of cancer, my friend stayed with him and his new wife in their home and helped to take care of him till his death.

All divorces aren't bitter and destructive.

Re: Funerals...

Jessa9 — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 18:47:14 GMT

You are a good person. God Bless

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Mustang Shar — Sat, 13 Dec 2014 20:54:15 GMT

Oh....I'm overwhelmed. Thank you so very much.. You are so kind. Let me say he was a very proud Vietnam Nam Vet. He made his wishes known to his brother, that he wanted to be in a National Cemetery and we did that. It was one of the most powerful, emotional moments in my life. Taps, gun salute, Army personnel to present the flag to my daughter.... If this is someone's wishes and a National Cemetery is within driving distance, please do so. The VA pays for the plot, burial and headstone. It was so moving....... Bless you all for your kindness. Hugs!

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Lilysmom — Sun, 14 Dec 2014 00:40:23 GMT

Mustangshar, thank you for doing this. You are a good person. I have lost too many family members recently and I know it can be difficult. Your daughter will cherish you even more for what you have done. LM

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Mustang Shar — Sun, 14 Dec 2014 01:44:40 GMT

LM, thank you! Hugs

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kittyfan — Sun, 14 Dec 2014 03:08:53 GMT

Oh I so agree. My DH was USAF retired and a Viet Nam Vet. He refused to discuss his wishes with me--but I chose to bury him in a military cemetary---it was beautiful. The honor guard, the presentation of the flag. The playing of taps and the volley. Mustangchar---you stepped up for your daughter--you are a loving Mom.

Re: Funerals...

Mustang Shar — Sun, 14 Dec 2014 17:48:04 GMT

Kittyfan, I'm sorry for your loss. . Thank you for sharing your experience as well. As I drove up to the pavilion for the service, I saw the personnel there...it took my breath away and it was at that point I started to cry. It was as it should have been, they were very proud Vets. Hugs

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Bird mama — Sun, 14 Dec 2014 18:07:37 GMT

My inlaws live in AZ and when my FIL passed away a decade ago, I was new to the family. He was not buried at a military cemetery, but he was buried with honors and a gun salute. I had never been to a military type funeral before and when the serviceman played Taps and then other servicemen shot the rifles, I lost it. When the shells from the rifle shot were picked up, the serviceman walked over to me and handed them to me, still warm. I didn't know why they were given to me, I was brand new to the family. Maybe I was boo-hooing so bad, they thought I was a daughter . I remember hanging on to those shells for dear life.

Re: Funerals...

Mustang Shar — Sun, 14 Dec 2014 21:39:31 GMT

Yes Birdmama, they presented the shells to my daughter also. I should google that so I can tell her the meaning

Re: Funerals...

Havarti — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 02:09:42 GMT

What a good mother you are!

I am not sure where you live, but look into a company like 1-800-Got Junk you can Google it and try to find something like it near the area of his home. Once you have removed what you/daughter want to keep, they will come and clear out everything you want gone. They will sort it into garbage, donation, specific charities, etc. and they will deliver it to those destinations for you. I don’t know what the cost is, but you can look into it and see if it is worth the fee to have it done and removed within a day so you can get on with selling the house for your daughter. Good luck!