topic Re: Hints for gift giving in Community Chat

Hints for gift giving

Sooner — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 19:33:16 GMT

I will post my best gift giving tip and hope others will too! Sometimes we forget. . .

1. DON'T give someone "something they would never buy for themselves" unless you KNOW they want one. It took me a few painful experiences to figure this out. People often don't want what you want or think they should want.

Re: Hints for gift giving

Shorty2U — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 19:37:50 GMT

My tip is make gift suggestions via lists. We all make lists and exchange the lists with each other. We do that with my children and grandchildren every year, and everyone always loves their gifts. To add- we only buy gifts within the family. We don't buy friend gifts, the mailman the this the that gifts like Q suggests. lol. We give our hair stylist a bigger tip money wise at Christmas which is appreciated more than some gift she has no use for!

Re: Hints for gift giving

deepwaterdotter — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 19:40:28 GMT

Cash always fits.

Re: Hints for gift giving

Burnsite — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 19:55:46 GMT

I cast my thoughts to the giftee. Are there new enthusiasms? Has the person moved? Is the person scaling down or do they still like new things?

I also just randomly shop, esp. when travelling, and often see things I know family members or friends would love.

ETA: One thing I don't do is buy something for a serious collector. If they have been assembling the collection for a while, they have very precise wishes. So I don't ever just send an item vaguely related to the collection.

Re: Hints for gift giving

NoelSeven — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 20:10:21 GMT

What not to give: Things meant to be displayed in the home. Not unless you know they've always wanted it or collect them.

I've had people give me ornate pieces for the mantel that I would never want to look at every day. One was a large, ornately painted ostrich egg that was really garish, and the next year she gave me another one just like it only in different colors.

Remember, your taste may not be the same as the person you're giving to.

Re: Hints for gift giving

chickenbutt — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 20:33:22 GMT

On 11/14/2014 deepwaterdotter said:
Cash always fits.

I'll take cash any day of the week!

Anyway, these are great tips. I cannot remember how many times, usually from an in-law (hmmm), I received gifts to display that I found - let's just say, unappealing (times a million). You feel like you need to keep it close by so that if they showed up at your house you needed to put them out. It always made me feel bad. It made me feel badly that I didn't like the item that was gifted me and it made me feel badly because I was stressing that they would know I didn't like it.

I think some folks really try and mean so well. I also think you can tell if that's the case because they are genuine. Then there are those (like the mean inlaws I had back then) who did stuff just to say they did it and they would make it as uncomfortable as possible, just because they were mean people.

Re: Hints for gift giving

Puzzle Piece — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 21:11:39 GMT

Don't waste time/money on bizzare or wild gifts that you believe someone will get 'a kick out of' - doesn't work.

Don't buy them clothing that is not their style, taste, or to their liking.

Re: Hints for gift giving

faeriemoon — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 22:30:17 GMT

On 11/14/2014 deepwaterdotter said:
Cash always fits.

Especially for those between the ages of 10-20.

Re: Hints for gift giving

NoelSeven — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 22:44:37 GMT

On 11/14/2014 Shorty2U said:
My tip is make gift suggestions via lists. We all make lists and exchange the lists with each other. We do that with my children and grandchildren every year, and everyone always loves their gifts. To add- we only buy gifts within the family. We don't buy friend gifts, the mailman the this the that gifts like Q suggests. lol. We give our hair stylist a bigger tip money wise at Christmas which is appreciated more than some gift she has no use for!

That's such a good idea to mention wish lists!

QVC has one, I put up a couple of beauty gifts I'd like. Amazon also has a wish list, I put up a book I'd like to have. My BIL always puts up a pretty extensive wish list on Amazon, he has very well defined favorites in books and opera, so I just go directly to his list and order from there. You can also have a gift sent directly to the person, so you save money that way.

Re: Hints for gift giving

AnikaBrodie — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 22:48:23 GMT

I love to receive restaurant gift certificates, especially for a high end restaurant that we don't frequent often (i.e., budget restraints).

Re: Hints for gift giving

Sooner — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 23:17:20 GMT

I think a lot of well-meaning gift-giving goes off the rails when the giver is too concerned with getting something that will be so creative and unique that everyone will be stunned at their imaginative efforts. Often times "stunned" is the reaction but not in the manner the giver wished.

One of my relatives always went out looking for something that nobody would ever have imagined they wanted. Needless to say, people braced for the impact before tearing off the paper on gifts from that person! LOL!!!

Re: Hints for gift giving

sciencegeek_1 — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 23:17:55 GMT

In my family, we buy for 5 adults and 3 teens. We each put together a short wish list of hints. Each list always includes a couple of items under $15, and none ever include anything over $50. That way if we're unsure what someone would like, we have a way to KNOW for sure, and there's something on the list for everyone's budget.

One of my family's favorite gifts is a magazine subscription. Obviously you have to pick one that the receiver will like. Cooking, fashion, news, puzzles, sports, etc. But it's something we all enjoy, and we get it throughout the year instead of all at once.

Re: Hints for gift giving

chrystaltree — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 23:25:28 GMT

Don't give people cash. We just put it in our wallets or deposit in our accounts and it's like not even receiving a gift. Also, if you are low on funds and can't afford to buy somone something really nice, don't buy something cheap or silly just to say "I gave her gift". It's much better to give someone a nice card with personal note and a "promise" of a belated gift later. Because no one wants a lilac scented candle from a Dollar Store.

Re: Hints for gift giving

chickenbutt — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 23:30:24 GMT

On 11/14/2014 chrystaltree said:
Don't give people cash. We just put it in our wallets or deposit in our accounts and it's like not even receiving a gift. Also, if you are low on funds and can't afford to buy somone something really nice, don't buy something cheap or silly just to say "I gave her gift". It's much better to give someone a nice card with personal note and a "promise" of a belated gift later. Because no one wants a lilac scented candle from a Dollar Store.

Some people really love getting cash. I cannot think of anything I would want more than cash. I know everybody doesn't feel that way, but I know a lot of people who do, so to recommend giving cash as a gift would come with caveats. (like, does that particular person prefer cash, etc)

We don't do gifts for christmas anymore. He just gives me my half of the money and he takes his half. We each do whatever we want with our half. I love this and so does my husband. After a while you've pretty much given each other everything, plus both of us are people who like to purchase our own things anyway.

I did just receive the most fabulous coconut cake (because my friend knows how much I love coconut) for my birthday this week. That was definitely a primo gift. I'll never forget the kindness, thoughtfulness, and generosity of that gift. It's massively huge, so I'm freezing and vacuum sealing individual pieces so I can have it throughout the year. But I ate coconut cake (not just any coconut cake, either!) for three days and I'm still dreaming about it.

Re: Hints for gift giving

hennypenny — Sat, 15 Nov 2014 01:47:24 GMT

My grandmother always said ""give me something small that I can tuck in a drawer"". It was half a joke. We never spent a bundle on her cuz we figured she would give it away.

Re: Hints for gift giving

chessylady — Sat, 15 Nov 2014 02:13:40 GMT

Stop with the scarfs already. I have certain relatives who give me a scarf year after year. We do not live in a cold climate, I rarely wear a scarf. To me it sends a message that they don't know what to buy me so they end buying a scarf. They know I like jewelry but I don't get jewelry. Is this possibly passive aggresive?

Re: Hints for gift giving

NoelSeven — Sat, 15 Nov 2014 02:18:33 GMT

On 11/14/2014 chessylady said: Stop with the scarfs already. I have certain relatives who give me a scarf year after year. We do not live in a cold climate, I rarely wear a scarf. To me it sends a message that they don't know what to buy me so they end buying a scarf. They know I like jewelry but I don't get jewelry. Is this possibly passive aggresive?

I like jewelry, too, but I don't expect relatives to shell out that much money. My husband, yes

Re: Hints for gift giving

Lynneuk — Sat, 15 Nov 2014 02:20:17 GMT

My tip is, don't add clutter to people's lives I like to give and receive gifts that are consumable. Restaurant or cinema gift cards, wine, flowers, nice vinegars and oils, cheeses. Personal hates are scented candles and sprays. Scents are so personal and most are way too strong and make me nauseous.

Re: Hints for gift giving

Mominohio — Sat, 15 Nov 2014 02:28:16 GMT

The tip I would have to offer is don't give gifts to anyone who you know cannot afford reciprocate, and would feel awkward or embarrassed to receive but not be able to give back. That puts them in a really bad place, and will actually ruin the holiday for some.

If there is someone in your life who fits this description, and you feel you just have to do something, send money or gifts anonymously, or give something really simple, like a card and some homemade candy or cookies, so they don't feel bad about not having money to gift back.

Re: Hints for gift giving

Sooner — Sat, 15 Nov 2014 04:25:10 GMT

A great gift would be to stop office gift giving.