topic Re: Did I do the Right Thing? in Community Chat

Did I do the Right Thing?

terrier3 — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 21:41:30 GMT

I thought of this while reading the post on wedding rings.

When my uncle died at 68, my aunt put his wedding ring on and never took it off again.

She had arthritis and her wedding set and his ring went over her knuckle.

When she passed 10 years later, the funeral director told me he would remove the rings. I told him to leave them on her hand and bury her with them.

They were nice rings - in a platinum setting.

I wear her high school ring on my pinkie every day for luck - but I thought she should never be separated from the rings that meant so much to her.

Was that foolish of me????

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

LyndaGee — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 21:45:06 GMT

You were close to her, so you would know what she would've wanted.

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

minkbunny — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 21:47:39 GMT

I left my late husband's wedding band on him when he was buried, 18k etched white gold. He loved the ring and said he never wanted to take it off.

He never did. (we were married 34 years)

To answer your question, I think you did a very loving thing. The last thing you could do for your aunt.

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

beckyb1012 — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 21:48:38 GMT

No it was lovely, from your heart.

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

HisElk — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 21:50:20 GMT

IMO, you knew what was important to her and you did the right thing. No, I don't think it was foolish at all.

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

MomOf4 — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 21:52:04 GMT

What you did was very kind and thoughtful Terrier. I'm sure your aunt would have appreciated it.

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

tansy — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 21:53:23 GMT

I guess I'm cynical enough to worry that someone would pocket the rings before the burial.

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

terrier3 — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 21:55:59 GMT

On 10/21/2014 tansy said: I guess I'm cynical enough to worry that someone would pocket the rings before the burial.

I was cynical enough to be there when they sealed the coffin!

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

tansy — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 21:59:03 GMT

On 10/21/2014 terrier3 said:
On 10/21/2014 tansy said: I guess I'm cynical enough to worry that someone would pocket the rings before the burial.

I was cynical enough to be there when they sealed the coffin!

Good for you! I was worried bringing up the subject of possible theft.

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

sylviahomeatlast — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 22:00:52 GMT

absolute right thing to honor their life together--

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

ical — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 22:01:04 GMT

On 10/21/2014 terrier3 said:
On 10/21/2014 tansy said: I guess I'm cynical enough to worry that someone would pocket the rings before the burial.

I was cynical enough to be there when they sealed the coffin!

How do they seal a coffin, if you don't mind me asking.

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

tansy — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 22:02:00 GMT

On 10/21/2014 ical said:
On 10/21/2014 terrier3 said:
On 10/21/2014 tansy said: I guess I'm cynical enough to worry that someone would pocket the rings before the burial.

I was cynical enough to be there when they sealed the coffin!

How do they seal a coffin, if you don't mind me asking.

I was wondering about that, too.

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

terrier3 — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 22:02:05 GMT

On 10/21/2014 tansy said:
On 10/21/2014 terrier3 said:
On 10/21/2014 tansy said: I guess I'm cynical enough to worry that someone would pocket the rings before the burial.

I was cynical enough to be there when they sealed the coffin!

Good for you! I was worried bringing up the subject of possible theft.

They were from Tiffany's - a solitaire and an eternity band. I knew they would have to break her knuckle to get them off...the funeral director said they do that all the time to retrieve rings.

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

terrier3 — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 22:05:44 GMT

On 10/21/2014 tansy said:
On 10/21/2014 ical said:
On 10/21/2014 terrier3 said:
On 10/21/2014 tansy said: I guess I'm cynical enough to worry that someone would pocket the rings before the burial.

I was cynical enough to be there when they sealed the coffin!

How do they seal a coffin, if you don't mind me asking.

I was wondering about that, too.

They are in an above ground maesoleum (spelling?) and it needed a special type metal coffin with special seals and gaskets all around.

I made sure to be there to say goodbye. Then they closed the coffin, put the seals on while I waited and I watched as they put the casket in the hearse and followed right behind.

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

tansy — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 22:07:01 GMT

Thanks, terrier, and I think you did the right thing

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

lulu2 — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 22:10:47 GMT

My mother died 40 years ago. Back then we were encouraged to bury her with her favorite jewelry pieces. My father left her wedding ring on her and we girls put her gold charm bracelet on her because all the charms represented the 3 of us.

Years later, we said that was a silly thing to do.

At one time there were such things as grave robbers so it must not have been unusual to bury loved ones with items of monetary value.

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

nunya — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 22:10:56 GMT

I too think you did the right thing. I'd rather know they were with her than if I kept them and wondered if I shouldn't have.

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

Chihuahualuv — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 22:16:31 GMT

Absolutely, you did the right thing!

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

Free2be — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 22:21:27 GMT

Terrier, please don't second-guess yourself. People have buried treasures with their dead from the beginning of time. It's a way of honoring the person even if we in our modern minds know they aren't really "taking" the items with them, as people once thought was possible.

The basic question is what would the deceased person want, to have it in the coffin or to have family (or friends) keep it. You did the right thing.

Re: Did I do the Right Thing?

RedTop — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 22:22:27 GMT

I totally agree that you did the right thing. Both my grandmother and my dad were buried with their wedding rings.