topic Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying? in Community Chat

How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

Lindsays Grandma — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 10:07:18 GMT

My granddaughter has a friend who along with her younger sister are home schooled and the friend would love to go to public school. Lindsay is eleven and her friend is ten and they love sitting together side by side playing games on the computer, mostly at our house. The friend would love to go to public school but her mother said she won't allow it because she is afraid she may be bullied or become a bully. The part about becoming a bully is what threw me.

The girl is well behaved and does have the tendency of being a little pushy but I don't see her as the bullying type. As I said in the title, how do you interpret the mother's comment?

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

Deb1010again — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 10:16:58 GMT

I take her comment at face value, it's pretty direct. IMO going to school is important because it socializes a child in a way that home schooling does not. The mother seems to have little faith in her own daughter as she's afraid her daughter will succumb to the influence of others -- either be picked on or pick on others.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

qualitygal — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 10:28:46 GMT

I think there's more to her answer than that. That's what she chooses to share. The world is a very dangerous today, we all know that. Like any parent, If we could put them in a protective bubble to keep them safe, we would all feel better. I'm guessing that she may just be a super scared mom for her kids. If she says "bullying" maybe it's her form of not scaring her child, for the real reasons she's so afraid. Just a guess, no one but mom really knows. It's the parent's choice. Thinking also of the suicides some choose to take, this could also be a big fear on the mother's part.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

Mistic — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 10:32:31 GMT

Of course I don't know this Mom, but it sounds to me like she has control issues. If her Children are at home, she is in total control.

I agree with Deb too. Children need socialization to thrive. JMO

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

Pook — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 11:42:49 GMT

This mother may see something in her daughter's personality that causes her worry about this. You stated that she does have a tendency to be a bit pushy so this tendency you see might be more than that in her own home and that could be the reason for the home schooling. If that is the case she should be getting her help. She could also be a little OCD about protecting her daughter but that could lead to more problems as she goes out into the work world.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

jackthebear — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 12:30:01 GMT

People who homeschool think the world is a scary place and that school are even worse and they need to keep their kids at home where they can be controlled.

I think the kids need to be living in the world in which they will be pursing a higher education, probably working and learning to socialize and live with all kinds of people, some who are like you and some are not.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

ical — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 12:42:25 GMT

On 10/6/2014 Lindsays Grandma said:
My granddaughter has a friend who along with her younger sister are home schooled and the friend would love to go to public school. Lindsay is eleven and her friend is ten and they love sitting together side by side playing games on the computer, mostly at our house. The friend would love to go to public school but her mother said she won't allow it because she is afraid she may be bullied or become a bully. The part about becoming a bully is what threw me.

The girl is well behaved and does have the tendency of being a little pushy but I don't see her as the bullying type. As I said in the title, how do you interpret the mother's comment?

I don't think, imo, she was speaking specifically in regard to her daughter.

I'm not taking it literally. Perhaps she meant that anyone can be called a "bully" because, in some cases, it is blatantly a subjective opinion.

A bright, assertive (assertive, not aggressive) child may be called a "bully", for example, simply by standing up for a value.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

apple1964 — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 13:29:21 GMT

I was bullied in school and I did not want that for my daughters. I told them to defend themselves if they have to and if that did not work just ignore these bullies . I am blessed that neither one of my daughters were picked on. Perhaps, this mother feels her daughter may be picked on or she may pick on other children. I also believe that children going to school is part of growing up and learning to socialize with others.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

nunya — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 13:46:07 GMT

A lot of kids bully ...it's either be the bully or be bullied. They do it to others before it can happen to them.

Only the mother knows her situation. And plenty of homeschool kids have socialization, they aren't living in the middle of nowhere.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

Buck-i-Nana — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 14:44:59 GMT

Perhaps this Mom has seen bullying behavior in her daughter with her younger sister. It's a behavior that cannot and should not be ignored, but unfortunately IS ignored by many in the school systems and even by many parents until it goes too far.

My sister was a bully who tormented me especially as a young child until I was old enough to ignore her or defend myself. Her bullying was both physical and psychological. More often than not, our Mom would yell at me for being a cry-baby and trying to get my sister in trouble. Once in a while Dad would catch her at it, but he wasn't aware of the depth of the torment because she had me scared to death to tell on her.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

colliemom4 — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 15:11:40 GMT

The mom may just be very protective or worried about safety issues such as guns in schools etc? I would not keep a child at home because I feel they would be bullied. That can happen at any age.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

Moonchilde — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 15:14:32 GMT

Being homeschooled does not mean there is automatically no social interaction for the kids. I have a friend who homeschooled her son from 2nd through 8th grades. She joined a local homeschooling group in her area and she was constantly relating days out and field trips with a group of the same kids of all ages, and mentioned friends he made, visits/play dates, etc.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

Shorty2U — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 15:16:44 GMT

I don't know her but from what your typed it seems the mom is controlling or paranoid about her child going to school.

I also agree going to school and socializing is good for kids. They don't get that from sitting home doing their school work.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

VioletEyes — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 15:17:58 GMT

From the limited details given, it sounds like the mother was bullied in school and is transferring her fears.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

Marienkaefer2 — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 15:23:59 GMT

I think the mother is afraid that because of peer pressure, her daughter could become a bully. In the same way she might say she's afraid the daughter would get involved with drugs. Not because her daughter shows signs of being a bully, but that around other students she might be easily influenced. Regarding home schooling, I'm not an advocate, however....I know plenty of people who.do it, and their kids do.get socialization. They are involved with sports teams, clubs, community projects, church activities, etc. They are not hermits.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

croemer — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 15:41:14 GMT

On 10/6/2014 Marienkaefer2 said: I think the mother is afraid that because of peer pressure, her daughter could become a bully. In the same way she might say she's afraid the daughter would get involved with drugs. Not because her daughter shows signs of being a bully, but that around other students she might be easily influenced. Regarding home schooling, I'm not an advocate, however....I know plenty of people who.do it, and their kids do.get socialization. They are involved with sports teams, clubs, community projects, church activities, etc. They are not hermits.

Well said...my thoughts too.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

Marienkaefer2 — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 15:47:18 GMT

On 10/6/2014 croemer said:
On 10/6/2014 Marienkaefer2 said: I think the mother is afraid that because of peer pressure, her daughter could become a bully. In the same way she might say she's afraid the daughter would get involved with drugs. Not because her daughter shows signs of being a bully, but that around other students she might be easily influenced. Regarding home schooling, I'm not an advocate, however....I know plenty of people who.do it, and their kids do.get socialization. They are involved with sports teams, clubs, community projects, church activities, etc. They are not hermits.

Well said...my thoughts too.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

croemer — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 15:57:57 GMT

On 10/6/2014 Marienkaefer2 said:
On 10/6/2014 croemer said:
On 10/6/2014 Marienkaefer2 said: I think the mother is afraid that because of peer pressure, her daughter could become a bully. In the same way she might say she's afraid the daughter would get involved with drugs. Not because her daughter shows signs of being a bully, but that around other students she might be easily influenced. Regarding home schooling, I'm not an advocate, however....I know plenty of people who.do it, and their kids do.get socialization. They are involved with sports teams, clubs, community projects, church activities, etc. They are not hermits.

Well said...my thoughts too.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

kdgn — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 16:31:27 GMT

I think the mother has seen something in the older daughter's behavior that leads her to believe that becoming a bully with peer influence could easily happen. There's something going on between the two sisters, perhaps, that gives an indication that bullying could be around the corner if the oldest daughter isn't closely monitored. Or the mother could have seen such behaviors in social settings with the oldest daughter.

Being homeschooled allows the mom to have complete control over the behaviors, working with her daughter on self-control and how others are to be treated. Homeschooling does offer the benefit of smaller social interacting groups.

I am not a homeschool advocate but I do understand why some parents undertake home schooling.

Re: How do you interpret this comment about bullying?

straykatz — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 16:35:02 GMT

Did the mother say this was the reason or did the child say this is why she can't go to public school?