topic Re: Pet Peeve in Community Chat

Pet Peeve

lafelinevrais — Tue, 16 Sep 2014 02:43:01 GMT

I am often referred to by a shortened version of my given name by people who do not know me well. (For example, Pat for Patricia.) I feel that it is insensitive to assume that it is "chummy" to call someone a nickname. This last happened at the dentist office. I feel like responding by shortening that person's name by a few letters when I respond! Am I over reacting?

Re: Pet Peeve

hckynut — Tue, 16 Sep 2014 05:27:40 GMT

On 9/15/2014 lafelinevrais said:
I am often referred to by a shortened version of my given name by people who do not know me well. (For example, Pat for Patricia.) I feel that it is insensitive to assume that it is "chummy" to call someone a nickname. This last happened at the dentist office. I feel like responding by shortening that person's name by a few letters when I respond! Am I over reacting?

Your question is for you to decide. Me? I have no problem with people calling me by my name or a nick name if they want. Officiate a few adult hockey games and I think you would welcome being called by a shortening of your name.

My name sounded great after hearing mostly 4 letter versions of someone's name shouted my direction during these games. One thing you can't have when officiating a sport is what are called "rabbit ears". If you let these things bother you as a Ref? You will not enjoy doing these games, which is something most that do this enjoy. One with these "rabbit ears" will have a very short tenure as being an on-ice official in hockey games.

Re: Pet Peeve

Nicnacsmommy — Tue, 16 Sep 2014 14:46:11 GMT

I have a friend who's daughters name is Kimberly. She's very serious about her daughter being called Kimberly. She says "if I wanted her to be called Kim, that's what I would have named her." My son's name is Nicholas, but lots of people, including us call him Nic. I do find myself trying to call him Nicholas some. In the future it will be up to him what he wants to be called.

Re: Pet Peeve

Pickwickpapers — Tue, 16 Sep 2014 15:59:31 GMT

Most people have names that are shortened in regular conversation. Patricia, Pat or Patty, Susan, Sue or Suzy, John, Johnny or Jack, William, Will or Bill, etc. and the list goes on. There are some names that aren't usually shortened but the list is shorter and a nickname is often still given. I don't think people mean anything negative when shortening a name. If you don't like it you just have to continue to correct them until eventually they change. My given name has always been shortened and changed. I don't let it bother me..... I correct them and then go on.......my sister is named Jane which seems to be straight forward, simple name but she has been called Jan, Janie by people.......our aunt always called her Jana.......it made our Mom upset.

Re: Pet Peeve

chickenbutt — Tue, 16 Sep 2014 17:28:04 GMT

Unless you're out there killing people for it, I don't think you are over-reacting.

It's not polite to do that. But it seems like manners are no longer en vogue so people just do whatever they want, with no regard for the feelings of those around them.

But the bottom line is that if you introduce yourself as (just using the same name) Patricia, some Neanderthal should not respond with 'hey, Patty!'. That is just a pure lack of social graces and manners.

Re: Pet Peeve

Colonel Meow — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 00:54:59 GMT

I don't think you are over-reacting - it's your name, after all. I would firmly (but pleasantly) correct new acquaintances who shorten your name, so that there is no question about your preference.

A simple way of correcting someone without offending them would be to say "Actually, I prefer Elizabeth. People rarely call me Liz."

If they choose to continue calling you Liz - well, then I would have to agree that they are simply showing poor manners and a lack of social graces.

Re: Pet Peeve

colliemom4 — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 05:01:03 GMT

On 9/16/2014 Colonel Meow said:
I don't think you are over-reacting - it's your name, after all. I would firmly (but pleasantly) correct new acquaintances who shorten your name, so that there is no question about your preference.

A simple way of correcting someone without offending them would be to say "Actually, I prefer Elizabeth. People rarely call me Liz."

If they choose to continue calling you Liz - well, then I would have to agree that they are simply showing poor manners and a lack of social graces.

I agree and would do the same thing you suggested.

Re: Pet Peeve

Miss Brenda Starr — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 19:31:16 GMT

On 9/16/2014 Colonel Meow said:
I don't think you are over-reacting - it's your name, after all. I would firmly (but pleasantly) correct new acquaintances who shorten your name, so that there is no question about your preference.

A simple way of correcting someone without offending them would be to say "Actually, I prefer Elizabeth. People rarely call me Liz."

If they choose to continue calling you Liz - well, then I would have to agree that they are simply showing poor manners and a lack of social graces.

Re: Pet Peeve

lafelinevrais — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 02:03:18 GMT

Thank you all for your great responses!

Re: Pet Peeve

lizzief — Sun, 21 Sep 2014 05:16:50 GMT

Not at all! I find that people don't take the time to listen when you introduce yourself. My given name is Kathleen, I go by Katie. But many times people call me "Kathy." It grates on my ear, simply because it's not, and never has been, my name! Call me Kathleen or call me Katie, please don't call me Kathy. I even had my business cards printed with "Katie," to avoid the whole Kathleen/Kathy thing - yet people still called me Kathy when Katie was printed in front of them!

Re: Pet Peeve

JamicaJammer — Mon, 22 Sep 2014 19:41:43 GMT

I have a simple, 1950s name. There is a more formal version, and a shortened, nickname version. Legally my name is the simply, 1950s version, yet most every teacher tried to use the formal version for school records, etc.

And only one ex-husband (yet one more reason he's an EX) would use the shortened, nickname version when he was smashed drunk....to this day, I hate it b/c it reminds me of his slobbery drunk state.

Couple the above with the fact that not only are there 3 versions, there are also several spellings, and even if I spell it out before pronouncing it to someone asking my name, they want to add additional letters or spell it differently.

And to top off the confusion....my mom had the same name but her's is spelled differently than mine.

Always swore I'd NEVER, EVER name a child the same name as a parent, yet my late dh insisting our first born child have his name to start the I, II, III, IV, etc. tradition.

Re: Pet Peeve

justathought — Thu, 25 Sep 2014 18:58:57 GMT

I named my 3 daughters names that I was sure could not be ""nicked"" Ha

Elaine-laine

Amy-aim

Marcie-mousie.

We always used their full names but some people didn't.

Re: Pet Peeve

Another new name Sue — Fri, 26 Sep 2014 15:36:36 GMT

You are free to correct them with a few words and a smile. But on the scale of important things in life, this isn't even a blip.