topic Re: It seems that in Community Chat

It seems that

RibbonsRosesRainbows — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 05:33:28 GMT

My DIL will be going back to her country at the end of October or first of November.........with my precious grandbaby.........so sad............no one to sponsor here and take on the expense with her insurance and the baby and then auto insurance and mother and baby's health insurance......they thought it would all work out but it is something no one is will to do for her and I would if I could but I do not qualify to sponsor her............I have been invited to go and visit for one week before the baby and mother go to her home country...........to stay a week and be with the baby but I don't have the money and really I don't think I could handle going there and being with her knowing she is going to be gone and never come back........this is what I was trying to avoid last year but they have to take care of themselves now.........I know my son is sad and I guess he does not have get up and go to get through hthis.......thank you for letting me share.

Re: It seems that

ROMARY — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 05:46:17 GMT

Never say never........The baby will quickly grow up and most possibly want to come back to America for visits, or maybe even stay here. Since she is a US citizen. Trying to think positive here..... I'm sure that DIL will be sending your DS photos, videos, etc. which he can forward to you. Anyway, wishing you and everyone well. Everything will work out, and I'm hoping your son's MIL will remain friendly with him, sending him updates, photos, etc. It's all we can wish for right now. Good health and safety for all concerned.

Re: It seems that

Kachina624 — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 06:03:13 GMT

Is your son going to remain married to this person? I assume she is not planning on ever coming back to the US? What a mess your son and this woman made of things! I can't get over the feeling that your son is being ""used"".

Re: It seems that

chessylady — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 06:05:00 GMT

I don't understand, if she is married to your son isn't she automatically entitled to a green card that allows her to stay here? it sounds as if the marriage isn't working and she wants to go home.

Re: It seems that

Monketoes — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 06:09:15 GMT

Did they ever talk to you about him going over there with her and the baby?

Re: It seems that

ROMARY — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 06:18:36 GMT

I was just thinking.........the DIL may stay there in M. and decide she would rather be here after all. (I've seen this happen. (Other countries)) . . . . Maybe at that time, her mother will help her get a visa back to the US, and then possibly help her financially with applying for a green card, or whatever. Since, If I correctly recall, the mother is financially well.

Re: It seems that

ROMARY — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 06:22:31 GMT

If I correctly remember, she needs a financially qualified sponsor in order to get a green card, (which surprised me, since she is supposedly married to OP's son). It was so confusing on a previous thread, and just when I thought I understood it all, I'm still confused regarding the laws, etc.

Re: It seems that

ROMARY — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 06:25:45 GMT

Well, all we can do is hope for the best for everyone. It's out of our hands, so-to-speak. Just wishing the best of health and safety for all of them. That's the important thing that we can do. It's very late, so I'll be signing off for now. Tomorrow is always another day, hopefully.

Re: It seems that

Lindsays Grandma — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 08:35:13 GMT

I'm sorry to hear this and I am also confused. I'm not familiar with immigration laws but I do know many children born in the United States to a an American Citizen can remain here and are automatically American Citizens. I won't mention nationalities but when I lived in California I saw this happen all the time.

RRR, I hope your daughter-in law will be kind enough to send you pictures of your granddaughter. If she and your son get a divorce I doubt if she will communicate with you and you will have to depend on your son to send pictures. Is your son going to stay in Texas or will he want to move back in with you? In any case, I wish you well, and stay strong.

Re: It seems that

adelle38 — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 08:44:08 GMT

On 8/21/2014 chessylady said: I don't understand, if she is married to your son isn't she automatically entitled to a green card that allows her to stay here? it sounds as if the marriage isn't working and she wants to go home.

Re: It seems that

adelle38 — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 08:46:09 GMT

On 8/22/2014 Lindsays Grandma said:
I'm sorry to hear this and I am also confused. I'm not familiar with immigration laws but I do know many children born in the United States to a an American Citizen can remain here and are automatically American Citizens. I won't mention nationalities but when I lived in California I saw this happen all the time.

RRR, I hope your daughter-in law will be kind enough to send you pictures of your granddaughter. If she and your son get a divorce I doubt if she will communicate with you and you will have to depend on your son to send pictures. Is your son going to stay in Texas or will he want to move back in with you? In any case, I wish you well, and stay strong.

The child.born here can stay but the parent can't. That's true of all nationalities. The grandchild could stay but not the mother.

Re: It seems that

Chalcedony — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 11:08:31 GMT

It seems to me that most of the blame for their return to Malaysia lies with the baby's father. HE should be sponsoring his wife for her green card, but cannot bring himself to find a job (or jobs) that pay enough to meet the minimum required threshold. I suspect the baby's mother regrets the day she ever hooked up with him. Returning to Malaysia with the baby to live with her parents and start over is likely the best option for her and the baby. OP's son needs to grow up, step up, and get his act together. I believe he will be back living with his mother by year-end.

Re: It seems that

irishmama5 — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 11:13:30 GMT

From your posts from months ago. Your DILs parents were to raise the baby in their country for several years your Grand daughter would have been moving there soon. JMO your DIL has her Masters yet could not find a job, she comes from a wealthy family and now living in a bug infested apartment. The best her husband can find is a part-time minimal pay job. I think she is doing the right thing. Is your son still planning on joining the Military?

Re: It seems that

brii — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 11:56:04 GMT

I'm sure that was her plan all along. She never intended to live here with that baby.

Re: It seems that

donasmom — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 12:18:47 GMT

Something is not quite right here. My first husband received his Green Card when we were married - immediately. Also, many, many immigrants both documented and otherwise receive health benefits from their respective states - especially those with dependent children.

I know RR has mentioned many times that her DS just wants to watch TV and play video games all day. This sounds more like the DIL has had enough and is moving home with her child.

Here comes the next chapter: DS moves home with RR...................

Re: It seems that

I am still oxox — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 12:20:26 GMT

On 8/22/2014 brii said: I'm sure that was her plan all along. She never intended to live here with that baby.

I agree I think she used the son as a vehicle to have a baby and nothing more. I think she trapped the son and this was her plan all along

Re: It seems that

Krimpette — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 12:39:21 GMT

From the things the OP has posted about her son's lack of ambition, I can't really blame his wife for going back home.

Re: It seems that

RibbonsRosesRainbows — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 12:39:45 GMT

On 8/21/2014 ROMARY said:
Never say never........The baby will quickly grow up and most possibly want to come back to America for visits, or maybe even stay here. Since she is a US citizen. Trying to think positive here..... I'm sure that DIL will be sending your DS photos, videos, etc. which he can forward to you. Anyway, wishing you and everyone well. Everything will work out, and I'm hoping your son's MIL will remain friendly with him, sending him updates, photos, etc. It's all we can wish for right now. Good health and safety for all concerned.

My grandbaby can not have dual citizenship........so she can go to Malaysia for 90 days or stay in America and my son is going to sign her over to her mother..........I asked him to let her stay here and me and his step mom and dad are willing to take care of her but he is letting the mother have her.....if he said no then the baby could not go........I am not surprised but I can't believe she could not get a green card......she was making $2,400 a month but again my son is not working and can't support her or himself and this time, I can't let him come back home. He will have more opportunity in Texas anyone than this small town.

Re: It seems that

RibbonsRosesRainbows — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 12:43:55 GMT

On 8/21/2014 kachina624 said: Is your son going to remain married to this person? I assume she is not planning on ever coming back to the US? What a mess your son and this woman made of things! I can't get over the feeling that your son is being "used".

He said they are staying married and they are going to New York so he can get papers to see her in Malaysia and can stay more than 90 days but I think she is lying to my son.....like I said last year and when they first met.........it seemed wrong from the start but my son would not listen......I am not surprised by this.........her mother was coming in September and staying to March of next year then she said she was coming in January and now the mother is not coming of course my daughter in law and her parents had this all worked out and my son never knew what they talked about because they spoke mandarin in front of him....I tried to tell him over and over and over and I begged them not to move for her to take a part time job that was temporary but she wanted out of this small town and I was good to her regardless of what people on this board think. I gave them money, bought food, clothes, shoes........she has a pair of my Chanel shoes, they just never fit me right with me having a narrow foot and she came here and used all of my son's college money because his aunt gave it to him for their marriage and moving to Texas and now it is all gone..........but I can't take my son in......no more.......he has to grow up.

Re: It seems that

RibbonsRosesRainbows — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 12:44:43 GMT

On 8/21/2014 chessylady said: I don't understand, if she is married to your son isn't she automatically entitled to a green card that allows her to stay here? it sounds as if the marriage isn't working and she wants to go home.

No she can not get a green card unless she has a sponsor that makes 125% over the poverty limit.