topic Re: Hurtful secrets in Community Chat

Hurtful secrets

MOONRISER — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 17:28:55 GMT

I'm sure we have all been privy to this at one time or another. I really hate it when someone has "SHARED" something personal about someone. It's as if they need a companion to know so they don't have to be responsible for what may come from knowing about it. How do you handle this situation?

Re: Hurtful secrets

gazelle77 — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 17:37:40 GMT

sound like the Housewives reality show..... catty, rude and deceitful. I do not share my personal issues with anyone. That is how you deal with it.

Re: Hurtful secrets

occasionalrain — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 17:39:40 GMT

Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead. Keep your secrets to yourself or expect them to become gossip.

Re: Hurtful secrets

straykatz — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 17:43:58 GMT

When a person confides something personal to me that was told to them in confidence by another I lose respect for that person and then ease them out of my life....if they do that to others then I am betting they would do it to me too.....I'm also a firm believer that a secret only remains a secret if you keep it to yourself.

Re: Hurtful secrets

deepwaterdotter — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 17:45:40 GMT

""You told me what? Guess I didn't hear you.""

Re: Hurtful secrets

MOONRISER — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 17:50:54 GMT

That is a good way DWD. I just wish they wouldn't tell me.

Re: Hurtful secrets

NoelSeven — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 18:01:01 GMT

It's a burden, but it depends on what you found out. If someone is a child predator, you may have to respond in some way to protect others. If it's just basic scandal like an affair, keep your mouth shut.

If the person who told you wants to share more, tell her you don't want to know, it's none of your business.

Re: Hurtful secrets

DoneTryin — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 18:15:26 GMT

I try to stop them from telling me if I can, though that doesn't always work. I usually just say that it's not any of our business. That person doesn't usually do that again, I might add. Then I have to try to purge the unwanted info from my brain.

Re: Hurtful secrets

JuJu Squeezie — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 18:27:03 GMT

These happen when, #1 knows they are in the wrong, has done wrong, been dead wrong and then hopes beyond hope that by telling #2, there's a once in a lifetime's chance, a sliver of hope, a longshot that #2 will tell you, it's ok, you didn't mean it, you didn't know, you couldn't have helped it! Not guilty!

Re: Hurtful secrets

Mominohio — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 22:02:18 GMT

On 8/21/2014 NoelSeven said:
It's a burden, but it depends on what you found out. If someone is a child predator, you may have to respond in some way to protect others. If it's just basic scandal like an affair, keep your mouth shut.

If the person who told you wants to share more, tell her you don't want to know, it's none of your business.

I agree. Some things aren't (or should I say shouldn't be) really private and secret if they involve illegalities and someone is being violated, but other than that, the only thing you can really do is make sure it goes no further than you. If someone is constantly putting you in that position, you may want to limit your exposure to them.

Re: Hurtful secrets

hckynut — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 22:26:17 GMT

On 8/21/2014 MOONRISER said: I'm sure we have all been privy to this at one time or another. I really hate it when someone has "SHARED" something personal about someone. It's as if they need a companion to know so they don't have to be responsible for what may come from knowing about it. How do you handle this situation?

Not sure I understand exactly what you are asking. I have shared personal things with someone, but those things involved myself and the person to which I was sharing them. Now if that person wants to share it with someone else? Doesn't bother me any but it sure changes my view of that particular person for sure.

If something personal about something I have done is disclosed? There are 2 ways someone(me/I) can handle it.