topic Re: What If . . ? in Community Chat

What If . . ?

Suzeecat — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 15:08:59 GMT

If you were a single 60-something empty-nester and decided to just up and move out of state, how would you meet new friends? This is a thought I have been playing around with lately. Most of my current friendships have evolved through work, hobbies or with my children's mothers. After my marriage ended several years ago, I felt uncomfortable attending my regular church and after trying many others, just never found a place that felt "right". Singles groups seem to be geared more toward the younger crowd and I'm not interested in dating, just developing friendships with other women that I can enjoy social things like going to a movie, shopping, dinners, etc.

Now that my children are grown and on their own, one living out of state, the other graduates college in a year and may very well accept employment out of state, I'm feeling like I may want to expand my horizons, step out of my comfort zone, and make a fresh start somewhere NEW. It's just in the beginning phases of a thought, perhaps a dream, and I know there are lots of things to consider. If this ever comes to fruition, I'm just wondering how does one create a completely new circle of friends at this phase of my life?

Re: What If . . ?

BORN AGAIN — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 16:28:22 GMT

The best way to meet new people is through shared activites. I wish you luck on your new adventures!

Re: What If . . ?

blackhole99 — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 16:48:36 GMT

I have always found it hard to make friendships that last, but I agree that probably the best way to meet new people is through shared interests.

Re: What If . . ?

Marienkaefer2 — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 16:58:52 GMT

I've moved quite a bit in my life, and in the last few years, I've noticed that it has gotten harder to actually connect with people on more than a superficial basis. However, have you ever signed up for the online site Meet Up?" You get emails from them every week listing group activities taking place that align with your interests. In my area, there are walking groups, hiking groups, art classes, pet owner groups, etc. There are groups based on just women, like we have an all women walking group. Also.newcomers, certain age groups, etc. That might be one place to start. Also, if you move to an adult/retirement community, there will be lots of activities where you can meet people. Get a dog. You meet a lot of people walking your dog.

Re: What If . . ?

HiLo — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 17:13:32 GMT

I have always loved meeting new people and have made many lasting friendships.. But as another poster stated, it seems that as I got older most of the new relationships are more superficial. Very good suggestions from the above poster for meeting people of similar interests.

Best of luck!

Re: What If . . ?

chrystaltree — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 18:05:14 GMT

Well, people do it all the time. I think if I were trying to re-establish myself somewhere new; my goal would not be to make new friends. I would just be as social and involved in events and organizations that interest me. Because I think most of us make friends with people we go to church with or school with or through clubs. I tend to be a bit reserved around new people, so it would be somewhat hard for me but I would join a church and do some volunteer work in the community. I'd take an adult education class. I'd attend civic and cultural events. I'd be friendly and open to everyone I met. I'd socialize and I'd meet new people and hopefully some of those people would become friends. It doesn't happen overnight. You have to be patient. One of my friends moved from MA to Delaware about 5 years ago. She was single, pushing 50 and she met a man through a dating service. She moved to give the relationship a chance to develop. It didn't, it fizzled. But she stayed in Delaware because she loved her little house, her job, the weather. She went through a couple of very lonely, isolated years. It took her several years to build a small circle of friends. But she did and she she's happy now.

Re: What If . . ?

qualitygal — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 18:09:35 GMT

If I did that, I'd go to only the places I find comfortable, starters: my church, book stores, B & N, Library. I'd volunteer at the library and get involved at church. Like to like, I think, would work out since they tell you to have similar interests in either a mate and sometimes a best friend. It's the only way I guess I'd be able to start.

Re: What If . . ?

silver Goldie — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 19:01:52 GMT

IMO the quickest way would be to join a Red Hat Society group. I have a friend who belongs to three of these and she's always lunching somewhere. Beware though, she developed diabetes and is managing it. Good luck.

Re: What If . . ?

Clover29 — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 19:32:40 GMT

I'm getting a new dog this week. A world of friends just opened up; my contact at the rescue org asked if I wanted to join in their alumni group, where they talk about their rescue dogs and it's their first place to ask others about any problems. Walking a dog is another way to meet people.

Re: What If . . ?

151949 — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 19:33:26 GMT

I think the best way for you to meet new people is to just get out and about living your life. Volunteer somewhere. take a water aerobics class - I have made a few good friends that way. Stop on the way to get your mail and say hello to your neighbors. The thing is - if you sit around the house all day and be a hermit you will not meet anyone. So - get out and do stuff - whatever interests you.

The lady who lives in the other half of our house is much older than most of us who live there but one day she was getting her mail and stopped to chat with another neighbor's mother who was visiting. Our roofmate mentioned that she loved to shop - turns out so does the other lady and they have become very good pals - out shopping, eating out and having fun all the time now. Now when the Mom comes to visit she stays at her new friend's house instead of crowding in with her daughter and her family. They are only 3 doors away but I think she is more comfortable with her own age friend.

Re: What If . . ?

circles — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 20:10:00 GMT

I couldn't do it....unless I had family in another state that I was moving to....but to just pick up and move to a place I know no one....I would be so lost...lonely...and probably scared...I am a big baby....lol...

Re: What If . . ?

ROMARY — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 20:21:33 GMT

Shared activities, hobbies, places of worship (if any), community centers for all ages, adult education classes, travel groups, fashion shows/events, charity events, etc. Just place yourself in places which interest you. Make it a daily routine. You will eventually meet folks who have similar interests.

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esmerelda — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 20:37:47 GMT

I've just started thinking about doing that, and wondering how to make new friends never crossed my mind. Guess I'm happy enough with my own company.

Re: What If . . ?

game-on — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 20:47:49 GMT

I don't know what kind of a community you want to move into.... but a 55+ community often has lots of activities.... and there you can make new friends.... somewhere like in Phoenix or in cities in FL or along the coast of the Carolinas.... and I am sure there are others.

Re: What If . . ?

Peaches McPhee — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 21:13:16 GMT

Volunteer work, a class of some kind (at the local college or community center), a part-time job, an exercise class, or (if you are old enough) the local senior center.

Re: What If . . ?

Monketoes — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 22:51:52 GMT

Game-on has a good idea