topic Re: FORGIVE AND FORGET..... in Community Chat

FORGIVE AND FORGET.....

Catfancy — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:40:27 GMT

Have you really forgiven if you can't "forget"?

Re: FORGIVE AND FORGET.....

deepwaterdotter — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:42:17 GMT

Yes I have. Sometimes it just takes me a while to understand why things happen, but I still recall that they happened.

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croemer — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:42:18 GMT

I think ...not.

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MickD — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:46:15 GMT

Nope. When you're out, you're out of my circle of trust...sianara.

Re: FORGIVE AND FORGET.....

Mom2Dogs — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:50:12 GMT

I've tried..and would like to resume a friendship but cannot. I am no longer angry but do not want to be friendly with the person, sadly it is a close family member.

Re: FORGIVE AND FORGET.....

terrier3 — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:51:25 GMT

Absolutely.

Harboring anger hurts the angry person more than anyone else.

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brii — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:53:43 GMT

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Preds — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:54:15 GMT

I try to forgive, but I cannot forget. I try to understand the "why" behind it all. There are two sides.

Re: FORGIVE AND FORGET.....

bikerbabe — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:55:43 GMT

It depends on how you define forget. If someone has a pattern of repeating the same behavior over and over you may still be able to forgive but there comes a point where you need to make a mental note of the repeating pattern. But 1 Cor 13 speaks of love as keeping no record of wrongs.

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tansy — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:57:03 GMT

It doesn't really matter. Forgiving someone doesn't necessarily mean that the person is still included in your life.

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Bird mama — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:58:52 GMT

I am able to forgive. Forgetting is another matter. I won't let it consume me, but it's more like.. fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

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ShowMe — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:59:17 GMT

I can forgive, but usually don't forget. But do feel the forgiving part is the most important.....

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LillyBelle74 — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 22:03:33 GMT

Re: FORGIVE AND FORGET.....

Irshgrl31201 — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 22:05:19 GMT

It depends on what is done. I can forgive anyone but it depends on the seriousness of the offense if I still want them in my life

There are people I have forgiven but are no longer in my life because despite forgiving them, I know I can no longer trust them.

Then there are people I have forgiven who are still in my life because I didn't consider it friendship ending.

Re: FORGIVE AND FORGET.....

dooBdoo — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 22:07:38 GMT

I think the act of forgiveness is separate from "forgetting."

Holding onto resentment hurts the person feeling the resentment.

(Remember the adage, resentment is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.)

As I wrote on another thread yesterday, forgiveness doesn't mean what the other person did was okay. Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves.

But we don't suddenly have amnesia. I think remembering, without anger or upset, protects us from being hurt in the same way in the future.

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Lion — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 22:10:11 GMT

It's not possible to really forget unless we have amnesia.

I think a better definition would be not dwelling on it, leaving it in the past.

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Marianne1 — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 22:11:56 GMT

On 8/17/2014 Lion said:
It's not possible to really forget unless we have amnesia.

I think a better definition would be not dwelling on it, leaving it in the past.

that's what I want to say. Thanks.

Re: FORGIVE AND FORGET.....

RoughDraft — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 22:15:01 GMT

On 8/17/2014 Lion said:
It's not possible to really forget unless we have amnesia.

I think a better definition would be not dwelling on it, leaving it in the past.

Perfect!

Re: FORGIVE AND FORGET.....

Catfancy — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 22:17:35 GMT

On 8/17/2014 Lion said:
It's not possible to really forget unless we have amnesia.

I think a better definition would be not dwelling on it, leaving it in the past.

True! I just have trouble letting go of some things.

Re: FORGIVE AND FORGET.....

stilltamn8r — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 22:23:34 GMT

its not so much if we can "forget" ...very few of us can forget the important events or circumstances of our lives..

We can forgive if we can remember without pain..until we can remember events and they no longer cause us pain, i believe it is really impossible to forgive- it is simply lip service..

Think of the case of an ex husband who has hurt you and your children deeply, there are probably years that go by where you may think you have "Forgiven" him but thinking of him and the events still cause you pain..One day you realize that you o longer"feel" that pain when you think of him, or those circumstances..Only then, in my opinion, can you really truly forgive...