topic Re: A Take on Texting in Community Chat

A Take on Texting

deepwaterdotter — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 19:59:01 GMT

My friend mentioned that her daughter prefers to text instead of call her. She told her daughter that she would like to have more actual vocal conversations. Her daughter replied that she feels that texting gets to the point of the communication faster. My friend said she misses hearing her daughter's voice. My friend views this as her daughter desiring to control the flow of communication. Never having met her daughter, she lives many states away, I don't know if she has control issues where her mother is concerned. I don't own a cellphone, so I have no experience with texting or the reasons it might be a preferred mode of communication.

So my question is: Is a person who prefers texting over an actual vocal conversation trying to "control" the flow of a conversation?

Re: A Take on Texting

pinkskates4 — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:04:58 GMT

Maybe it's controlling the flow, but have you ever tried getting off the phone with someone who would not stop talking - or who did not care that they were interrupting you? That's controlling too - and maybe what the daughter is reacting against.

Re: A Take on Texting

Feline Fine — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:07:39 GMT

That "controlling" is a possibility.

The person also may be a 'my way or the highway' -type. Or, both mom and daughter could have control issues.

Maybe a nice compromise would be e-mailing, with their preferences of texting and phone call contact just an every now and then thing.

I would think that the mom would be happy that they still connect in the first place.

Re: A Take on Texting

straykatz — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:07:50 GMT

My DD prefers texting too.....I don't think it is a way to control the flow of conversation...sometimes it's just a quick message or question.....when it's more than that then we talk but for quick little things she finds it easier than calling.

Re: A Take on Texting

DoneTryin — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:08:10 GMT

It sounds like it to me. Texting is fine for short, to the point conversations, such as "meet me at Joe's at 8 tonight" but a main component of communication is missing from texting/emailing - tone of voice. That's something that's seen over & over again in these forums, when a poster writes something that's misinterpreted by some readers.

Re: A Take on Texting

deepwaterdotter — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:13:32 GMT

You make some sensible points. I find my friend to be a courteous conversationalist, but I'm sure our chats are less intimate than those she would have with a family member. I do think she misses hearing her daughter's voice as often as she wishes. Maybe it is harder for her to handle the physical distance between she and her daughter.

Re: A Take on Texting

esmerelda — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:16:53 GMT

I don't know about flow or control. Let the daughter text, the mom can call.

Re: A Take on Texting

RibbonsRosesRainbows — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:19:37 GMT

I don't know about control but it seems they don't want to talk much since they are texting.

Re: A Take on Texting

brii — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:21:24 GMT

I don't have texting conversations with my kids. It's just short messages.

Re: A Take on Texting

ID2 — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:24:32 GMT

I have two grown sons. Men don't seem to want to talk much so I find texting with them is a great alternative! I hear from them a lot more than just waiting for them to call me.

Re: A Take on Texting

deepwaterdotter — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:29:02 GMT

On 7/18/2014 ID2 said:
I have two grown sons. Men don't seem to want to talk much so I find texting with them is a great alternative! I hear from them a lot more than just waiting for them to call me.

Could be my friend's daughter feels the same way.

Re: A Take on Texting

CouponQueen — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:32:15 GMT

Heck I don't think so..I would rather shoot off a text myself!

Re: A Take on Texting

Bird mama — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:40:20 GMT

deepwaterdotter - I have a cell phone. Okay, everyone else laugh and get it out of your system.... it's a flip phone that I had AT&T disable incoming texts to since I don't have a data plan.

I have sat at a picnic table with people who are right across from each other and texted each other during dinner.

I like to hear the human voice because I can tell when something is not right with the person talking to me. I suppose that there are some people who prefer to text so they can get on and off the call so to speak.

Re: A Take on Texting

brewhaha — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:42:11 GMT

Some people are against texting It depends on the con-text.

Re: A Take on Texting

Mama Mia — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:44:33 GMT

I don't text, and like Bird mama, I had mine disabled too, for fear of getting them. All my grands and DD text to each other, so I just have to call them and wait for the message and ask them to call me. This modern age beats me!

my edit

Re: A Take on Texting

NoelSeven — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:44:59 GMT

Texting is preferred by young women, but when you're talking about mother/daughter, there's a problem if the daughter is avoiding phone calls.

Something is going on with their relationship and it isn't good.

Re: A Take on Texting

chickenbutt — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:48:00 GMT

I don't know these people, so I couldn't make the call. But the vibe I get is that she doesn't want to have to 'deal with' the interactive aspect of having a telephone call. So, I guess in that scenario, she would be controlling the communication.

Seems some folks, especially those of the younger ilk, aren't so much into interactions. Everything is a sound bite. To text the mother is just to say 'I kept in touch, so I did my duty' and be done with it.

I doubt if the kid understands the parent's need to hear her voice and have an interactive communication. The kid probably doesn't want to be bothered. Welcome to the 21st century, eh?

Re: A Take on Texting

Bird mama — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:49:30 GMT

You said it Chickenbutt

Re: A Take on Texting

Lipstickdiva — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:53:49 GMT

On 7/18/2014 VCamp2748 said:
It sounds like it to me. Texting is fine for short, to the point conversations, such as "meet me at Joe's at 8 tonight" but a main component of communication is missing from texting/emailing - tone of voice. That's something that's seen over & over again in these forums, when a poster writes something that's misinterpreted by some readers.

This is how I feel too. It's not for long conversations.

Re: A Take on Texting

FUTURE — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 21:02:35 GMT

On 7/18/2014 NoelSeven said:
Texting is preferred by young women, but when you're talking about mother/daughter, there's a problem if the daughter is avoiding phone calls.

Something is going on with their relationship and it isn't good.

I agree. My mom and I text AND call at least 5 days a week. My husband laughs, because he knows I do with both she and my aunt. If I walk in and I'm on the phone, I'll hang up and he will say "mom or (aunt's name)?" and then laughs. it might even just be for 2-3 minutes. Sometimes texting is easier, because it's a simple question, but if we want to talk about how our day is or a certain issue, we call. If the daughter the OP is asking about doesn't pick up or return calls, then something is up, IMO. Either she is hiding something, or her mother drives her crazy on the phone (nags or won't let her go).....that's what I would think was going on, with the info you gave us.