topic Re: delayed reaction? in Community Chat

delayed reaction?

dreamytoo — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 05:05:34 GMT

Do you ever feel like the stuffins' have been knocked out of you?

It has been a rough few months of medical crises with my mom, the last one being a cancer scare. We just got the all clear on Monday thank God...I have been running on adrenaline for the past few months. Tuesday my daughter lost her job, entire site closing down and all positions immediately terminated, she carries the health insurance for her family...

I am also having some issues with feeling disrespected in my own home by my own children - I am sure many of you can relate. So dealing with that can be a bit draining.

Today I accomplished a lot in the morning but finally collapsed on the sofa this afternoon...I am physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted!

can anyone else relate to this...could it be a delayed reaction?

Re: delayed reaction?

Jannabelle — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 05:13:26 GMT

Take care of yourself Dreamytoo.......I know it is tough when you have so much on your plate, but it is a priority if you are going to be there for others.....you sound like a very caring person.

Re: delayed reaction?

dreamytoo — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 05:17:41 GMT

thank you Jannabelle....I have been fine up until today, I don't know what happened.

Re: delayed reaction?

Jannabelle — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 05:23:32 GMT

On 7/17/2014 dreamytoo said:
thank you Jannabelle....I have been fine up until today, I don't know what happened.

Stress just builds, like you said, delayed reaction....I have found out that it is much better to tend to myself as much as I do others, to avoid meltdowns, and resentment.

Re: delayed reaction?

september — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 05:24:49 GMT

Yes! I've had a rough year, too, for a lot of different reasons. I thought I was rather tough, but found myself often bursting into tears. It's stress, of course.

Things are turning for me at last. I hope things get better for you, soon, too.

Re: delayed reaction?

Big Sister — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 10:28:09 GMT

I hope you'll feel better soon. I think you have been running on empty for a long time and now it's catching up with you.

Don't let the kids get away with disrespecting you and make it clear they have crossed the line.

Be consistent.

Re: delayed reaction?

qualitygal — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 10:36:53 GMT

I can relate. Hugs to you. See if you can zero in on just one thing at a time. Otherwise, it's too overwhelming. There's just no way to stop the brain from acting like a freight train sometimes. In honesty, one thing at a time, allows you to address and do your best at a more sane pace. Do it for yourself. Respect at home? Get tough! If you have to ignore some of that to deal w/mom's health, do that, if they're old enough to tend to themselves. (I didn't have that to go through).

Do rest when you can. Do things to help relax when you can. God Bless you and good luck.

Re: delayed reaction?

chrystaltree — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 12:15:00 GMT

You've been under a lot of stress for quite some time now, you are still stressed out. You haven't been eating or resting. Your body is run down. Listen to it and fir now, just take c are of yourself. You have been through a lot with your mom, thank the heavens that she is doing better. I'm a mom too and I know we hurt when our kids hurt but you can't shoulder her problems now. She has a husband, she has friends, siblings perhaps. She has to get her support from others now because you need some time for yourself. Can you get away for a week? A relaxing vacation would help. Be honest with those closest to you, let them know how you feel, what you are going through. Let them know that for a while, you need to slow down for a little while to get yourself back on track.

Re: delayed reaction?

MikafromTopeka — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 13:08:14 GMT

I know how you feel. Yesterday I brought the lawn mower home from the shop after 6 long weeks only to have it make it around the yard twice before it broke down again. We loaded it up and took it right back. Fortunately the head guy was there alone and he fixed it right up. Seems these new gas additives are terrible for small motors.

Then I discover about a half hour before my son has to get up and shower for work last night that our water pump was out again. Luckily I discovered the new toilet we just had put in when our sewer thawed out was running all the water out of the holding tank. Once I got that to stop our holding tank filled up and it's been ok since.

This morning I have to pick up my mother's cremains at 9am and take them to the post office to send them to my brother. He has an appropriate place to keep them in his home until we go to California next year and place her at the cemetery with my father. I'm not looking forward to this at all.

Then at 11am I have an appointment at the bank which should take care of her checking account. We finished out her apartment on Tuesday so after this morning we should be about done with Mom's business......except for the mail that will come in for the next few months and what that brings.

This weekend we have 6 weeks of yard work to catch up on.

I hope you have a good day Dreamy.

Re: delayed reaction?

Madisson — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 14:32:05 GMT

Dreamytoo, yes your body can have a delayed reaction to stress. Actually, the stress has just been building for a period of time, and you have finally reached the point where you can't take anymore, as well as exhausted a lot of your nutrient reserves in your body. You need a break. Another thing is to get some good B vitamins that help with stress. B vitamins are water soluble, so they do not build up in the body.

See if you can get away for at least a few days just to relax. A week would be better. If you are feeling highly agitated, talk to your doctor about a mild tranquilizer.

We all go through times like this. The body and mind can only take so much. Your body and mind are telling you that it's time for a good rest.

Re: delayed reaction?

MikafromTopeka — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 14:51:32 GMT

Oops! To answer your question.....yes, I've had at least two points over the past 6 weeks while losing my mother that my body just gave out sick.

Re: delayed reaction?

Marienkaefer2 — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 15:27:21 GMT

o/p, kaybee, and anyone else in similar situations..... ((hug))

Just keep thinking, "this too shall pass.."

It's hard when you're going through it, but it does get better!...eventually...

Re: delayed reaction?

hckynut — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 17:57:35 GMT

"Today I accomplished a lot in the morning but finally collapsed on the sofa this afternoon...I am physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted!

can anyone else relate to this...could it be a delayed reaction?"

Yes, I can and I have and more times than I care to remember. As an eternal optimist my thoughts are always to believe "this too shall pass", and it always has for me.

Re: delayed reaction?

ivey — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 18:19:08 GMT

My doctor once asked me, "do you ever feel like getting in the bed and just covering up your head?" I said, "YES." He said, "do it. That's your body's way of telling you you need a physical rest from either physical or mental exhaustion."

Then he told me, "the difference in this becoming a problem is when you start doing this day after day all day. Then it has become depression."

Wise words, I thought.

Re: delayed reaction?

ROMARY — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 18:29:47 GMT

Try to get some help around your home. DD can help by doing most of the chores along with your 'disrespectful' children. Laundry, dishes, tidying kitchen, vacuuming, mopping floors, cleaning bathroom, etc. You must tell your family how you feel, and that from now on, they need to help you until you're feeling less stress. Knowing myself (and I've done this) have a list of daily chores hanging on a clip board. With boxes (Mon-Sun) to be checked-off, as chores are completed. If you first make copies, then you can replace the list weekly.

Re: delayed reaction?

ROMARY — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 18:33:02 GMT

p.s. As the boxes/chores are completed (checked off), the kids can each initial their box and check mark, so you will know who did what. Just in case only one child is doing all of the work, then you can encourage the others to help out.

Re: delayed reaction?

NoelSeven — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 19:12:55 GMT

It sounds like what you're talking about is the cumulative effect of prolonged stress.

Stress has a physical component, and when you've had a lot, or one thing after another, it can hit and hit hard.

If, generally speaking, you're in good health, the answer is to make sure to take time out for taking care of yourself. More sleep, healthy food, and hopefully getting someone else to share the burden with you. Moderate exercise, also. Walking is always good.

If you have health issues, it might be worth it to see your MD, because prolonged stress can do damage.

I wish you the best, dreamytoo

Re: delayed reaction?

NoelSeven — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 19:16:57 GMT

ps I sure can relate. Last year, I had prolonged stress from June through December. Serious stuff, including the death of someone I loved like a son.

I have lupus and stress is a big trigger. I ended up in the hospital for five days, just before Christmas.

Re: delayed reaction?

chessylady — Sat, 19 Jul 2014 01:12:51 GMT

I can relate. Numerous Doctor appointments, all turned out well. Plumbing problem, dental problems. Today my aunt in another state called at 5:30 Am to tell me my Uncle passed. She couldn't reach my Dad so I had to be the one to go break the news to my 87 year old Dad. I am so glad one of my brothers can go with my Dad to the funeral. I'm trying to take one day at a time.

Re: delayed reaction?

ROMARY — Sat, 19 Jul 2014 02:15:53 GMT

chesslady: I'm very sorry about the passing of your uncle. Sending you and your dear Dad a hug.