topic Re: Living Alone in Community Chat

Living Alone

BigOrangeKitty — Tue, 08 Jul 2014 17:59:30 GMT

I read a lot of the Kitchen & Food threads and notice many people live alone. I also read the thread about how to fill your time when you live alone. But I was wondering how many people are REALLY alone, no family that checks in on them or visits ..... also, what do you LIKE or DISLIKE about living alone?

Re: Living Alone

Peaches McPhee — Tue, 08 Jul 2014 21:35:38 GMT

Like: making all my own decisions; not having to check in and let someone know when I will be late; down time when I need it.

Don't like: not having a partner to bounce ideas off of; not having someone else to share the workload with; not having someone to go places with (like stores, restaurants) without pre-planning.

Re: Living Alone

BigOrangeKitty — Wed, 09 Jul 2014 00:44:05 GMT

I was thinking mealtimes - eating alone - must be boring.......

Re: Living Alone

kittyfan — Wed, 09 Jul 2014 00:45:03 GMT

Eating alone is a real drag.

Re: Living Alone

cater — Wed, 09 Jul 2014 03:49:17 GMT

The first 12 years after my husband passed away I lived alone. I can't say it was awful because I had so many things that I was involved in that kept me busy. I liked the fact that I could do things at my own pace and when I wanted to. all those years I had family and friends and relatives who all lived close by me, and they were in and out of here all the time.

Re: Living Alone

Pickwickpapers — Wed, 09 Jul 2014 03:52:04 GMT

The good is that you can stay in your pajamas all weekend, eat ice cream for breakfast, watch marathon tv on demand, etc. The bad is that after the first week, it's boring, boring, boring. So the key is to put yourself out there and become involved with life, make friends and make a difference.......

Re: Living Alone

Feline Fine — Wed, 09 Jul 2014 04:49:07 GMT

On 7/8/2014 BigOrangeKitty said:
I was thinking mealtimes - eating alone - must be boring.......

That's what TV shows or movies are for.

Re: Living Alone

sylviahomeatlast — Wed, 09 Jul 2014 04:53:06 GMT

my good friend is downsizing--her husband died 11years ago---she is doing a big girl thing: buying a house by herself--I'm so happy for her

Re: Living Alone

FlowershopGirl — Wed, 09 Jul 2014 19:58:52 GMT

For me, there is no downside. I was married for a short time and it wasn't great.

My personal experience with being alone is good. I come and go as I please. I vacation where I want and enjoy seeing things and doing things on my own. I always can find interesting people to chat with while on vacation so it isn't lonely at all.

I have family and friends that are there to talk to when I want. I have no problem eating alone. I have friends over at times. I have the dogs all of the time and my cat, al who keep me from being really "alone".

But, I've always been independent and sort of a self-entertaining, self-involved person.

Re: Living Alone

colliemom4 — Wed, 09 Jul 2014 21:59:06 GMT

My dad lives alone and hates it. I wonder if women are happier living alone because several of my daughters live alone and have no problem with it.

Re: Living Alone

Financialgrl — Thu, 10 Jul 2014 12:59:46 GMT

I love living alone - and meals alone do not bother me at all. I love my peace and quiet but that does not mean I am a loner. Its actually just the opposite, I travel a LOT with friends. It may be going away for long weekends, cruises, or flying somewhere for a week but even then - everyone gets their own room. I value my privacy very much - want to be able to do whatever I want without having to tiptoe around anyone else's idiosyncracies, my own are enough. If I want to stay up and watch TV I do but if I'm tired, I don't want to have to listen to the TV because someone else wants to watch it. If I don't want to be alone, I make some calls and get into my car and go visit friends, but always returning back home to the quiet that is my home.

The only con I can ever think about living alone in my own case is that if I choke or sustain a fall and hurt my leg and couldn't walk or there is some other emergency, I'm the only one around because I live very rural - my friends all live about an hour away but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Re: Living Alone

Lakk — Fri, 11 Jul 2014 08:30:44 GMT

I suppose it depends on how life was before you were alone, in my case the last 9 years alone have been the best years of my entire life. I can't regret marrying only because I wouldn't have had my 5 boys, DIL's and grandchildren. Alone is wonderful, doing as you please, when you please, how you please with whom you please.

If there ever was a downside it would be silence and a radio or tv takes care of that just fine and I do have kids, friends and neighbors that call daily.

Re: Living Alone

emmysmom — Fri, 11 Jul 2014 12:07:56 GMT

On 7/9/2014 colliemom3 said:
My dad lives alone and hates it. I wonder if women are happier living alone because several of my daughters live alone and have no problem with it.

Yes, I think so. Men are usually taken care of, women do the caring..I live with my dog and my son who is gone most of the time. I was in a very unhappy marriage and feel content and happy now.

Re: Living Alone

spookyghost — Sat, 12 Jul 2014 02:26:18 GMT

On 7/9/2014 FlowershopGirl said:
For me, there is no downside. I was married for a short time and it wasn't great.

My personal experience with being alone is good. I come and go as I please. I vacation where I want and enjoy seeing things and doing things on my own. I always can find interesting people to chat with while on vacation so it isn't lonely at all.

I have family and friends that are there to talk to when I want. I have no problem eating alone. I have friends over at times. I have the dogs all of the time and my cat, al who keep me from being really "alone".

But, I've always been independent and sort of a self-entertaining, self-involved person.

I am so impressed! Being alone scares me. I have been married 25 years and together 30. Very happily. I can't imagine life without him and it scares me to death. I'm very happy for you.

Re: Living Alone

spookyghost — Sat, 12 Jul 2014 02:26:20 GMT

On 7/9/2014 FlowershopGirl said:
For me, there is no downside. I was married for a short time and it wasn't great.

My personal experience with being alone is good. I come and go as I please. I vacation where I want and enjoy seeing things and doing things on my own. I always can find interesting people to chat with while on vacation so it isn't lonely at all.

I have family and friends that are there to talk to when I want. I have no problem eating alone. I have friends over at times. I have the dogs all of the time and my cat, al who keep me from being really "alone".

But, I've always been independent and sort of a self-entertaining, self-involved person.

I am so impressed! Being alone scares me. I have been married 25 years and together 30. Very happily. I can't imagine life without him and it scares me to death. I'm very happy for you.

Re: Living Alone

FlowershopGirl — Sat, 12 Jul 2014 02:53:40 GMT

spookyghost, thank you. My MIL (she is really my ex MIL, but the best thing that came out of my short not good marriage so she's my friend now and I'd never call her my ex anything )

had a similar situation to you. She was married for 37 years and they had a great relationship. He was great and then one day right after they sold their ranch/farm and were planning total retirement and a new house, he died from a serious stroke. She was a mess for a couple of years, it took her time and determination to get through it, and faith in God. After the shock wore off, she was just getting through the day. They did so much together and it really was hard for her. Its a long story but we all got her through the worst and my brother and SIL (who has a huge family) embraced her into our family too. My ex, her only child, actually helped her a lot. He's a good son.

With encouragement, she finally went ahead and built a new house in Valencia, custom built to her liking, she had a really nice cattery built with it and she started volunteering at the shelter helping cats and some dogs. She also she started helping some rescue organizations with funding for vet bills for foster parents and adopters who could take animals and give them care but didn't have money to do it. She was the "money" handler on the ranch so it comes natural to her. Now she is amazingly happy and though she misses him still, she is finally adjusting, traveling with me on occasion, she's adopted several kitties and she is doing really well. Its a process and she would be the first to tell you she totally understands what you're feeling. May you and your DH have many years together. I think you're really blessed to have a wonderful, happy marriage. So, I'm happy for you too!!

Re: Living Alone

151949 — Sat, 12 Jul 2014 02:56:22 GMT

I was a young widow (age 30) and i would not want to ever go through that pain and loneliness ever again.And I had 2 kids to raise. I tell my DH all the time that he is absolutely not allowed to die before me.

Re: Living Alone

Junebug54 — Sat, 12 Jul 2014 21:27:49 GMT

On 7/8/2014 Feline Fine said:
On 7/8/2014 BigOrangeKitty said:
I was thinking mealtimes - eating alone - must be boring.......

That's what TV shows or movies are for.

Feline do you live alone?

Re: Living Alone

spookyghost — Sat, 12 Jul 2014 22:58:25 GMT

On 7/11/2014 FlowershopGirl said:
spookyghost, thank you. My MIL (she is really my ex MIL, but the best thing that came out of my short not good marriage so she's my friend now and I'd never call her my ex anything )

had a similar situation to you. She was married for 37 years and they had a great relationship. He was great and then one day right after they sold their ranch/farm and were planning total retirement and a new house, he died from a serious stroke. She was a mess for a couple of years, it took her time and determination to get through it, and faith in God. After the shock wore off, she was just getting through the day. They did so much together and it really was hard for her. Its a long story but we all got her through the worst and my brother and SIL (who has a huge family) embraced her into our family too. My ex, her only child, actually helped her a lot. He's a good son.

With encouragement, she finally went ahead and built a new house in Valencia, custom built to her liking, she had a really nice cattery built with it and she started volunteering at the shelter helping cats and some dogs. She also she started helping some rescue organizations with funding for vet bills for foster parents and adopters who could take animals and give them care but didn't have money to do it. She was the "money" handler on the ranch so it comes natural to her. Now she is amazingly happy and though she misses him still, she is finally adjusting, traveling with me on occasion, she's adopted several kitties and she is doing really well. Its a process and she would be the first to tell you she totally understands what you're feeling. May you and your DH have many years together. I think you're really blessed to have a wonderful, happy marriage. So, I'm happy for you too!!

Thank you so much FlowershopGirl that is so kind of you! What a touching story about your MIL. I am so glad she is very happy and enjoying life again. She sounds like a wonderful person.

Re: Living Alone

JeanLouiseFinch — Mon, 14 Jul 2014 23:38:16 GMT

My DH is at O'Hare, about to board a plane for a business trip to France. He'll be back Friday (I don't envy him or how he's going to be feeling next weekend). I'm OK if he has to be gone a few days when he's not far, but I HATE it when he has to fly. So, it's me and the dog keeping each other company the next few days.