topic Re: How would you feel about this scenario? in Community Chat

How would you feel about this scenario?

JustJules — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:06:31 GMT

First let me say, I am trying to be grateful, but at the same time I am a little irked. Today is my birthday, it's been a difficult time for me lately without my dad, and also with no family nearby to celebrate with. My lady friend from the nursing home asked me a couple weeks ago if she and her friend could take me out for lunch on my birthday, so of course I said yes and thought that was very sweet and thoughtful. Originally her mother had said she wanted to take me out because I have taken them out on several occasions, but somehow her mom didn't end up in the equation, it was my friend and one of her friends that I have met. I have run errands for this friend before, going out to pick up some of her groceries and paying for them when she couldn't get out. Anyway, they wanted to take me to IHOP, which is fine, I like their pancakes. It wouldn't be my first choice, but I thought the gesture was sweet, and it would be nice to enjoy their company.

This morning after I have showered and was getting ready, my friend called and said her friend (she refers to her as sister because she used to be a nun), sister can no longer go because her 2 adult nieces are going to be stopping by, but my friend would still like to take me out. I am thinking to myself, that is kind of rude to cancel on someone the morning of their birthday, and couldn't she have told her nieces that she had lunch plans to take someone out for their birthday, so could they come by perhaps an hour later? I mean, lunch at IHOP doesn't take that long, and it's not like we were going out all day. Anyway, I tell my friend that lunch with her would be nice, and she suggests we go a little later and go to Applebee's so I say fine. I asked her if she was sure she still wanted to do this on her own, and we could just go "dutch", but she said no, she wanted to take me out for my birthday. My friend doesn't drive, so I needed to go pick her up, load her walker into my trunk, drive us to the restaurant, but it's a beautiful day and I am looking forward to lunch. We ordered lunch specials, both our entrees were the same price, although she got a senior discount, she had hot tea and I had a lemonade. At one point she asked me if I wanted a margarita, and I said no I was fine with the lemonade. No dessert, nothing fancy. So the bill comes, and it is $34 with tax. I see a look on her face and ask her if I can help. She says yes, she didn't bring enough money. She puts down a $20... not sure how she thought $20 would cover 2 people for lunch with tax and tip??? She has been out to restaurants, so she knows how things are priced. I'm thinking to myself it's a good thing I stopped by the ATM first because I had a feeling this would happen. The waitress had been very sweet and deserved a 20% tip, so I ended up putting in $21. It's not the money, it's the fact that when someone says they want to take you out for a special occasion under the pretense that they are taking you out, it seems odd to end up paying for yourself. When I dropped her back home we hugged, and she said "I hope you enjoyed your birthday lunch." as if she had treated me to the whole thing. I was polite and said I had a very nice time, but the truth is, if I had wanted to take myself out for my birthday (which is essentially what happened) I would have chosen another place and ordered exactly what I wanted, rather than trying to keep things dialed down knowing she has a budget. Perhaps I am just gullible?

I am trying to laugh about it, but this has to rank up there with one of the worst birthday experiences I've had. I would have preferred to stay home, save my money, and watch a movie. It's still a beautiful day, although hot, so I am going to wait awhile and then take Mia to the park and enjoy the afternoon with her.

I'm sure some people will interpret this post as "griping", but I just think it's wrong to invite someone out, pick the place even, and not be prepared to pay for it. What if I hadn't had any money on me, how embarrassing to be washing dishes on my b-day.

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

NoelSeven — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:10:22 GMT

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

Lila Belle — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:11:44 GMT

Just treasure the memory that your new friend wanted to help you celebrate your special day.

Happy birthday.

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

Peaches McPhee — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:15:00 GMT

This would annoy me, too. I understand it is not about the $$, but about the broken promises and the lack of pre-planning. Sorry this happened to you.

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

insomniac — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:15:26 GMT

You received a birthday bonus--a great story worth telling!

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

tansy — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:15:50 GMT

Happy birthday, Jules! Make the most of the rest of your day.

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

Preds — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:16:32 GMT

Well, I want to wish you a happy birthday and yes, it was bad, but you can enjoy a good laugh about it later. We don't eat out and when we do, it's always an experience because we don't know how much prices have changed either. There have many times we've been caught "off guard". Enjoy the "experience" and enjoy the moment. Huggies for your B'day.

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

Mama Mia — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:16:42 GMT

Jules, remember, "it's the thought that counts", and have a Very Happy Birthday!

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

NoelSeven — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:18:03 GMT

Is this an older lady? I'm going by the mention of a walker. I'm thinking she may not be as on top of things as she used to be if she is ill or in pain.

What I would do is chalk it up to a learning experience. The next time she wants to go out with you, make your decision based on the fact that she can't quite get things together as much as you would like.

Let it roll off your back for today... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

How about a little walk this evening to that nearby bar you found not long ago, and treat yourself to something:

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

loveschocolate — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:22:11 GMT

Wow, Jules. I don't know what to say about that fiasco! Happy Birthday and enjoy the park! :-)

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

Preds — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:27:45 GMT

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

momma3gs — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:28:29 GMT

Happy Birthday, Jules, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. I agree, it's not the money, but my comment isn't as generous towards your friend as the others who have posted here. It was rude of the nun to cancel at the last minute (I agree with your take on that) and it was rude of your friend to invite you to lunch on your birthday, choose a place like IHOP and Applebee's (although we'll let that slide), and only bring $20. McDonald's, maybe. But, as some others stated, maybe you'll laugh about this in the future. Maybe.

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

tansy — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:30:32 GMT

Wow, Preds! What a perfect cake pic

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

ive been framed — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:30:48 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

I'd be a bit put off, too, but I'd be grateful it wasn't me needing a walker and at the mercy of someone else having to drive me places and getting things for me. You're such a nice person to do these things for others...

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

Hoovermom — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:33:06 GMT

I am so sorry Jules, especially on your birthday. Enjoy the park and your darling Mia!!

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

nunya — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:33:35 GMT

oy. I'm at the point where nothing surprises me anymore.

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

anisa — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:34:18 GMT

Happy Birthday Jules. Sorry your birthday lunch wasn't as much fun as it could have been. Sometimes people mean well in thought, but their actions fall under "Just doesn't know any better".

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

Preds — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:34:19 GMT

On 6/20/2014 tansy said: Wow, Preds! What a perfect cake pic

Back off woman .... Jules gets the first bite.

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

croemer — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:34:36 GMT

Wow...has she ever eaten at an AppleBee's...anyone would know 20 would never cover 2 lunches and a tip? And wouldn't she have realized she didn't have enough money before ordering while looking at the menu?

Yeah...poor planning on her part and I am sure it took a bit of the pleasure of the experience off. I would have been so embarrassed if I had been her.

I guess I would say...hope she was good company and not let it you down.

BTW: Jules wishing you the best on your birthday...if we lived near by...I would happily take you to oh lets say I-Hop.and maybe 31 Flavors afterwards.

Re: How would you feel about this scenario?

bikerbabe — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:37:07 GMT

Is she elderly? You mentioned a walker. If so, I agree with Noel that even though she has been to restaurants recently her awareness of prices might not be on target, especially adding the price of 2 meals.