topic Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice in Community Chat

Need Wedding Gift Advice

beach-mom — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 16:35:35 GMT

Destination wedding - it's costing us a LOT of money for all of us to get there and stay there - we're still not sure about the final arrangements and what we'll be doing.

Groom is DH's nephew - DD is very close to him (though not geographically - when they do get togerher they have always had fun from the time they were babies - and she is close to his fiancee now too.)

They've been living together 7 years and have built a huge house. They really don't need anything, and she hasn't registered anywhere.

What do you think? I was thinking of just mailing a check to their home before everyone leaves for the wedding. Does $100 sound about right? I'm usually one who likes to get a special wedding gift I think the couple would appreciate, but in this case I'm not sure. I also considered giving them a set of sheets and towels. I really don't know what to do!

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

SnarkyLips — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 16:38:34 GMT

If they haven't registered, they probably don't want anything. Money is the way to go.

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

scotttie — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 16:40:01 GMT

Can you call the nephew's mother? That's what I did recently in a similar situation. I had thought about ordering something online and having it shipped directly to the couple. After talking to his mother I found that they would really prefer the cash.

$100 sounds good to me.

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

missy1 — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 17:23:36 GMT

Mail a check.

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

ahoymate — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 17:53:24 GMT

Destination weddings really R a pain for people unless it's paid for by the bride & groom. Very self centered.

Sending a check seems so cheap, easy way out and uninspired.

I'd ask someone about the expectation.

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

ROMARY — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 18:06:36 GMT

A check or a gift card. ""Perfect""!!

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

Mama Mia — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 18:14:04 GMT

Gift card for $100.00 from me, too,whether I went or not.

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

Preds — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 18:18:07 GMT

Check sounds good. They probably don't need anything and may feel that just your attending is a gift.

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

ROMARY — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 18:19:34 GMT

p.s. I probably wouldn't attend, anyway...........(shame on me)........so I'd send the check or gift card. Probably a gift card.

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

Mom2Dogs — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 22:18:57 GMT

The last two weddings we sent $100.00 checks....never received a thank you...one was last year the other Memorial Day weekend this year.

Have fun at the destination wedding!!!

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

Love my grandkids — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 22:23:01 GMT

Since they have a "huge house" and have lived together 7 years, I'd make a donation to a charity of their choice (ask them) and be done with it. I personally wouldn't give a check to people with a huge house and a destination wedding. But hey that's just me!

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

beach-mom — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 03:50:40 GMT

Thanks for the advice everyone! scottie - I could ask DH's sister, but I know what she will say - anything you want! Every year at Thanksgiving I try to get gift ideas, but it's really hard. We always end up giving gift cards for Christmas, but we try to pick places each family member would appreciate. I think I'm leaning to sending a check. For me personally - and not DH and kids - he's always been special to me. On my side of the family there are no cousins for my kids as my only sibling died when he was young. DH has a large family, but all but DD and the oldest are girls! I really want to see him take his vows, even though seeing them together is nothing new. Thanks again everyone!

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

sunshine45 — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 03:57:15 GMT

cash/check is NEVER a wrong gift and always appropriate for the happy couple. i think it is totally fine to send it before the wedding to their home.

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

ennui1 — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 04:03:17 GMT

It is traditional in Ireland to give a
Newlywed couple a crystal bowl.
Symbolizing Wealth, Health, and Happiness.
Legend has it that as long as the bowl
is safe and secure, the couple will be blessed
with the laughter of children,
the health of a lion,
and coins in their purse.

<center>

ANOTHER CUSTOM
There is also a custom to give a bell. The bell is to be rung at the end of the wedding and later when there are problems in the home the couple are to ring the bell to remind themselves of their wedding day.</center>

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

Mominohio — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 14:52:25 GMT

Since it seem you have a special spot for him, do you have perhaps a family heirloom that could be passed down at this time? Something either from a man in the family (pocket watch, special desk set, cuff links) or something household wise (family bible, grandma's tea set, favorite family recipes made into a nice box or file). This along with the money would let him know how special he is to you all.

Seems like they aren't super young, and probably mature enough to appreciate a family treasure passed down now. I think these make better gifts than anything you could buy.

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

muttmom — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 15:07:41 GMT

When we attended a destination wedding, the couple wanted no presents. They felt just having family and friends attend was more than enough.

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

Lipstickdiva — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 15:30:35 GMT

According to etiquette experts, no gift is required if you attend a destination wedding because of the cost involved for you to attend such event.

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

Love my grandkids — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 19:36:00 GMT

On 6/20/2014 LipstickDiva said:
According to etiquette experts, no gift is required if you attend a destination wedding because of the cost involved for you to attend such event.

That makes perfect sense to me!

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

JustJazzmom — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 19:37:10 GMT

On 6/20/2014 LipstickDiva said:
According to etiquette experts, no gift is required if you attend a destination wedding because of the cost involved for you to attend such event.

Seriously?? Can you drop a source on this?

Re: Need Wedding Gift Advice

Lipstickdiva — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 20:21:23 GMT

On 6/20/2014 JustJazzmom said:
On 6/20/2014 LipstickDiva said:
According to etiquette experts, no gift is required if you attend a destination wedding because of the cost involved for you to attend such event.

Seriously?? Can you drop a source on this?

I'm serious. I was shocked when I read it. I can try and find the source. I read it a couple of months ago.