topic Re: Something I don't understand. in Community Chat

Something I don't understand.

151949 — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:20:48 GMT

My great nephew plays ice hockey all winter and in the summer roller hockey. He is 9 and just finishing up 4th grade. He has school until 3PM and gets off the bus at home shortly after that. He has to be at hockey practice every day from 6 to 8 PM. So they have to leave for practice by 5:30. So he has 2 hours from school until leaving for practice - every day - he has to finish his homework and eat his dinner in that amount of time. His Mom was saying his homework seems to hard and is taking him too long every day and his grades are dropping. she thinks this hockey is extremely important because she thinks he will get a college scholarship from it. She went to the teacher and said she wanted him excused from homework for the remainder of the year so he can concentrate on hockey. This was a few weeks ago. So now it is finals week and he is way behind. Don't parents place any value on their kid's education anymore ? What good does getting a scholarship do anyway if he doesn't get the grades to go to top college? This child attends a private school, if she doesn't value his education - why bother? She is doing the same thing now with his first grade brother now only for him it is football.

Can anyone enlighten me as to why these sports are so all important these days?

Re: Something I don't understand.

NoelSeven — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:23:55 GMT

You've only talked about the mother, is there a father in the picture?

Re: Something I don't understand.

151949 — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:25:45 GMT

The father is even worse than the Mother - he is one of the volunteer coaches!

The Mom is my niece and I dearly love her but I just disagree with her and her DH about this. However, I do keep my opinions to myself. My SIL agrees with me (these are her grandkids) but she too is not saying a lot as I think it is a very touchy subject.

Re: Something I don't understand.

Sidonie — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:25:52 GMT

She is a very poor excuse for a mother imo.

Re: Something I don't understand.

SydneyH — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:26:36 GMT

No teacher is going to 'excuse' a pupil from homework. If he's in 4th grade, he should have no more than 40 to 50 minutes of work per day. He needs to either do his work in the morning, or start skipping practice imo.

Re: Something I don't understand.

NoelSeven — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:27:45 GMT

On 6/7/2014 happy housewife said:
The father is even worse than the Mother - he is one of the volunteer coaches!

Then why are you putting the blame on her, at least in the opening post? We've come further than that, and if he's the coach he may be calling all the shots.

Re: Something I don't understand.

pattypeep — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:28:23 GMT

IMO, I feel that it's sad that kids can't just be kids. They should have rules and restrictions, a few chores, and be expected to give school their best effort. To push children at such an early age for excellence for something that may or may not even be a possibility seems sad. I think it's good to keep them busy so that they hopefully stay out of trouble, but there should be a balance.

Re: Something I don't understand.

sophiamarie — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:30:03 GMT

What kind of teacher listens to the mom and excuses a kid from homework, for the sake of hockey? Wouldn't that reflect badly on her/him as a teacher?

Re: Something I don't understand.

151949 — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:33:13 GMT

On 6/7/2014 SydneyH said:
No teacher is going to 'excuse' a pupil from homework. If he's in 4th grade, he should have no more than 40 to 50 minutes of work per day. He needs to either do his work in the morning, or start skipping practice imo.

The teacher did say no but my niece told her son he doesn't have to do it anymore this year, which is true since there is only one week to go and it is all testing every day. From what I understand kids in private schools must meet certain standards each year for the school to stay accredited so they have a lot of tests at the end of the year. At least that is what my SIL told me.

Re: Something I don't understand.

Rooney1 — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:33:34 GMT

I will say that in my 30 some-odd years of teaching - this is not an uncommon thing. I will also add that sports is not the only thing that takes precedent over learning. Not to mention the expectation of not giving them anything too hard/difficult/challenging, having due dates, or expectations. I am not sure how we are suppose to prepare these young people for life - when expectations are so warped and kids are so pampered.

I could tell you all stories almost on a daily basis that you all just wouldn't believe. But, I won't.

What I will say is that I feel sorry for this kid as he is getting, based on the information given, IMO - a false sense of life and how it works. But, again JMO.

Re: Something I don't understand.

kdgn — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:34:24 GMT

Mom and Dad do not have their priorities straight. I wonder if it's ever dawned on them that one day their sons may tire of their sports and want to quit? Or that it's entirely possible that they will get hurt and unable to continue? How about an academic scholarship?

They have no time to be kids, to enjoy life as a family. They'll soon be burned out and their academics won't be the only things that suffer.

Re: Something I don't understand.

Feline Fine — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:35:21 GMT

I agree re: parents valuing education to a point, and sports are also great, but some kids just learn differently or aren't geared towards "book knowledge".

Knowing and encouraging each child's infinite uniqueness and individual strengths & passions is key.

Re: Something I don't understand.

Rooney1 — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:35:21 GMT

On 6/7/2014 sophiamarie said:
What kind of teacher listens to the mom and excuses a kid from homework, for the sake of hockey? Wouldn't that reflect badly on her/him as a teacher?

The kind of teacher that doesn't have the support of the principal, superintendent, school board, etc. Unless a teacher gets strong administrative support - they are very powerless.

Re: Something I don't understand.

Marienkaefer2 — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:37:29 GMT

On 6/7/2014 sophiamarie said:
What kind of teacher listens to the mom and excuses a kid from homework, for the sake of hockey? Wouldn't that reflect badly on her/him as a teacher?

I agree. And if he is really excused from all homework, how does that sit with the rest of the students in the class (and their parents)?

Re: Something I don't understand.

Sunarrow685 — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:38:32 GMT

On 6/7/2014 twopeas said:
IMO, I feel that it's sad that kids can't just be kids. They should have rules and restrictions, a few chores, and be expected to give school their best effort. To push children at such an early age for excellence for something that may or may not even be a possibility seems sad. I think it's good to keep them busy so that they hopefully stay out of trouble, but there should be a balance.

I agree 100%. Very well said, twopeas.

Re: Something I don't understand.

SydneyH — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:39:07 GMT

On 6/7/2014 happy housewife said:
The teacher did say no but my niece told her son he doesn't have to do it anymore this year, which is true since there is only one week to go and it is all testing every day. From what I understand kids in private schools must meet certain standards each year for the school to stay accredited so they have a lot of tests at the end of the year. At least that is what my SIL told me.

Wow HH, I don't know what to say. I have one in public, and one in private and I would never in a million years dare to excuse them from what they are supposed to be doing in school. Normally though if they are going through the state tests, they may not have the same load of home-work, but still, the mother should not be challenging this.....

Re: Something I don't understand.

151949 — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:40:44 GMT

On 6/7/2014 Rooney1 said:
I will say that in my 30 some-odd years of teaching - this is not an uncommon thing. I will also add that sports is not the only thing that takes precedent over learning. Not to mention the expectation of not giving them anything too hard/difficult/challenging, having due dates, or expectations. I am not sure how we are suppose to prepare these young people for life - when expectations are so warped and kids are so pampered.

I could tell you all stories almost on a daily basis that you all just wouldn't believe. But, I won't.

What I will say is that I feel sorry for this kid as he is getting, based on the information given, IMO - a false sense of life and how it works. But, again JMO.

We frequently see kids visiting their grandparents in Florida for a week or more at a time right in the middle of the school term. It boggles my mind that kids are being taught a vacation is more important than going to school. No wonder people are always calling off sick from work when they are not sick.

Re: Something I don't understand.

Rooney1 — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:45:57 GMT

On 6/7/2014 happy housewife said:
On 6/7/2014 Rooney1 said:
I will say that in my 30 some-odd years of teaching - this is not an uncommon thing. I will also add that sports is not the only thing that takes precedent over learning. Not to mention the expectation of not giving them anything too hard/difficult/challenging, having due dates, or expectations. I am not sure how we are suppose to prepare these young people for life - when expectations are so warped and kids are so pampered.

I could tell you all stories almost on a daily basis that you all just wouldn't believe. But, I won't.

What I will say is that I feel sorry for this kid as he is getting, based on the information given, IMO - a false sense of life and how it works. But, again JMO.

We frequently see kids visiting their grandparents in Florida for a week or more at a time right in the middle of the school term. It boggles my mind that kids are being taught a vacation is more important than going to school. No wonder people are always calling off sick from work when they are not sick.

You all just really have no idea what really goes on with this type of things... It really is mind boggling...

Re: Something I don't understand.

terrier3 — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:46:57 GMT

My ex was in the NHL, was on a Stanley Cup winning team, and coached Junior A hockey to a national title. He quit coaching because of the parents and their attitudes.

As a Junior A coach, his goals were to win...but more importantly, prepare the teens for college hockey and/or the NHL Draft.

The chances of making it to the pros is VERY small. The chance of getting a scholarship is also small - and grades are taken into account.

Patrick Kane, a local talent, was always considered to be a long shot because of his size. He left home and HS in his teens to play out of state on a junior team, and the rest is history. But he is one in a million.

If he can't handle both school and a travel team at age 9 - he needs to cut back on the hockey, IMO. Mom isn't doing him any favors.

BTW - Good COACHES stress the importance of school studies and homework too - at every level of youth hockey.

My son wanted NO part of hockey...he quit by age 9 - he was constantly being compared to his father and didn't like it. His dad supported him 100% and always told him he needed to be his own man and find his own dream. His younger half brother got a college hockey scholarship, got try outs with some very minor teams and never caught on. His head was messed up for years after that...he was so sure that if he worked hard enough he would be better than his father and become an NHL All Star...he even gave interviews and said that!

It takes a lot more than working hard to be a college hockey player or a pro. It takes innate talent, a certain body type and a lot of luck too - concussions can end hockey careers and so can other injuries.

Re: Something I don't understand.

nunya — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:53:38 GMT

2 hrs of daily hockey practice is excessive for 4th grade.