topic Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you? in Community Chat

Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

Shorty2U — Sat, 24 May 2014 01:52:27 GMT

Sometimes my husband is so passive. Hes a dear but passive and it bugs me at times.

We live in a country development. 2 cars fit between our mailbox and the neighbors mailbox comfortably. If you pull down or up any further you block mailboxes and then you don't get mail.

Well our neighbors who have FIVE cars for TWO people park their one piece of junk car in the middle and leave it there for months and months (because they have 5 cars and don't drive this one much).

So my DH has to park in front of the mailbox when he gets home and watch for the mailman and go out for the mail. IF we are taking our other car (which is in the driveway), he has to keep moving the other one so we get our mail while we are out.

So he is off this week so he parked the car he uses for work right behind our mailbox so they can put their car behind us making 2 cars between our mailboxes as that's what fits.

Well now they moved their junk car ON our car bumper as in its touching and scraping our bumper!, and put another car behind their junker. SO there are not 2 cars between mailboxes there are 3. (our 1 and 2 of theirs).

They think theyre smart. First they are the same people I had to report for throwing butts on our lawn (worrying of fire). They stopped for awhile now theyre throwing butts again. Plus all summer they will do fireworks in the field. Not just on the 4th of July ALL summer on weekends after 10 PM. (I reported that too). All to NO avail!

Now they are on our car bumper. Im SO sick of them. No one around here talks to anyone either, except the one on the other side of us who are very nice. Everyone else here are all a bunch of snobs. I tried being friendly waving saying hello etc. But nope. So I GAVE UP years ago.

DH and I are quiet and dont bother anyone so I dont know why they do this stuff. But I used to live in the city where people were friendly. So I am not used to this.

When I mentioned that car issue to my DH he says who cares if theyre on our bumper, who cares if they throw butts, who cares what they do that I am complaining over nothing, and this is why I have high blood pressure! lol.

Lastly even people who visit us comment that their junker car is always parked there. lol. My grandkids see the cig butts and tell me. (I even gathered them and threw them on their property & I thought about buying them an ashtray!) And I hear the fireworks all summer. But DH just lets things go.

Moving is not an option (I wish), so Im ready to take our 1 car and park it in front of their house for months and see how THEY like it. But I KNOW my husband will move it due to possible confrontation. (He doesn't even blow the car horn when driving if someone cuts him off. lol. Me I blow the horn AND YELL).

I was telling my friend and she said she would take our car and back it into theirs and slam it and say oooops. sorry didn't know you were on our bumper!. lol. (But that I wouldn't do).

Are YOU passive? Would you just let this go because its JUST nit picking?

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

MickD — Sat, 24 May 2014 01:57:39 GMT

I would have a frank talk with your neighbors in a nice way...both you and your DH should go over with a cake/snack whatever. If they continue to do what they are doing, then call the police....

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

occasionalrain — Sat, 24 May 2014 01:57:43 GMT

Your husband has a lot to put up with so leave him alone where the neighbors are concerned.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

Bird mama — Sat, 24 May 2014 01:59:06 GMT

My DH was more easygoing than me and sometimes that got on my nerves. Maybe I was sweating the small stuff, I don't know.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

MurphiesLaw — Sat, 24 May 2014 02:00:50 GMT

Why don't you say or do something, you live there too. If you belong to a HOA, take pictures, send a note and to the president. If you live in a municipality, send the photos to them along with a letter.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

tansy — Sat, 24 May 2014 02:03:24 GMT

You say that moving is not an option but I'd figure out how to move to a home that worked better for my back and, hopefully, find better neighbors. I wouldn't want my husband arguing with the neighbors but I watch too many true crime shows:-/

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

Irshgrl31201 — Sat, 24 May 2014 02:06:38 GMT

My husband is a very nice social person. He treats people really well. Having said that he is not a door mat and doesn't let people walk all over him. He would have said something about this. I don't want an overly aggressive man who starts fights over nothing but I don't want a man who can't speak his mind and speak up when he feels he is being taken advantage of. There is a happy medium. I would feel a little bothered if my husband didn't speak up in this situation but I do realize everyone is different. We are friends with the couple where the husband is super easy going like this and it works for them because the wife is the one who speaks up in these matters.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

VanSleepy — Sat, 24 May 2014 02:07:21 GMT

Don't both of your cars fit in your driveway? Why does your husband HAVE to park in front of the mailbox? Edited to say I reread and missed that they park in the middle of 2 spaces.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

occasionalrain — Sat, 24 May 2014 02:08:33 GMT

On 5/23/2014 tansy said: You say that moving is not an option but I'd figure out how to move to a home that worked better for my back and, hopefully, find better neighbors. I wouldn't want my husband arguing with the neighbors but I watch too many true crime shows:-/

You are right about that. It's not uncommon for a neighbor v neighbor argument ending in one dead and the other in jail.

No one needs to have neighbors retaliating.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

brewhaha — Sat, 24 May 2014 02:11:06 GMT

We had that same situation about three years ago. So one day my DH went out to write down the license plate number because he was going to call the police and have it towed. But our neighbor saw him doing that so they moved their car and we haven't had a problem since.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

Marp2 — Sat, 24 May 2014 02:11:42 GMT

If the neighbor's junk car is truly junky and they don't drive it very often remove the tags then report it as an abandoned car.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

VanSleepy — Sat, 24 May 2014 02:19:08 GMT

On 5/23/2014 Marp2 said:
If the neighbor's junk car is truly junky and they don't drive it very often remove the tags then report it as an abandoned car.

Are you serious? Sorry can't tell.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

Tribesters — Sat, 24 May 2014 02:22:10 GMT

That would bother me a lot. I sympathize & don't understand why people can't be more considerate. Maybe you should consider parking in front of your neighbors mailbox? Maybe then they'll get the hint? Probably your hubby's easy going approach is best in the long run. There was a similar ongoing dispute in a town near me. It was very much like what you described- parking issues, littering, etc... After years of battling back & forth it ended tragically in a murder/suicide. Be careful.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

FUTURE — Sat, 24 May 2014 03:00:15 GMT

On 5/23/2014 Irshgrl31201 said:
My husband is a very nice social person. He treats people really well. Having said that he is not a door mat and doesn't let people walk all over him. He would have said something about this. I don't want an overly aggressive man who starts fights over nothing but I don't want a man who can't speak his mind and speak up when he feels he is being taken advantage of. There is a happy medium. I would feel a little bothered if my husband didn't speak up in this situation but I do realize everyone is different. We are friends with the couple where the husband is super easy going like this and it works for them because the wife is the one who speaks up in these matters.

Your hubby is just like mine. He doesn't like to rock the boat, but he will if he has to!! Shorty, I would have to seriously consider moving, if they don't fix things if you address it. When I come home, I don't want stress. There are enough stressors in the world -- you don't need them in the form of invasive, rude, thoughtless, nasty neighbors!!

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

MurphiesLaw — Sat, 24 May 2014 03:02:34 GMT

On 5/23/2014 VanSleepy said:
On 5/23/2014 Marp2 said:
If the neighbor's junk car is truly junky and they don't drive it very often remove the tags then report it as an abandoned car.

Are you serious? Sorry can't tell.

I think she's serious because this actually works.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

Shorty2U — Sat, 24 May 2014 03:06:11 GMT

Only one car fits in our driveways here. We all have 1 car garages but rarely use them b/c they are small and we scraped our new car putting it in the garage. (we have 2 cars)

Their car had a red sticker once because someone reported it. (It wasn't us don't know who did it). Maybe they thought it was us and this is why they do this?

I did speak to the neighbors about the cig butts. It continued, and I had to call cops, it stopped for awhile now continued. (Same w fireworks).

I say we should put our car there and they will get the message. He says who cares let it go. I wouldn't call him a door mat. A door mat is someone who lets people use them. No one uses him. The people here are just plain rude. I would say he is passive in that he doesn't let anything bother him or like confrontation. (and he has low blood pressure and I don't so maybe hes right).

Cant move, he is the only one working. He built this home. Homes now days are triple our mortgage or believe me we would move (due to the neighbors and my back -Id like a one floor home!)

Anyway I just wanted to know if anyone would let this bother them or do you let things go? Because maybe my husbands right and I DO get too worked up over things.

Thanks for your input, I appreciate it. I guess I should be glad my husband is calm. My first husband was the exact opposite as in a loud mouth bossy person. The 2nd time around I didn't want someone like that.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

VanSleepy — Sat, 24 May 2014 03:07:40 GMT

On 5/23/2014 MurphiesLaw said:
On 5/23/2014 VanSleepy said:
On 5/23/2014 Marp2 said:
If the neighbor's junk car is truly junky and they don't drive it very often remove the tags then report it as an abandoned car.

Are you serious? Sorry can't tell.

I think she's serious because this actually works.

OK thanks. It sounds to me like vandalism and making a false police report, that's why I asked. I guess I am missing something.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

foundinlv — Sat, 24 May 2014 03:09:41 GMT

If your city has a Code Enforcement Officer, I would call and see what they think. They'll come out and take a look and if necessary put a note on the car and tell them to move it in x number of days or it will be towed. The neighbors don't have to know who called plus Code Enforcement is pretty discreet; they're not going to tell them who phoned.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

ROMARY — Sat, 24 May 2014 03:11:47 GMT

I've watched too many 48 Hours and Dateline real life episodes. And then, there are all of the 'fiction' shows which in reality have occurred in real life. I wouldn't say/do anything. Maybe nicely mention it when everyone is out front in a good mood? But, knowing myself, I wouldn't.

Re: Are you passive or not? Would this bug you?

MurphiesLaw — Sat, 24 May 2014 03:14:43 GMT

On 5/23/2014 VanSleepy said:
On 5/23/2014 MurphiesLaw said:
On 5/23/2014 VanSleepy said:
On 5/23/2014 Marp2 said:
If the neighbor's junk car is truly junky and they don't drive it very often remove the tags then report it as an abandoned car.

Are you serious? Sorry can't tell.

I think she's serious because this actually works.

OK thanks. It sounds to me like vandalism and making a false police report, that's why I asked. I guess I am missing something.

You're welcome. I've read a lot of cases where people who've stored cars on their property for friends or family, and asked them repeatedly to come and remove their property. After months or years and no removal, they either drive it or have it taken to a public road without tags and then call the police.