topic Re: Baby shower question? in Community Chat

Baby shower question?

mima — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 17:57:21 GMT

I got invited to a baby shower. The invite came from the mom to be. On the invitation it doesn't mention any hosts names. It only has the place and time on it and it is for "Mary". It is being held at the public library which I thought was really strange too.

Is this proper? Now days I never know.

Not that it matters, just wondering.

Re: Baby shower question?

deepwaterdotter — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 18:15:28 GMT

The library in my town rents out the conference rooms for private events.

Re: Baby shower question?

circles — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 18:33:24 GMT

things are so different now days....

go and have a nice time....get the new baby something cute...

Re: Baby shower question?

muttmom — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 18:34:42 GMT

That is an odd invitation. Is she having a girl and decided on the name Mary?

Who knows what is proper?

Re: Baby shower question?

JeanLouiseFinch — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 18:37:58 GMT

Baby showers are a lot different nowadays from how they used to be. Back in the day, you never heard of the mom-to-be being involved in the party planning. As for the library, our local library will let you use conference rooms for special gatherings so that's legit.

Re: Baby shower question?

151949 — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 18:42:02 GMT

Maybe she didn't have anyone to give her a shower so she is giving herself one. Maybe those who wanted to have one were not what she wanted (you know how off the grid people can get now a days.) so she decided to do it herself. If she is someone you would like to share this day with go, have a good time and buy something nice for her.

Re: Baby shower question?

Clover29 — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 18:46:59 GMT

I grew up in England where baby showers don't exist. People just buy nice things for baby after the birth (the new parents and grandparents buy the urgent things, everyone else just helps out with extras). So much less complicated, when the new Mom has such a lot on her plate already.

Re: Baby shower question?

lulu2 — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 18:48:53 GMT

I can honestly say I've never received a shower invitation from the mother-to-be.

If it is a close friend or relative and it were convenient, I'd go. (although I am not fond of showers) If not, I'd send a gift.

I do think it is odd for a woman to host her own baby shower. Surely if she feels she knows people well enough to invite (which is asking for a gift) there must be someone who could host the shower.

Re: Baby shower question?

missy1 — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 18:54:42 GMT

I have never been to a shower where the mom 2 be hosts it herself. She probably didn't want it at her home. Libraries have conference rooms, no kitchen use..

Re: Baby shower question?

Emma bunting — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 18:58:05 GMT

I have never know anyone to throw themselves any kind of shower. How sad if she had no one to do this for her.

Re: Baby shower question?

terrier3 — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 19:31:21 GMT

I thought you are never supposed to throw a party for yourself...

It's soliciting for presents and cash. Tacky!

Re: Baby shower question?

game-on — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 20:29:31 GMT

Mima.... what do you think? Do you know her? Do you want to go?

Re: Baby shower question?

Love my grandkids — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 21:05:29 GMT

If I knew the person and wanted to go, I would, regardless of who is hosting it. But that's just me.

Re: Baby shower question?

JustJules — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 21:16:05 GMT

What difference does it make who is hosting it or where it will take place? If you care about her and want to participate, attend, take the baby a nice gift to celebrate, and enjoy yourself. Perhaps she has no friends that offered to throw her a shower, which would be very sad, but doesn't mean she isn't entitled to throw herself a celebration. You should feel honored that you were invited. I don't think there is anything proper or improper about having the party at a library. Maybe it was the only place she could find with room available, and they probably don't charge to use the space. I once hosted a baby shower for one of my girlfriends, and at the time I lived in a 2 bedroom condo, so there was definitely not enough room for lots of people. I used our complex recreation facility, and while I had to do some tidying up to make it "presentable", it was a large space and everyone was more focused on the mom-to-be and the decorations and food, and we all had a fun time. Hope "Mary" has a very healthy baby and enjoys the celebration.

Re: Baby shower question?

ROMARY — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 21:17:41 GMT

Maybe the mom-to-be doesn't have anyone to give her a baby shower . Maybe she needs a few items, and wanted to share her excitement for her baby. I would go, for sure. Bring a cute gift. Enjoy the day. Our libraries around here have become a place for kids to go after school until their moms pick them up after work. At least its a safe place for kids to be, and hopefully they are doing their homework there.

Re: Baby shower question?

bells4me — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 21:19:07 GMT

I usually don't attend showers. I just send a gift when the baby is born, usually a hand made blanket or outfit.

Re: Baby shower question?

ROMARY — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 21:20:50 GMT

Enjoy the day, and be happy for the mom and wish the baby good health. The mom, I'm thinking, could use a few baby items. Sorry that she doesn't have anyone else to give her a shower (tears right now). Make it a wonderful day for her, and give her plenty of hugs, too!

Re: Baby shower question?

JustJules — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 21:21:49 GMT

On 4/27/2014 terrier3 said:
I thought you are never supposed to throw a party for yourself...

It's soliciting for presents and cash. Tacky!

terrier, with all due respect.... "Mary" isn't throwing a party for herself, the celebration is for her baby. Who knows what that woman's situation is, and how sad if she has no friends that offered to host a baby shower for her. I don't find it tacky at all, the gifts aren't for her per se, they will be for the baby to come, and what mother-to-be doesn't deserve to be pampered or feel special? It wouldn't make any difference to me, even if the invitation said the baby was hosting the party... if it was someone I cared about, I would attend, take a nice gift in celebration, and enjoy myself.

Re: Baby shower question?

Vamp — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 21:25:21 GMT

Seems odd to me.

The thing that I think is "wrong" with throwing yourself a party in which presents are expected is it is the equivalent to asking for a handout. If you want to give her a gift to celebrate the arrival of the baby, do it; I would if the person were a good friend of mine (regardless of the invitation). But personally I think it is tacky to ask for gifts. JMHO.

The locale also is odd to me, but since I know nothing about that specific library, I can't really say. All I know is the libraries I have been to have conference rooms for meetings and classes but they aren't really a festive venue for a party, nor do they have any facilities for preparing or cleaning up food--but again, I know nothing about that specific library. I have been to parties at rec rooms in a condo community as Jules describes as well as in a restaurant but never a library. I'm not judging the facilities, but since you ask, it does seem peculiar.

Re: Baby shower question?

terrier3 — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 21:28:15 GMT

On 4/27/2014 Jules5280 said:
On 4/27/2014 terrier3 said:
I thought you are never supposed to throw a party for yourself...

It's soliciting for presents and cash. Tacky!

terrier, with all due respect.... "Mary" isn't throwing a party for herself, the celebration is for her baby. Who knows what that woman's situation is, and how sad if she has no friends that offered to host a baby shower for her. I don't find it tacky at all, the gifts aren't for her per se, they will be for the baby to come, and what mother-to-be doesn't deserve to be pampered or feel special? It wouldn't make any difference to me, even if the invitation said the baby was hosting the party... if it was someone I cared about, I would attend, take a nice gift in celebration, and enjoy myself.

I agree that if it was a close friend, I would go - in fact I would probably throw the shower for her myself if she had no one else to help her out!

But this poster doesn't seem to know much about the mom or why the party is at a library...and it seems strange she would be asking US about it - unless this was a very casual acquaintance.