topic Re: Have you ever successfully changed? in Community Chat

Have you ever successfully changed?

optio100 — Fri, 28 Mar 2014 03:00:54 GMT

I'm putting together some material for work/school, and thinking about my own life, and I was hoping others might have their own story to share...

We all struggle with different things. Maybe financial, emotional, social life or appearance or any other issue. And most of us know what it takes to change, but not many do. This is one well-informed bunch of ladies here, but have any of you ever changed something that you struggled with for a long time? I don't mean something that takes a short time, but something that required you to really be a different person than you were before, day in and out, and have had a more successful life because of it.

I think many others would benefit if you shared your journey - what made it happen, and what kept it happening. As an example, I struggle with keeping up the paperwork in the house - bill-paying, record organizing, etc. I know life would be better if I could handle it better, but it's sooo hard for me to get a handle on it. Of course there are other things, too, and I'm getting to an age where it's a shame to waste time.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to hear that some people really do improve their lives?

Re: Have you ever successfully changed?

Puzzle Piece — Fri, 28 Mar 2014 15:59:01 GMT

I think so. Did a lot of unlearning and releasing. Life can be real, real, good.

Re: Have you ever successfully changed?

sfnative — Fri, 28 Mar 2014 17:25:29 GMT

There was one huge thing I changed about myself and felt I had to due to a health issue.

I have chronic migraine which started in August of 1984; e.g., have had the same headache for nearly 30 years. It varies in intensity per day. Sometimes I go 90 days with dreadful intensity. Many medications have been tried and am presently on a drug that works most of the time. I took another drug for 12.5 years which caused kidney damage, but was a great drug. Darn!

So...about 18 years ago I decided that I had to modify my "intensity." By that I mean that I've always been an intense person with a fair amount of adrenalin flowing. This is not only not good for ones health, it can be destructive. So I decided I needed to dial myself down several levels. This was a difficult self-assginment, as basically my goal was to change who I was to a certain extent. It was difficult and took much perserverance; however, I feel that I've had less bad migraine days due to intensity change made.

Goal achieved! (And my DD noticed it, too!)

Re: Have you ever successfully changed?

RedTop — Fri, 28 Mar 2014 17:43:05 GMT

Yes, I feel retirement, and the change of my priorities, has truly changed me for the better. Months before my retirement, I started decluttering my house while recovering from knee replacement surgery. In the beginning it was an effort to get rid of unnecessary things that had been allowed to pile up; whether it was mail I had promised to take a second look at, or magazines with an article I said I'd read later, it went out the door by one route or another. I made a great start on the project while I was on medical leave, but continued the project on bigger levels as the months passed, and I retired. Retirement gave me more time to dive in on a bigger scale, so I have made second rounds on things I uncovered and wanted to think about in the first round of decluttering. Releasing and letting go of "things" has been a true mental exercise for me, and it has helped bring a newfound freedom to my life.

Just this week I have made a decision to let go of a commitment I made 37 years ago that I no longer enjoy. I realize my commitment to the project needs to be more financial now, and not so much hands on, and I attribute my change in feelings to the de-cluttering efforts I have been making in my life and home over the last 2 years. The ability to release "things" in my life has given me a freedom to look at, and feel things differently, and be able to accept needed changes. Because of my OCD, I have always been a micro-manager of everything. Now that I'm retired, I realize I am trading precious minutes of my life for whatever I'm doing, and therefore it is much easier to let go of the things I am not enjoying, that are weighing me down. Once I get out from under this hands-on obligation, I will truly feel I have made a huge improvement to my life.

Re: Have you ever successfully changed?

Group 5 minus 1 — Sun, 30 Mar 2014 23:05:32 GMT

into what?

Re: Have you ever successfully changed?

Snowpuppy — Sun, 30 Mar 2014 23:47:17 GMT

Several things.

I learned to give people's problems back to them to solve.

Seriously, have you ever spent hours on the phone with your friend, sister, mom, etc only to learn that later on in the week the issue either resolved itself or they are back, embroiled in the same issue, over and over? With compassion, I let these people go. They don't really want to fix anything, they just want to whine. And staying up half the night wasn't helping them or me.

I got a handle on my finances. I FINALLY learned how to save, spend, invest, etc. It took years and many mistakes. I also quit "lending" money to friends/relatives who were irresponsible year after year. I let go of these people too and they can find payday loans on every corner.

Health & fitness......I get a handle and then it slips so that I need to work on.

Re: Have you ever successfully changed?

TaxyLady — Sun, 30 Mar 2014 23:50:06 GMT

My life changed when I accepted Jesus as my Savior. I started applying biblical principles to my life. I started trusting the Lord instead of trusting my own feelings or my way of doing things.

Things changed drastically especially my finances and health. I don't worry about the future because it is in His hands.

I think changing on your own is very hard without knowing the love of God and surrendering your life to Him.

Re: Have you ever successfully changed?

jeanlake — Mon, 31 Mar 2014 00:50:03 GMT

On 3/30/2014 Snowpuppy said:
Several things.

I learned to give people's problems back to them to solve.

Seriously, have you ever spent hours on the phone with your friend, sister, mom, etc only to learn that later on in the week the issue either resolved itself or they are back, embroiled in the same issue, over and over? With compassion, I let these people go. They don't really want to fix anything, they just want to whine. And staying up half the night wasn't helping them or me.

I got a handle on my finances. I FINALLY learned how to save, spend, invest, etc. It took years and many mistakes. I also quit "lending" money to friends/relatives who were irresponsible year after year. I let go of these people too and they can find payday loans on every corner.

Health & fitness......I get a handle and then it slips so that I need to work on.

Your comments are inspiring, snowpuppy, thank you!

Re: Have you ever successfully changed?

jeanlake — Mon, 31 Mar 2014 00:53:39 GMT

Taking on an attitude of thankfulness and gratitude changed my personality, outlook and life direction. When I pray, I like to make sure 50 percent of the prayer includes gratitude. It's not a rule, but good formula for me personally. A reminder of my blessings. Neville Goddard, 1940s, quote -- A change of attitude is a change of destiny.

Re: Have you ever successfully changed?

JamicaJammer — Mon, 31 Mar 2014 01:26:54 GMT

I have become a ** MUCH ** less strict parent.

I was not sensitive enough to my oldest son's emotional needs, IMHO, looking back. He's now 37 and I'll never live long enough to forgive myself for not being more sensitive.

I wasn't mean, but just too strict.

Re: Have you ever successfully changed?

GCR18 — Mon, 31 Mar 2014 01:34:35 GMT

I've worked on changing two different areas. The first area is giving into things I didn't want to do. If someone wanted to go somewhere and I didn't, I'd go. Now I only go if I really want to. This was a big change for me and people were shocked at first when I'd say no.

The second area is finances. Years of irresponsible spending, put me in a bad place. I have minor setbacks, but I've learned to control wants versus needs. This is a work in progress, but I've made great strides in the right direction.

Re: Have you ever successfully changed?

karil — Wed, 02 Apr 2014 19:20:56 GMT

Similar to what JamicaJammer said -- my parenting has changed. My 2 kids are 15 years apart, so I can't take credit for making changes -- some change came with the age/experience/years -- but I can say that I've learned that being less strict can open up relationships and nurturing.

Re: Have you ever successfully changed?

optio100 — Wed, 02 Apr 2014 23:50:56 GMT

I'd like to thank those of you who have responded. Change is a deep issue, so deep that we often (at least me) walk through day after day doing things that don't improve our situation, even though we know better in our conscious moments.

They say that if you do something 21 times it becomes a habit, and just imagine the things we've done for thousands of days. I always say, "If it was easy to do the best things, we'd all be rich, thin, and happily married." Very few are, and I know the ladies on this board are pretty well-informed, but turning that info into our best success in life is next to impossible for most people.

I'd love to hear more, and I thank you all again for taking the time to share your heart. Believe it or not, even writing these posts was an example, for me, of doing something I've thought of often but didn't have the energy, time or nerve to do. Thank you.