topic Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family"" in Community Chat

I'd rather have enemies than "family"

hyacinth003 — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 03:09:48 GMT

My father-in-law passed away 2 1/2 years ago. Since then, the two brothers named Trustees of the Estate have been fighting with each other.

The Estate house was sold in Nov., 2013, after a lengthy legal battle. The funds are being held by an attorney.

These two have racked up at LEAST $80,000 in legal fees that neither one wants to pay. One of them is asking for $10,000 in Trustee fees, after declaring more than once he was not going to do that.

They went to an "arbitration" today instead of court. I would have rather gone to court, but it wasn't my decision! The arbitration costs $850/hour ($300 per attorney and $250 for arbitrator). My husband was on the phone in a conference call for 7 hours listening to this, unable to speak. They all have to pay for this.

They are NOT FINISHED yet. We were told a decision would be rendered today, as the beneficiaries have waited over 2 years for their inheritance.

Now they are told they are not done, nor will a decision be made for 7-10 days. This has been torture on the entire family.

I told my husband I would rather deal with my worst enemy (if I had one) than his family.

Hyacinth

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

Catitude — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 03:11:38 GMT

Is your husband one of the brothers?

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

tansy — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 03:14:24 GMT

I hope the estate is a big one for all this turmoil, Hyacinth. I'm sorry your husband is losing his brothers over this

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

hyacinth003 — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 03:15:01 GMT

On 2/13/2014 Opurrra said:
Is your husband one of the brothers?

Yes, he is. The Will and Trust said they were to share equally among 4 "brothers."

Hyacinth

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

hyacinth003 — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 03:15:39 GMT

On 2/13/2014 tansy said:
I hope the estate is a big one for all this turmoil, Hyacinth. I'm sorry your husband is losing his brothers over this

It has split all for good.

Hyacinth

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

tansy — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 03:16:37 GMT

On 2/13/2014 hyacinth003 said:
On 2/13/2014 tansy said:
I hope the estate is a big one for all this turmoil, Hyacinth. I'm sorry your husband is losing his brothers over this

It has split all for good.

Hyacinth

What a shame. I doubt that's what their father envisioned when he made his will.

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

hyacinth003 — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 03:17:00 GMT

On 2/13/2014 hyacinth003 said:
On 2/13/2014 Opurrra said:
Is your husband one of the brothers?

Yes, he is. The Will and Trust said they were to share equally among 4 "brothers."

Hyacinth

He is not a Trustee though. They are his oldest and youngest brother, who lived in the same state as their father.

My husband cannot do anything.

Hyacinth

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

Catitude — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 03:17:10 GMT

On 2/13/2014 hyacinth003 said:
On 2/13/2014 Opurrra said:
Is your husband one of the brothers?

Yes, he is. The Will and Trust said they were to share equally among 4 "brothers."

Hyacinth

I'm sorry he has to suffer like this. It's a similar situation to what my Dad went through with his siblings. After the estate was finally settled he never saw his feuding siblings again.

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

hyacinth003 — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 03:17:38 GMT

On 2/13/2014 tansy said:
On 2/13/2014 hyacinth003 said:
On 2/13/2014 tansy said:
I hope the estate is a big one for all this turmoil, Hyacinth. I'm sorry your husband is losing his brothers over this

It has split all for good.

Hyacinth

What a shame. I doubt that's what their father envisioned when he made his will.

Isn't that the truth. They disgust me.

Hyacinth

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

LyndaGee — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 03:18:41 GMT

Hope everything is resolved to your satisfaction soon. Sounds very upsetting.

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

LucyGoose — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 03:19:20 GMT

Wow, sorry you're going through this, Hyacinth.

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

hyacinth003 — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 03:20:24 GMT

On 2/13/2014 LyndaGee said:
Hope everything is resolved to your satisfaction soon. Sounds very upsetting.

It cannot be to my satisfaction! I would NEVER have done what has been done here.

The best I can hope for is my husband doesn't have to PAY for what THEY have done.

Sometimes they make all the beneficiaries pay for what the Trustees do.

Hyacinth

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

esmerelda — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 03:51:15 GMT

I hope you don't come out worse than you went in.

It's really best to order a property sold at one's death instead of ""leaving"" it to a group. Your situation is proof of that.

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

Qwackertoo — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 04:03:11 GMT

That is so sad. When one of my great uncles died, he left everything to 3 of his closest brothers 4 children. The 3 kids . . . combined shares of theirs and gave to the left out one. And they didn't have to do that either. Sad he left the one out . . . but they took care of it in a very commendable way.

edited to add: and that was over 16 years ago. those 16 years and however many more the 4 siblings have remaining to be family and close to each other is worth way more than the money for sure . . . it wasn't millions but sizable enough . . .

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

rhinovodka — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 04:12:35 GMT

So sorry to hear this. I used to work for a mortuary and death can really bring out the ugliness in people. I don't know much about law, and perhaps this wouldn't be as fair but I think if I were your husband, I would have just disclaimed the inheritance.

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

stevieb — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 04:17:37 GMT

The estate must be huge, given the money they're burning through, or I sure hope so. Yep, agreed, with family like that, at least you kind of know what to expect with enemies...

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

ROMARY — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 04:37:33 GMT

Sometimes it's best to have an honest attorney handle the entire estate. That way, the family 'sticks together'; and, if they have any 'shady' problems with the attorney, they (as a family) can always go to the state legal board for investigation.

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

Lindsays Grandma — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 10:26:49 GMT

Oh my, I remember when all this started and can't believe it is still going on. I'm so sorry for you and your husband, it is so sad that greed can turn a family against one another. Wishing you the best.

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

hyacinth003 — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 19:45:47 GMT

On 2/13/2014 esmerelda said:
I hope you don't come out worse than you went in.

It's really best to order a property sold at one's death instead of ""leaving"" it to a group. Your situation is proof of that.

Oh how I wish that had been done!

I doubt he imagined his ""sons"" would have created this mess.

All it takes is one dishonest person to ruin everything.

Hyacinth

Re: I'd rather have enemies than ""family""

RainCityGirl — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 21:50:16 GMT

Looks to me like they will burn up all their inheritances in legal fees. You can win the battle and still lose the war. Too bad inheritors don't realize that.