topic Re: Loans To Family in Community Chat

Loans To Family

timeless — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 02:13:39 GMT

Have you ever loaned money/things to family?

How did it work out for you?

Re: Loans To Family

MoonieBaby — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 02:25:08 GMT

Yea. A paltry $300.00 to my sister so she could register for a class she was taking but didn’t have the cash for at the time. I was at my parents house for my 29th birthday. They gave me a check for $300, she needed it more than me at the time so I signed it over to her right there. It took her almost a year to repay me. In truth I would give anything I have to her and it’s always been that way. Sadly she doesn’t have the same love in return for me. It’s not me, she is simply a one way street. I’ve come to accept that about her. I still would fight lions for her.
…..And truthfully, would help her out that same way over and over if she needed it. She does not. She is wealthy and lives on the mainline (a very wealthy suburb of Philly).
I live in Philly. A neighborhood in fishtown. You could fit 6 of my home in hers!
If you lend money to someone it’s best to have no expectations as to how or when you will be paid back….. or you might lose your mind.

Re: Loans To Family

nascarfan — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 02:28:19 GMT

I never "loan" money or things, I "gift" them. Loans rarely are repaid, so to keep peace, I find it easier just to make a gift of the request.

Re: Loans To Family

shoekitty — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 02:35:58 GMT

@nascarfan I agree. I never loan money. I either give it, or I don't Loaning money, especially to family or friends is not wise. My Mom did however loan my daughters when they were younger a bit of money. But, she took them to her bank, they wrote up a loan and payments that were binding. If you have a premier acct, the bank will do this for you. That way my daughters made sure to pay it back .lol.

Re: Loans To Family

DSD2 — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 02:48:00 GMT

Years ago, I was in a terrible car accident that I spent many months recovering from. I had just started a new job and lost it as they could not wait for me to return. My mother had died two years previously (yesterday was the 30th anniversary of her death; I miss her so) although I know she would have helped me. We were barely scraping by and as the months passed, it was getting quite scary.

Long story short, I called my father with whom I had a complicated relationship to ask him for a loan. Although wealthy, he turned me down saying his investments weren't doing well.

I vowed then and there that if anyone ever asked me for money, I would never turn them down. I have made it a point to help out friends when I knew they were hurting and would never make them ask.

We made it through and I never held it against my father although it did hurt.

Re: Loans To Family

on the bay — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 03:11:41 GMT

@DSD2,

What an awful time you went through! I'm so glad you made it out ok eventually.

I was thinking one thing my bil told me was I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my father. I thought very true. I loved him but there were not good times either and so I've thought about that. I think he did the best he could.

And we can learn how not to treat people from examples that aren't always the best. You turned it around

Re: Loans To Family

drizzellla — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 03:42:59 GMT

Have "loaned" money to family members. And as @nascarfan said - Consider them as gifts.

We loaned money to my husband's brother for a down payment on his house. And he did pay us back.

But my one brother did pay us back a small portion of what he borrowed. And we told him to forget the rest. He retired a few months ago and has health issues.

The other brother got himself into nasty huge financial troubles. And hit everyone for large sums of money. And to put it nicely he is a snake. And even though he is doing better and living quite comfortable now with brand new truck and renting lovely apartment on many acres - we will never see a penny of the money. Because he will never admit that he was given any money. He won't even help pay for gas when you pick him up for a long trip. Or if you go out to eat as soon as he finds out that we are treating him - he changes his order and orders the most expensive meal on the menu. I told you he was a snake.

So please if you give money/things to anyone don't expect to see it again.

Re: Loans To Family

OKPrincess — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 08:19:50 GMT

It's like going to the casino. Gamble only what you can afford to lose.

Re: Loans To Family

AngelPuppy1 — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 09:14:25 GMT

I did years ago and this family member did pay me back. At other times, when asked to give loans to various family members, I did so. However, I then told them - don't pay me back, just consider this a gift. I never loaned money that I couldn't afford it if they did not pay me back. I didn't want to have possible strained relations with a family member because they didn't pay me back.

Re: Loans To Family

They CallMe MRWILKES — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 10:06:32 GMT

If done, the terms should be clearly put in writing with acknowledgement from both parties.

You want proof when you go to Judge Judy.

Re: Loans To Family

Cats3000 — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 10:13:27 GMT

@timeless Financial experts seem to agree: you NEVER loan money to ANYONE, family, friends, co-workers, etc. You're not a bank or a loan shark or a "loan arranger". If you want to give someone money, do so with the understanding that you probably will not get the money back.

Re: Loans To Family

geezerette — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 11:14:21 GMT

Years ago, yes. Even with it all legally documented it was a disaster and ended up with all parties never speaking again.

Re: Loans To Family

jellyBEAN — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 11:53:48 GMT

@They CallMe MRWILKES wrote:
If done, the terms should be clearly put in writing with acknowledgement from both parties.

You want proof when you go to Judge Judy.

JJ has so many of these cases on her show. There is an old expression, "Neither a borrower nor a lender be".

When it comes to family, it is said, always give/gift. Loans will only create problems if not paid back, and many people who would or need to borrrow money and cannot get it from an outside source, well, theres a reason for that. They have bad credit.

If you do decide to "loan" family $$, if it doesn't get paid back, you have to just let it go.

Re: Loans To Family

Shanus — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 11:56:52 GMT

@nascarfan wrote:
I never "loan" money or things, I "gift" them. Loans rarely are repaid, so to keep peace, I find it easier just to make a gift of the request.

@nascarfan I totally agree. If someone's that close to you to ask for a loan, I'd give them what they need within reason.

Re: Loans To Family

gardenman — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 12:07:54 GMT

You can call it a loan, but you're smarter considering it a gift and assuming you'll never get it back. If it does get repaid, fantastic, if not, well, that's what you expected, so no biggie. I'm owed about five hundred dollars from a nephew who borrowed it a few years ago, and I didn't expect to ever see it again when I loaned it to him, and so far, I've been right.

Re: Loans To Family

Eileen in Virginia — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 12:16:01 GMT

During the pandemic, we gave my nephew money to pay his rent and other expenses. He was a bartender in NYC and his bar was closed temporarily. He didn't ask for the money, but it was clear that he needed some help.

When we bought our house, my in-laws lent us money towards the down payment. My MIL worked in a savings & loan, so she and DH used the bank's calculator to develop a repayment plan that was agreeable to both parties.

Re: Loans To Family

CalminHeart — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 12:17:53 GMT

This is a touchy subject for me.

I've loaned money to family and never really expected it back. It is family but always pleasant when repaid.

My parents were incredible. Mom was my best friend and confidant. Dad was the most understasnding, compassionate, the best dad. I realized whenh young that most kids didn't have a dad like mine. I was truly blessed.

Many years ago, I borrowed money from my parents. I made regular and fairly large-enough-til-it-hurt payments until it was paid back. 20 years later, he made a snide remark about it. It broke my heart. He'd never said anything like that to me in my life. That single comment still sticks with me. Weird and sad that I remember it.

But!! He paid all my sister's bills for 15 years...new car, health & auto insurance, food, clothes, utilities, PT, assisted living, home, etc etc. He even left special fund in his will for her. He never did anything similar for his other 6 kids.

I never said anything to Dad or that sister. I'm sad that I even thought about it when I saw this topic.

I took care of Dad the last 7 years of his life and I'm honored to have been able to do that. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I miss him.

Re: Loans To Family

Estellee — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 12:35:42 GMT

No I never have and no one has asked me either.

Re: Loans To Family

geezerette — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 12:33:42 GMT

When it comes down to it, it really depends on the family.

In some families, whether loan or gift, the gesture can cause resentment from not only the recipient but other family members as well.

In other families, it's appreciated greatly.

Re: Loans To Family

Gabidog — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 12:34:42 GMT

Yes and never again! I paid off my cousins mortgage as a gift, no problem with that but later I bought flooring for her kitchen because she said her son would install. He didn't and she sold the flooring and kept the money. Another time she called in a panic because her refrigerator quit. She went to a local appliance store and selected one and I paid the bill since she said she would pay me back. She never did. When she sold her home she handed $30,0000 to her son rather than giving back $3000 to me for flooring and a fridge. I got nothing but silence! And the son was booked for aggravated dwi. Tough knowing relatives can be creeps!