topic Re: Another wedding gift question in Community Chat

Another wedding gift question

FranandZoe — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:09:04 GMT

How much would you give in this situation? I will be invited to my cousin's granddaughter's wedding. (Already heard from her Mom about it and received a save the date card.). I am not close to my cousin - don't even like him - but I was close-ish to his late wife. And actually lived with my cousin for about 6 years. But I consider the bride's Mom a friend and we are closely in touch on Facebook. (She is my cousin's ex-daughter in law.). Complicated I know. But anyway how much of a cash gift would be appropriate? I know it varies by location. I was thinkibg $200. And that's normal for my area for a relative.

Re: Another wedding gift question

Janey2 — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:16:25 GMT

@FranandZoe It seems that the area you live in dictates the amount that is given. I would never give anyone a gift of $ 200 if I attended a wedding.

Re: Another wedding gift question

FranandZoe — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:17:26 GMT

@Janey2 wrote:
@FranandZoe It seems that the area you live in dictates the amount that is given. I would never give anyone a gift of $ 200 if I attended a wedding.

@Janey2

So is that not enough or too much?

Re: Another wedding gift question

kaydee50 — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:20:21 GMT

@FranandZoe I think that amount sounds right. Give what you feel comfortable giving not what you think you should give--JMHO!!

Re: Another wedding gift question

shoekitty — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:21:43 GMT

@FranandZoe I thinkthat is perfect for a relative. Generous. Thats what I would give. Things have gone up so much. A few years ago 100 would have been generous . Even though I am 78, I have had grand get married and many adult kids of relatives and friends. 200 is what is considered generous and nice for relatives. Even though you may not be close to some,,seems you are to some and once were very close. They will love it.

Re: Another wedding gift question

Janey2 — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:24:25 GMT

@FranandZoe Not enough. If you do not care for these people do not waste your time going. I would give at least $350

Re: Another wedding gift question

FranandZoe — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:29:13 GMT

@shoekitty

@kaydee50 Thanks!

@Janey2 I said I didn't care for my cousin - one person. I would never give that much to a cousin. Thanks.

Re: Another wedding gift question

stevieb — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:29:36 GMT

@Janey2 wrote:
@FranandZoe Not enough. If you do not care for these people do not waste your time going. I would give at least $350

And I'd say you're excessively generous...

Re: Another wedding gift question

jackthebear — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:31:35 GMT

what is your relationship to the bride...do you ever see her in person? are you going to the wedding

would $200 be a hardship for you?

Re: Another wedding gift question

Janey2 — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:32:12 GMT

@stevieb Not here in New York. $350 was the least amount. We were giving this years ago, I was being conservative. That is why I said it depends where you live.

Re: Another wedding gift question

stevieb — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 22:02:33 GMT

@FranandZoe You are a better judge of this relationship than any of us so your judgement is what matters. Personally, for such a distant relative that you apparently don't often even see, I'd cap it a bit lower than you, but your suggestion sounds reasonable. I avoid showers and weddings like the plague unless I'm really, really close to the actual person involved.

Re: Another wedding gift question

foxywoods — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:36:22 GMT

Keep in mind $100 from family was a typical wedding gift in 1980. Adjusted for inflation, that is a bit over $400 in today's money. Freinds maybe gave $50 in 1980; that is about $200 today. What can you buy for $50 today? Lunch at a casual dining place?

Re: Another wedding gift question

FranandZoe — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:36:50 GMT

@stevieb wrote:
@FranandZoe You are a better judge of this relationship then any of us so your judgement is what matters. Personally, for such a distant relative that you apparently don't often even see, I'd cap it a bit lower than you, but your suggestion sounds reasonable. I avoid showers and weddings like the plague unless I'm really, really close to the actual person involved.

@stevieb Actually you have the right idea - sounds like a good plan going forward.

Re: Another wedding gift question

FranandZoe — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:38:29 GMT

@foxywoods wrote:
Keep in mind $100 from family was a typical wedding gift in 1980. Adjusted for inflation, that is a bit over $400 in today's money. Freinds maybe gave $50 in 1980; that is about $200 today. What can you buy for $50 today? Lunch at a casual dining place?

@foxywoods Yeah I've been thinking I may be out of touch lol. But I googled what is customary in my area and I'm pretty much spot on - even on the generous side.

Re: Another wedding gift question

FranandZoe — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:39:56 GMT

@Janey2 wrote:
@stevieb Not here in New York. $350 was the least amount. We were giving this years ago, I was being conservative. That is why I said it depends where you live.

@Janey2 Well yeah NY particularly NYC is a different world.

Re: Another wedding gift question

FranandZoe — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:41:02 GMT

@jackthebear No would not be a hardship at all; I have lunch with her a few times a year and see her occasionally at family events.

Re: Another wedding gift question

FranandZoe — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:41:40 GMT

Thanks Everyone!

Re: Another wedding gift question

Goldengate8361 — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:45:50 GMT

I think anything over $100 is just ridiculous. However, the real question should be "your" financial standing and whether or not $100 or $200 or $1000 is very much TO YOU.

Re: Another wedding gift question

BunSnoop — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:50:15 GMT

When I went to weddings with my husband I would typically give between $200 - $250 from the two of us.

Re: Another wedding gift question

Trinity11 — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:57:32 GMT

@Janey2 wrote:
@stevieb Not here in New York. $350 was the least amount. We were giving this years ago, I was being conservative. That is why I said it depends where you live.

Yes, about 20 years ago. Minimum amount in N.Y venues would be $500.00 @Janey2 today.