topic Re: Thanking a Neighbor in Community Chat

Thanking a Neighbor

Biftu — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 12:51:12 GMT

We've had a lot of snow over the past few days. I was out there shoveling and my neighbor came out and helped me shovel. I only shovel half my driveway because that is good enough yet he insists on shoveling the whole thing. I told him it's not necessary but he insists. Yesterday the snow stopped late at night and when I woke up this morning he had shoveled my long walkway and driveway. He is much younger than me and probably figures he'd help this old lady.. I am very grateful.

A few years ago when they first moved in he helped me shovel as well. At that time I left a restaurant gift card in their mailbox. When he saw me he thanked me but asked me please not to do that again he was just being a good neighbor. The next time I left a thank you card in their mailbox.

i obviously thank him when I see him, but have a hard time not doing more than just a thanks. Should I just accept his kindness and let it go with just saying thank you?

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

Cakers3 — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 12:55:41 GMT

@Biftu

He say he did not want anything.

A simple "Thank you" is enough.

He could be following a personal program or even a religious tenet.

Let it go and respect his request.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

TexasMom1 — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 12:57:04 GMT

Bake him some cookies or something! Tell him you made too many and you are happy to share!

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

QVCkitty1 — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 12:57:29 GMT

I'm like you and Iike to give something in return for a kindness. However I think in this case follow what your kind neighbor asked. The thank you card is fine. I have a nice neighbor also who helps with my trash bins without asking, we are fortunate.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

Group 5 minus 1 — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 13:07:42 GMT

Hubbs plows the driveway for a couple of neighbors. He expects nothing in return. We are just country neighbors and know that if we need help we can ask.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

Iwantcoffee — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 13:12:36 GMT

I would accept his kindness with a thank you.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

nyc1 — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 13:16:56 GMT

@Biftu The neighbors on both sides of us plow our front walk, if they are out first. We do the same if we are first. In this case he helped SHOVEL your entire driveway, and has done so several times. This is beyond kind and appreciated by you.

As someone else said you can bake something or at the end of the season you can still give him a gift card and tell him, you understand that he feels it's not necessary, but that it is for you because you are so grateful. Let him know it makes YOU happy to reward his kindness in return.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

kaydee50 — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 13:33:17 GMT

I would respect his wishes BUT I would try to find out if he has a favorite charity and make a donation in his name.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

Group 5 minus 1 — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 13:48:26 GMT

The thing about the cookies: in today's world there are so many of us w/food allergies and specials diets. I would ask first.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

Mombo1 — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 14:05:54 GMT

@Biftu I have a very helpful neighbor who always shovels my driveway when it snows. He doesn't expect anything in return...but I have found something that he and his wife are always more than happy to accept. My sister-in-law makes fabulous homemade pizzelles. They tried them once and were crazy about them. Since she sends me dozens ...I keep them in the freezer for my thank you to them. They are always more than happy to receive them. So I guess it depends if you know what your neighbor likes and what you are comfortable with. Otherwise a thank you is fine.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

CarolinaGirl88 — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 14:07:49 GMT

I love this story! He sounds like a respectful young man that was "raised right," as we say down here in the south. I truly think a simple "thank you" is enough, and continue being a good neighbor to him and his family, as I'm sure you are. If you ever have an occasion to meet his parents, I would thank them, too, for raising a kind and thoughtful man.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

JeanLouiseFinch — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 14:09:24 GMT

I understand your feelings, but it takes away from the kindness on his part if he's getting something reciprocal from you. It then turns into a payment of sorts and doesn't mean the same thing as the act of kindness he intended. Allow him to be the good neighbor he wants to be. Say thank you and move on.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

shoptilyadropagain — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 14:14:06 GMT

My late mom had a neighbor who shoveled her drive and sidewalk. At the end of winter, she would give him a gift card to a small pizza chain we have in our area that everyone loves. She appreciated his kindness and wanted to give him something. I know he said he didn't want anything but I'd probably do something similar and give him a thank you card telling him how much you appreciate his help with the snow and enclose a restaurant or VISA gift card.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

tends2dogs — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 14:15:34 GMT

@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:
I understand your feelings, but it takes away from the kindness on his part if he's getting something reciprocal from you. It then turns into a payment of sorts and doesn't mean the same thing as the act of kindness he intended. Allow him to be the good neighbor he wants to be. Say thank you and move on.

I agree with @JeanLouiseFinch . I was in the same position with a neighbor and when I compensated her and her husband by paying for their dinner when we went out with them, she was actually offended. She said we were neighbors and that is what neighbors do. Lesson learned. We have since had the chance to do many favors for them AS neighbors.

You never know, but someday they may need a favor from you.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

geezerette — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 14:19:09 GMT

As much as I agree with your wanting to thank him with "something", I tend to agree that if he specifically told you he didn't want you to do that I would respect his wishes.

But in addition to thanking him in person when he shovels, at the end of the season I would write a very nice thank you note telling him how much his thoughtfulness means to you.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

pigletsmom2 — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 14:22:47 GMT

My dad always did this for people and I think the only thing he would have accepted was a 6 pack of beer. So your neighbor would probably take something small like that. Maybe outside of doing it right after he's shoveled. Like a random box of donuts during the year or cookies or something.

I'm glad someone helps you. When my dad became the guy who could use the help none of the younger people in the neighborhood picked up the mantle.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

Desertdi — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 14:36:37 GMT

I was one of the FEW children on my block ... and the neighbors EXPECTED me to do the shovelling. NO thanks or "tips".

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

Biftu — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 14:43:01 GMT

@Group 5 minus 1 wrote:
The thing about the cookies: in today's world there are so many of us w/food allergies and specials diets. I would ask first.

@Group 5 minus 1 I agree. Gone are the days of baking or cooking for others.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

Biftu — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 14:46:04 GMT

@CarolinaGirl88 wrote:
I love this story! He sounds like a respectful young man that was "raised right," as we say down here in the south. I truly think a simple "thank you" is enough, and continue being a good neighbor to him and his family, as I'm sure you are. If you ever have an occasion to meet his parents, I would thank them, too, for raising a kind and thoughtful man.

@CarolinaGirl88 It's actually the father who did the shoveling. I'm guessing he is in his 50s. So grateful.

Re: Thanking a Neighbor

Biftu — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 14:50:27 GMT

@shoptilyadropagain wrote:
My late mom had a neighbor who shoveled her drive and sidewalk. At the end of winter, she would give him a gift card to a small pizza chain we have in our area that everyone loves. She appreciated his kindness and wanted to give him something. I know he said he didn't want anything but I'd probably do something similar and give him a thank you card telling him how much you appreciate his help with the snow and enclose a restaurant or VISA gift card.

@shoptilyadropagain That was nice of your mother, but when I gave him a local restaurant gift card in the past he was adamant about not doing that again. I have to follow his wishes and leave it at a thank you.