topic Re: The Holidays in Community Chat

The Holidays

Jordan2 — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 03:04:51 GMT

This time of year is always hard for me Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I am alone for the holidays, thinking of how much I miss my parents and brother. I just try to get through til the new year.

Re: The Holidays

Kachina624 — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 03:13:02 GMT

I've been alone for many years. I don't even give much thought to holidays anymore. They're meaningless to me. I just find things to do to keep busy, don't dwell in the past. I had a wonderful family at one time but that was in another life.

Re: The Holidays

Sooner — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 03:31:49 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
This time of year is always hard for me Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I am alone for the holidays, thinking of how much I miss my parents and brother. I just try to get through til the new year.

@Jordan2 I am so sorry for you and if my husband goes before me that will be me. All my family is gone, friends are dead or moved away and lost contact.

I can sympathize with your pain but of course I cannot feel it. My advice would be that as Kachina said, make the holidays also good days in your life, and do something to look forward to, and use the good cheer of the season to include you too.

Do something special, eat something you don't usually eat, and make days a little brighter, and don't focus on loss--truly be thankful today for what you had and how much they added to you and to who you are, and how much they would want you to be happier because of them. A blessing to you and to your memories, and prayers for some uplifting days ahead!

Re: The Holidays

beach-mom — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 05:44:56 GMT

Thinking of all of you who are "coping" with this holiday.

I'm a little sad too. I've posted about the special Thanksgivings we always had with DH's family for so many years. They are no more. The hard thing is we are so far, and we were used to staying the weekend there and having fun. IDK what they do now, but we can't invite ourselves up.

My family is gone, so they are our family.

We always spent Thanksgiving with them because it was a big deal. The one year we spent with my family was the year we moved back east from Texas. We went to my mom's for the weekend and my one uncle and two of my cousins came up from Virginia. My one cousin (divorced) loved to cook. He came up with some interesting recipes. He made the turkey, and I helped him.

Mom had already made some dishes.

We said goodbye to her on Sunday, and the week following was a nightmare. She went into the hospital with what they thought was a UTI. I went down with my baby, and she died the next morning from septic shock syndrome. DH and DD came down that day. We got her cat, and some Christmas toys we found in a box, locked up the house, and drove back home for a few days.

I'm so glad we spent that time with her.

So if I were to give anyone who is struggling advice I would say do whatever you want. I took a long nap with 2 of our kitties, woke up and watched Christmas with the Kranks, with commercials. DH watched football.

I have a lot of single friends. Most are getting together with other friends this weekend.

Part of "Splendour in the Grass" by William Wordsworth

"Though nothing can bring back the hour

Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower

We will grieve not, rather find

Strength in what remains behind..."

I will be thinking of you this holiday season.

Re: The Holidays

Desertdi — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 08:40:28 GMT

@Kachina624

I have a few shirt-tail relatives who live on the East Coast. They must watch a lot of John Wayne movies, because they "think" Arizona is a desolate place that they wouldn't set foot in. Thank heaven.... di

Re: The Holidays

AngelPuppy1 — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 10:46:18 GMT

@Jordan2

I know holidays must be difficult. My husband and I are thankful we have each other. We have no other relatives to share the holidays with, so if something happens to one of us, we will be alone as well. Yesterday we were talking about how much we missed sharing thanksgiving with our mothers and a few family members. Mostly, our mothers.

Re: The Holidays

Imaoldhippie — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 10:57:09 GMT

Ha ha, lol. Dont blame you one bit.

Re: The Holidays

CalminHeart — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 12:12:17 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
This time of year is always hard for me Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I am alone for the holidays, thinking of how much I miss my parents and brother. I just try to get through til the new year.

I'm in the same situation. I lost 5 immediate family members in a 14 month period 2023-2024 and it's strange to not have them around.

Re: The Holidays

Teddixat — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 12:25:42 GMT

@CalminHeart Oh my goodness, That is so tragic. So sorry for your losses

Re: The Holidays

Meowingkitty — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 12:39:43 GMT

@Desertdi wrote:
@Kachina624

I have a few shirt-tail relatives who live on the East Coast. They must watch a lot of John Wayne movies, because they "think" Arizona is a desolate place that they wouldn't set foot in. Thank heaven.... di

That's why my parents moved from Ohio in the late 50's to Arizona was to get away from the relatives. It worked. They only came out for my dads funeral in 1966 and never saw them again.

Re: The Holidays

jellyBEAN — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 13:01:01 GMT

Like many respondents to this thread, I have no family left either. My immediate family is gone. The Holidays are always a reminder of when I lost my middle brother in '78. Home from the service for his Holiday leave, he was killed in an accident. Other things of ill nature have also happened during what is supposed to be a happy time.

I do enjoy seeing children happy, and other people looking forward to this season. I do a little inside/outside decorating. I send hand written cards to friends. It's the Birthday of Jesus and that is worth celebrating and a special day, family or not.

But you certainly are not alone in being alone.

I also really dislike the cold weather, but as long as the sun comes out, all is well.

Re: The Holidays

bonnielu — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 13:28:17 GMT

I still have family. I feel blessed. But I feel your pain. I can only share my fathers words before he died, I might add right in front of me.
WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND SAY…. Today is the first day of the rest of my life… MAKE IT COUNT….make a difference in someone’s life. I was young and the feeling of loss shattered my world. But his words kept him alive forever in my heart

Re: The Holidays

Auntie CC — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 13:40:21 GMT

Go to the library and pick out a bunch of great books. Reading got me thru long times of isolation.

Re: The Holidays

Still Raining — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 13:49:25 GMT

Have you thought of inviting every one you who is also alone for a potluck dinner? They are out there. It can be fun.

Re: The Holidays

ThinkingOutLoud — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 15:28:38 GMT

I'm sorry to all those that find the holidays difficult.

One of the best solutions is to step outside yourself. There are a myriad of ways to make a difference in someone else's life. Maybe do a service or RAK advent. It would be a win-win all around.

Re: The Holidays

Kachina624 — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 16:36:37 GMT

@Desertdi wrote:
@Kachina624

I have a few shirt-tail relatives who live on the East Coast. They must watch a lot of John Wayne movies, because they "think" Arizona is a desolate place that they wouldn't set foot in. Thank heaven.... di

@Desertdi. It's a miracle they don't decend on you about February. Make sure they never see a copy of Arizona Highways.

Re: The Holidays

Big Joanie — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 01:00:45 GMT

Oh How I love that quote ...

Re: The Holidays

Big Joanie — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 01:04:20 GMT

@beach-mom wrote:
Thinking of all of you who are "coping" with this holiday.

I'm a little sad too. I've posted about the special Thanksgivings we always had with DH's family for so many years. They are no more. The hard thing is we are so far, and we were used to staying the weekend there and having fun. IDK what they do now, but we can't invite ourselves up.

My family is gone, so they are our family.

We always spent Thanksgiving with them because it was a big deal. The one year we spent with my family was the year we moved back east from Texas. We went to my mom's for the weekend and my one uncle and two of my cousins came up from Virginia. My one cousin (divorced) loved to cook. He came up with some interesting recipes. He made the turkey, and I helped him.

Mom had already made some dishes.

We said goodbye to her on Sunday, and the week following was a nightmare. She went into the hospital with what they thought was a UTI. I went down with my baby, and she died the next morning from septic shock syndrome. DH and DD came down that day. We got her cat, and some Christmas toys we found in a box, locked up the house, and drove back home for a few days.

I'm so glad we spent that time with her.

So if I were to give anyone who is struggling advice I would say do whatever you want. I took a long nap with 2 of our kitties, woke up and watched Christmas with the Kranks, with commercials. DH watched football.

I have a lot of single friends. Most are getting together with other friends this weekend.

Part of "Splendour in the Grass" by William Wordsworth

"Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind..."

I will be thinking of you this holiday season.

Re: The Holidays

lovesallanimals — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 03:22:42 GMT

I am also alone, no family, lost my DH this past spring. All my friends have passed away. It is devasting.

Re: The Holidays

shoekitty — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 04:27:10 GMT

group hug to you all!