topic Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children in Community Chat

Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

Biftu — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 02:52:55 GMT

For years we have given birthday and Christmas gifts to neighbor's three girls. They are now 19, 16, and 11. It's getting hard to think of things they would like, not to mention expensive. We used to see them quite a bit but as they have grown and have their own lives we rarely see them. If they are not home when I drop off the gifts I never get an acknowledgment or a thanks. Not that I need a thanks, but that is not how I grew up. My mother always made me send a note or call and thank those who gave me a gift.

Anyway, this year I decided to at least skip the birthday gifts. That didn't work because they parents threw birthday parties for each of them so a gift needed to be given. Here comes Christmas and I am thinking of not giving gifts but feeling a bit guilty not doing so. Should I bite the bullet and continue or is it time to break this tradition?

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

Citrine1 — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 02:57:21 GMT

It's time to break the tradition and you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about!

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

lolasgaga — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 03:04:43 GMT

You have been very kind for many years. I would end gift giving at this point. The fact you never receive a thank you note or call shows they do not apreciate your kindness.

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

tansy — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 03:11:51 GMT

I might stop giving to the oldest one and continue with the other two until they turn 18. But I understand the lack of a thank-you spoils some of the joy for you, @Biftu.

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

Kachina624 — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 03:24:15 GMT

@tansy wrote:
I might stop giving to the oldest one and continue with the other two until they turn 18. But I understand the lack of a thank-you spoils some of the joy for you, @Biftu.

@tansy. I think that would be akward. I'd discontinue giving to all of them. Just leaving one out seems like you've got something against her.

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

ThinkingOutLoud — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 03:33:48 GMT

How about transitioning to a family gift? A theme would be easy - popcorn, snacks, 6 pack of sprite with a dvd movie or board/card game.

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

Etoile308 — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 03:35:45 GMT

If it were me, I would stop with the individual gifts. If you think you'll feel guilty about not gifting anything, then perhaps one family gift they can all partake in.

Something like a gift basket with fruit and treats from Harry & David, more something more local, or the Mrs. Prindables Apples.

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

shoekitty — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 04:13:51 GMT

I think @ThinkingOutLoud has a great idea. Just a gift pack, snacks, cookies, candy etc. Costco even has some nice gift baskets. Idk if I'd want to stop cold turkey. They might think your mad at them, or senile and forgot, lol! I always think of the saying don't start anything you don't want to finish...lol. I get caught in these things sometimes, and it's hard or uncomfortable to stop. Good luck whatever you do. They must care for you to keep including you

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

tansy — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 05:01:54 GMT

@Kachina624 wrote:

@tansy wrote:
I might stop giving to the oldest one and continue with the other two until they turn 18. But I understand the lack of a thank-you spoils some of the joy for you, @Biftu.
@tansy. I think that would be akward. I'd discontinue giving to all of them. Just leaving one out seems like you've got something against her.

That's a good point, @Kachina624. I was thinking that the OP would explain the age cutoff. 🤷‍♀️

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

kaydee50 — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 05:07:22 GMT

@Biftu Does the family ever reciprocate? You've been generous over the years. I would stop the gifts and not feel guilty about it.

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

elated — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 08:37:10 GMT

@Biftu If it were me, I would stop the gift giving. There is no reason to feel guilty, sometimes we are our own worst enemy.. People change, relationships change and you have been very generous over the years and times have changed. Just move forward.

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

cindyNC — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 08:48:23 GMT

You are an incredibly kind and generous neighbor. Are you super close to the parents? I think you should discontinue the gifts. I stopped w/my neices when they were about 18.

It wasn't a big deal. I just let my sister in law know about it. I saw one neice for the first time in 20 years a few years ago, but keep up on Facebook with all the others. We live about 18 hours away from each other.

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

haddon9 — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 09:36:07 GMT

It sounds to me like it is time to end it. When children are little it is very tempting and fun to give gifts. However at some point as they get older it is no longer "fun" as you try to figure out what to give nor is it necessary since it's not like they are your grandchildren.

The icing on the cake is the lack of a simple thank you. If you feel that you want to give something, give a family gift. Otherwise a card should be enough.

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

jackthebear — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 11:11:48 GMT

@Biftu has this family ever given a gift to your family or you

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

CalminHeart — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 11:15:53 GMT

Times are tough and the kids are getting older. Stop buying gifts for them. Don't feel guilty about it.

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

Goldengate8361 — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 11:36:51 GMT

@Biftu @definitely time to drop this tradition.

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

ajsidney12 — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 12:06:09 GMT

@cindyNC This is what I was thinking. My grandmother stopped giving the grandkids gifts/checks when we got married. By then she also had stopped the bday gifts (which we all had encouraged her to do anyway as we were adults ) One year she gave the spouses old pictures she had of us as kids, and that was one of the best ideas, cost nothing at all, and still remembered all these years later. As great grands came along, when she could, she would send a check or a little something, but then there were so many we all supported her decision to stop.

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

threecees — Sat, 15 Nov 2025 23:39:10 GMT

I would stop this year because there is only one really young girl left in the family.

It's obvious they don't appreciate your gifts by no thank you and that is not right at all.

If you don't stop this year, then you will go through this again next year.

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

Biftu — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 12:28:10 GMT

@jackthebear wrote:
@Biftu has this family ever given a gift to your family or you

No. In fact when they go on vacation I am tasked with watering their outdoor plants. I do get a thank you for that. They are very nice neighbors and always there when needed.

Re: Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

50Mickey — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 13:12:29 GMT

It seems like another poster had this dilemma a few years ago. She said that the family was very nice and included her in their parties, and holiday activities and helps her out when she needs help. And like Biftu she said they were good neighbors. I think the gifts to the girls are unnecessary at this point. But if these neighbors are kind and caring and are helpful to you I think a family gift with a card wishing them a wonderful holiday season. It doesn't have to be expensive. It's the thought that counts.