topic Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED? in Community Chat

SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

jellyBEAN — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 12:47:11 GMT

I attended a small gathering (12 people) and was being introduced to the group. One of the persons there I recognized as I see this person out n about in the neighborhood, but I don't know her or ever have conversation with her, but do say Hello if I see here in passing.

So during the introductions she said to me, yeah my name is _______ but you called me _______, but that's OK. Now this is in front of a group of people I am just meeting, other than the one who invited me. If I said Hello _____, and it wasn't her name, I obviously made a mistake and didn't recall her name, as we don't know each other at all, other than saying Hello. I apologized if I did say her name wrong, but it struck me as jeeeeez lady, did you have to call me out in front of the entire group who I am just meeting?

Anyway I was embarrassed and others mentioned I would be quizzed on all their names at the end of our meeting.

Am I being overly sensitive? I don't do well in groups to begin with as I am usually by myself and prefer one on one friendships, and I brushed it aside and laughed about it, but I felt singled out and uncomfortable and am not sure I want to attend any more meetings with this group. What say you?

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

goldensrbest — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 12:54:11 GMT

@jellyBEAN wrote:
I attended a small gathering (12 people) and was being introduced to the group. One of the persons there I recognized as I see this person out n about in the neighborhood, but I don't know her or ever have conversation with her, but do say Hello if I see here in passing.

So during the introductions she said to me, yeah my name is _______ but you called me _______, but that's OK. Now this is in front of a group of people I am just meeting, other than the one who invited me. If I said Hello _____, and it wasn't her name, I obviously made a mistake and didn't recall her name, as we don't know each other at all, other than saying Hello. I apologized if I did say her name wrong, but it struck me as jeeeeez lady, did you have to call me out in front of the entire group who I am just meeting?

Anyway I was embarrassed and others mentioned I would be quizzed on all their names at the end of our meeting.

Am I being overly sensitive? I don't do well in groups to begin with as I am usually by myself and prefer one on one friendships, and I brushed it aside and laughed about it, but I felt singled out and uncomfortable and am not sure I want to attend any more meetings with this group. What say you?

Yes, over sensitive.

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

kaydee50 — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 12:54:28 GMT

I can understand your feeling uncomfortable about what happened but I wouldn't take it too seriously. I would have just said "Oops, senior moment!" If you enjoy the group--not sure that's the case since you don't like being with a lot of people--I would continue. Otherwise, drop out.

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

Desertdi — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 12:55:24 GMT

@jellyBEAN

No. You should feel INSULTED by a very rude and arrogant person. di

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

CalminHeart — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 12:57:09 GMT

I'd probably gush "Oh! I'm so sorry" and move on.

I would laugh with the others. Quizzing names later is a standard, common joke that I've heard for decades.

No need to be embarrassed. Everyone does it at some point in life.

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

CalminHeart — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 12:58:21 GMT

@Desertdi wrote:
@jellyBEAN

No. You should feel INSULTED by a very rude and arrogant person. di

I would tell someone if they got my name wrong. Not everyone is good with names and it's not a big deal. Not an insult.

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

TheMemphisVette — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 12:59:02 GMT

i am so old. this has happened countless times

in work and social situations

i have forgotten more names than i can remember

folks forget my name

it's common and happens all the time

for me i admit to crc and get a good laugh out of it

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

sunshine45 — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 12:59:48 GMT

it didnt sound as if it was said in a mean way at all.

i think you are being overly sensitive.

now you know, which is a good thing.

i dont like calling people by the wrong name, nor do i like mispronouncing their name and have no problem if they respond with the correct name or pronounciation

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

SilleeMee — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 13:03:57 GMT

Had it been a business meeting where you were the boss then, yes, getting peoples' names right would be important. But in your situ, I wouldn't sweat over it.

When I was a kid my dad once told me that a person's name is one of the most important things to someone. I never forgot that.

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

Imaoldhippie — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 13:06:41 GMT

More than likely everyone in that room it has happened to at some time (forgetting names). I can understand being embarrassed, but I would not let that affect going to the gathering, even it you decide later down the road you dont like it and want to quit.

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

jlkz — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 13:08:57 GMT

@jellyBEAN

Absolutely not: the person who pointed out that you had called her the wrong name while out walking is the one who should have been embarrassed for not correcting you the first time !

Obviously someone who needed to be the center of attention at your expense...she should apologize to you.

After many decades of being in hot spots in different types of organizations, I have found using my quick sense of humor deflected a lot of nonsense and game playing. If it was a situation in which I was the leader, I remained the leader.

Whoever was introducing you should have had the sense to quickly smooth over the inappropriate remark with a nod to how easy it is to mistake someone's name...that's why they created name tags, lol !

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

ThinkingOutLoud — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 13:17:28 GMT

The person who corrected you in that way showed a lack of tact and that's on them so I wouldn't let that determine if I kept attending.

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

Bonkers1 — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 13:20:04 GMT

I would say you go girl. Put on your big girl panties and go enjoy yourself.

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

on the bay — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 13:49:54 GMT

It sounds like she said it in an embarassing way though It would have been more embarrasing if she didn't tell you and you kept calling her by the wrong name only for others or her to correct you later on.

She could have just quietly said her name, but still don't take it too personally because it sounds like she is not worried about hurting anyones feelings.

I can imagine myself saying Oh I'm so sorry and also saying what I say often-

If you remember your own name you are doing ok and there may be days, you can't remember that!

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

QVCkitty1 — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 13:23:00 GMT

It was ham handed of that person to call you out in front of a group. It could be brought up later one on one and spared your feelings.

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

faeriemoon — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 13:24:41 GMT

I forget names two seconds after being introduced. The woman should have kept her mouth shut and simply let the mistake ride.

Idiot.

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

Still Raining — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 13:31:15 GMT

Two thoughts:

Long ago when you were first greeting her, she should have stoped and introduced herself. Right then and there. This is all on her.

Second, I would evaluate the tone at the meeting and the ongoing comments. Depends on how friendly they are.

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

FranandZoe — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 14:01:35 GMT

That person could certainly have handled it better. She was rude IMO.

And as far as being embarrassed or overly sensitive - you can't help your feelings. But you did nothing wrong - you just know that woman in passing - it's no wonder you forgot her name. I wouldn't let that incident keep you away from the group in the future. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. SHE should be embarrssed and actually should apologize. In front of the group! Just kidding about that last part but it would be nice if she apologized to you.

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

Carmie — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 13:38:26 GMT

I get called the wrong first name often and have all of my life. I used to quietly correct people, but it continues. I mostly just let it go.

I also have an ethnic sounding last name that REALLY gets misprounced. I have to spell it out. And, they still get it wrong.

I would never call someone out in front of a group if they made an error. Your "new friend" needs better manners.

No, you shouldn't feel embarrassed. Just let it go. I am sure the group has forgotten about it by now.

Everyone makes mistakes with names; it's not a big deal to most.

Re: SHOULD I FEEL EMBARRASSED?

San Antonio Gal — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 13:38:39 GMT

Yes @jellyBEAN . You are being overly sensitive.