topic Re: Family Reunion in Community Chat

Family Reunion

THEJBUGG — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 03:26:56 GMT

I have a family reunion coming up this summer that one of my relatives is organizing.

I'm seriously thinking of not going. The only issue is out of all the couisins, aunts and uncles, I would be the only one who wouldn't be attending. Everyone has RSVP'D yes. I told them it's too far out for me to commit at this time but I'll think about it.

The reunion is 3 hours away from where I live.

The thing is, there's a lot of in-fighting that goes on in my family and quite honestly, if I were to go, I know stuff would be brought up and I'd really rather not have to deal with it. Stuff like past arguments, petty comments etc. Let's just say my family, as much as I love them, brings the term disfunctional to a whole new level. I love them, I'd just rather not deal with the drama.

But if I don't go, I'll be the only one not going and I know it'll be a big deal and they'll all bring it up via email.

I'm debating on what to do. Why drive 3 hours one way to spend time with people who will create drama in your life? This is what I'm dealing with.

I'd welcome your input.

Re: Family Reunion

THEJBUGG — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 03:35:04 GMT

Sorry, I CAN spell dysfunctional.

Re: Family Reunion

scotttie — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 03:39:39 GMT

I'd go. Every family has karp. You never know when the group will lose someone in the coming year and you might feel bad you missed a chance to see them. I recommend a Large Beer or cocktail as you visit.

Re: Family Reunion

Catfancy — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 03:46:51 GMT

I would go. No one is getting any younger and you may regret not going some day! If the going gets rough----- then you can leave. Tell them you have a long drive and a busy tomorrow!

Re: Family Reunion

mgm2 — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 03:48:27 GMT

You should go, it's about family, not just you.

Re: Family Reunion

radimage — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 03:51:12 GMT

My mom died with us being mad at each other.

Go.

You'll regret it if you don't.

Re: Family Reunion

onewhiteSparrow — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 03:52:46 GMT

Might as well go but handle things the way you have an out to leave. You could have a friend call you at a time you ask them to call you on your cell phone. Go outside and make the call for them to call you in 30 minutes or one hour.

Or if you have a iPhone you can set your Alarm Clock to go off at a time you want to leave. And just say that is your reminder that you have to return home or work later that evening.

Re: Family Reunion

LyndaGee — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 03:53:09 GMT

I'm not good with advice, but I can relate because my family can be the same way when they get together. I have a couple of uncles who enjoy pushing buttons.

You have time, and I'm sure you'll make the right decision. Good luck!

Re: Family Reunion

scotttie — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 03:55:10 GMT

On 1/26/2014 onewhiteSparrow said:
Might as well go but handle things the way you have an out to leave. You could have a friend call you at a time you ask them to call you on your cell phone. Go outside and make the call for them to call you in 30 minutes or one hour.

Or if you have a iPhone you can set your Alarm Clock to go off at a time you want to leave. And just say that is your reminder that you have to return home or work later that evening.

Lol! Sparrow, my kids and I have a code for just such situations "The Duck Flies at Midnight!"

Re: Family Reunion

GCR18 — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 03:57:53 GMT

I agree, go. I would get there fashionably late and be the second one to leave.

Re: Family Reunion

onewhiteSparrow — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 04:04:12 GMT

On 1/26/2014 beammeupscottie said:
On 1/26/2014 onewhiteSparrow said:
Might as well go but handle things the way you have an out to leave. You could have a friend call you at a time you ask them to call you on your cell phone. Go outside and make the call for them to call you in 30 minutes or one hour.

Or if you have a iPhone you can set your Alarm Clock to go off at a time you want to leave. And just say that is your reminder that you have to return home or work later that evening.

Lol! Sparrow, my kids and I have a code for just such situations "The Duck Flies at Midnight!"

LOL Sounds good. I like that saying.

Re: Family Reunion

croemer — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 04:47:03 GMT

On 1/26/2014 beammeupscottie said:
On 1/26/2014 chrystaltree said:
Are you 12 years old? If not, what do you care what "they" say? If you don't want To go, don't go. To be honest, you're just one member of the family. No one will miss you.

You are always so nasty. Go away.

Wow this is two rather shocking posts chrystal has made lately, one was much worse then this. Why be so harsh with no provocation? Just Wow.

Back to the topic...my opinion...I doubt I would go either.

Re: Family Reunion

raven-blackbird — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 05:02:30 GMT

you know there is going to be trouble if you DON'T go.........but you also know there will be if you DO go........I say weigh out how much ""trouble"" you can or can't tolerate and go with that........because........girl you're between a rock and a hard spot..............................raven

Re: Family Reunion

BellaPaprika — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 05:11:52 GMT

If I were you I would go, otherwise you're going to be the main topic of conversation at the reunion. However, don't let yourself get dragged into any spats or other nonsense while you're there. If anyone starts that sort of thing, just tell them you have someone else you need to talk to and move on. Keep smiling (and possibly drinking) and you should be OK.

Re: Family Reunion

Lila Belle — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 05:13:21 GMT

If you don't go you'll never be able to say your piece if it comes to that. Then you can walk away with your head high and will have been true to yourself.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Re: Family Reunion

stevieb — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 05:17:22 GMT

I'd be tempted to skip it, but if some of these relatives are 'close' despite the drama and the differences, consider that it's just a single day out of your life...

Re: Family Reunion

Jannabelle — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 05:22:54 GMT

On 1/26/2014 THEJBUGG said:
I have a family reunion coming up this summer that one of my relatives is organizing.

I'm seriously thinking of not going. The only issue is out of all the couisins, aunts and uncles, I would be the only one who wouldn't be attending. Everyone has RSVP'D yes. I told them it's too far out for me to commit at this time but I'll think about it.

The reunion is 3 hours away from where I live.

The thing is, there's a lot of in-fighting that goes on in my family and quite honestly, if I were to go, I know stuff would be brought up and I'd really rather not have to deal with it. Stuff like past arguments, petty comments etc. Let's just say my family, as much as I love them, brings the term disfunctional to a whole new level. I love them, I'd just rather not deal with the drama.

But if I don't go, I'll be the only one not going and I know it'll be a big deal and they'll all bring it up via email.

I'm debating on what to do. Why drive 3 hours one way to spend time with people who will create drama in your life? This is what I'm dealing with.

I'd welcome your input.

1. Just because they rsvp yes does not mean they will go.

2.They kind of know you don't want to come anyway , because "it is too far out to commit" means I am really not interested in this, so I am hoping a legit excuse will come up between now and then.

3.Gas is really high to drive six hrs for something you don't really want to go to.

4.You have not even decided to go and are already dreading the drama.

5.You think they will bombard you with emails about why you didn't show, but in reality they may not even miss you(unless you are what the drama is all about,lol)...and doesn't most of your emails go to spam anyway?

6.Life is too short to spend it trying to make others happy, it never works anyway.

To thine own self be true.

Re: Family Reunion

scotttie — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 05:31:20 GMT

I'd still go. I'd rather be sorry I went than sorry I didn't.

Re: Family Reunion

occasionalrain — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 05:34:36 GMT

I like drama, it amuses me when families argue over nothing. My family doesn't do drama so when I'm invited to go along to another family's get together, I go. Maybe if it were my family arguing I wouldn't find it so much fun. So, I'm not in a position to advise.

Re: Family Reunion

mistriTsquirrel — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 05:37:00 GMT

On 1/26/2014 beammeupscottie said:
I'd still go. I'd rather be sorry I went than sorry I didn't.

I agree with the above.

You never know who may not be alive next year, and how you would feel if you missed seeing that person one last time.

If it turns out to be a drama-fest...well, it's only one day of your life...and you can leave early if people get out of control and things become unpleasant.