topic Re: Rude Coworker in Community Chat

Rude Coworker

Jordan2 — Sat, 10 May 2025 15:11:15 GMT

I work in a school as an aide supervising children during lunch and recess (pre-k-2nd grade). There is another aide who is around my age who picks on me. I don't know what her problem is with me, but she doesn't do it to anyone else. I'm easy going, so maybe she thinks she can get away with it regarding me. Other people see that she bullies me ( she once yelled at me across the soccer field for everyone to hear).I will answer her back ( I told her never speak to me that way again), she always has an answer when she does something I don't like, I can't win. She thinks nothing of any of this but it bothers me.

Re: Rude Coworker

ajsidney12 — Sat, 10 May 2025 16:00:51 GMT

Not knowing specifics of the actual comments, next time she does it warn her that you will report her for her behavior. You are in charge of children and her disrespecting you shows the kids that the behavior is acceptable, when in actuality she should be a good role model for them to follow.

Re: Rude Coworker

kaydee50 — Sat, 10 May 2025 15:25:19 GMT

Do you have a supervisor that could intercede? If not, is this a paying job or volunteer? In either case I would leave and notify those in charge why you're doing so.

Re: Rude Coworker

Rockycoast — Sat, 10 May 2025 15:28:57 GMT

You told her to stop. It hasn't worked. She is setting a very bad example for the young children. Bullying is never right at any age, They can see what is going on also.

I would talk to the supervisor/principal next. See if they will have a talk with her to stop the bullying.

Re: Rude Coworker

mildoo — Sat, 10 May 2025 15:31:23 GMT

She's jealous of you, pure and simple. Something you have, something you are capable of doing, the way you look, present yourself to people or children. Something you have or do that she lacks is driving her mad. She's an envious, vindictive, small minded person lacking in a lot of areas. She perceives you to be more than she is (and she is probably right), so be that person and don't let her diminish you. She will eventually trip herself up in someway and a person who counts will notice and she'll lose her job. Stay the course, be yourself and be confident around her.

Re: Rude Coworker

Cakers3 — Sat, 10 May 2025 15:31:30 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
I work in a school as an aide supervising children during lunch and recess (pre-k-2nd grade). There is another aide who is around my age who picks on me. I don't know what her problem is with me, but she doesn't do it to anyone else. I'm easy going, so maybe she thinks she can get away with it regarding me. Other people see that she bullies me ( she once yelled at me across the soccer field for everyone to hear).I will answer her back ( I told her never speak to me that way again), she always has an answer when she does something I don't like, I can't win. She thinks nothing of any of this but it bothers me.

@Jordan2 You can't win? What do you expect/want to win🤔

She isn't going to change. All you can do is change yourself. Your reaction means she lives in your head and she knows it.

Most of us have dealt with unreasonable co-workers in our lives.

Reporting her will be looked at as being a tattletale. Even though you say others see her behavior do you really want to drag them into this (I don't know if you have I'm just asking).

Do your job and forget her. Your job is as an aide, not to change another person. Trying to do that leaves you stressed and carrying it home and here. Guarantee she doesn't give you a second thought.

I don't know exactly what she says or yells across a field etc.

She has your number because she knows you will react.

Good luck. Change your perception, not her.

Re: Rude Coworker

Sooner — Sat, 10 May 2025 15:32:32 GMT

@Jordan2 I am not usually one to go higher up until there's no other option, but in this case, yes I would go talk to your supervisor and calmly outline the problem and ask is this sort of atmosphere ok where you work?

I'd say 'OK' not tolerated, say that you are worried about the example for the children, etc. Don't say "tolerated" or put it on an accusatory level. Keep it calm and as a productive comment, an idea for some change etc. and on a positive and calm note. You are worried about the kids not you.

It will tell you if this is ok or not, without putting the blame back on you as a complainer but as a productive concerned employee. That will tell you all you need to know about what the boss thinks is ok, and if you need to move or stay with out a fight at work.

Re: Rude Coworker

branny — Sat, 10 May 2025 15:38:45 GMT

I would be saying to her "what is your problem" and if you have one let's solve it right now with the higher ups. She a miserable person and it needs to stop. Sorry you have to deal with aggressive territorial people.

Re: Rude Coworker

Beth-QVC — Sat, 10 May 2025 16:09:31 GMT

unnecessary

Re: Rude Coworker

LizzieInSRQ — Sat, 10 May 2025 17:00:38 GMT

@ajsidney12 wrote:
Not knowing specifics of the actual comments, next time she does it warn her that you will report her for her behavior. You are in charge of children and her disrespecting you shows the kids that the behavior is acceptable, when in actuality she should be a good role model for them to follow.

Why warn her? Just do it.

Re: Rude Coworker

conlt — Sat, 10 May 2025 17:08:08 GMT

@Jordan2 What type of remarks is she saying? This is important because depending on what she is saying, the situation could be considered a hostile work environment. We need more specifics. I would say, talk to your boss about the situation. Better yet, put it in writing and save a copy for yourself at home.

Re: Rude Coworker

Laura14 — Sat, 10 May 2025 19:15:04 GMT

If she is truly a bully, this is how it's done.

You speak to her with an impartial witness if it's private or a quiet, semi-private area, with eye contact in a firm voice, just like you would with the kids.

Tell her very calmly and very nicely that you want her to stop. Give her three examples and three solutions for how she can communicate what she wants you to know better.

That may be all you need.

If you get attitude at that point, eye contact, very calmly and very firmly let her know that if she continues to make you feel uncomfortable, you'll have no choice but to ask for help in dealing with her. And you will ask.

You'd rather not involve anyone else, let's end this now, but you will go there if she forces you too. Then end with let's figure this out together. We don't have to be friends, but I do expect to be treated in a professional manner and you do too.

Then walk away. And, of course, make sure if she tests you, you follow through on the consequences you laid out the very first time it happens after that.

If she's truly overstepping and needs her job like most people, she'll knock it off and find another target.

Re: Rude Coworker

Nightowlz — Sat, 10 May 2025 17:26:46 GMT

Next time she yells at you across the field ignore her. I would act like she wasn't there. Keep doing what you are there for.

Re: Rude Coworker

chrystaltree — Sat, 10 May 2025 17:41:26 GMT

Bullies target people who allow themselves to be bullied. They see weakness and they pounce. First, tell your supervisor. Although I do wonder why you haven't already done this. Also act like an adult! There's nothing to be proud of in being "easy going" with a bully. The next time she orders you around or tells at you, yell back! Loud enough for others to hear! You aren't my boss! How dare you speak to me like that! Why are you attacking me like that! Then go to your boss and tell her you unsafe around that person. You have to make some noise.

Re: Rude Coworker

Cakers3 — Sat, 10 May 2025 21:19:48 GMT

@ajsidney12 wrote:
Not knowing specifics of the actual comments, next time she does it warn her that you will report her for her behavior. You are in charge of children and her disrespecting you shows the kids that the behavior is acceptable, when in actuality she should be a good role model for them to follow.

@ajsidney12 She said she answers her back so if all of these situations happen in front of the children the OP is just as at fault for displaying unacceptable behavior.

Re: Rude Coworker

Marp — Sat, 10 May 2025 21:29:41 GMT

I'd like more information particularly examples of the rudeness.

Curious about the other side of the story.

Re: Rude Coworker

Jordan2 — Sat, 10 May 2025 22:11:56 GMT

@kaydee50 the principal is retiring, she is just counting her days left. I pretty much ignore the coworker unless I have to speak to her about work. Other than her I don't mind the work, she will not run me out.

Re: Rude Coworker

snipsnapsnur — Sat, 10 May 2025 22:20:12 GMT

This post is very confusing. The two of you are supervising children during recess and lunch. What could possibly be happening for someone to be rude about, lol?

Re: Rude Coworker

shoekitty — Sat, 10 May 2025 22:24:49 GMT

Holy Cow @Jordan2 !,, That is a sad thing to hear. You woukd think that doo doo went out in the 1990's. She needs sensitivity training. All I can say, is she might do it, because she can..or she feels threatened by you. I might talk to principal, or someone who manages aides. Here in California, we usually report problems like that to principal, and they go from there. The good principals keep a close eye on goings on and anything that effect moral of employees and students. These are their concerns.

Re: Rude Coworker

spumoni99 — Sat, 10 May 2025 22:29:20 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
@kaydee50 the principal is retiring, she is just counting her days left. I pretty much ignore the coworker unless I have to speak to her about work. Other than her I don't mind the work, she will not run me out.

@Jordan2She is still working and getting paid and should be able to handle a simple issue like this If it bothers you enough to post about it you should talk to the principal about it.