topic Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back? in Community Chat

Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

JeanLouiseFinch — Wed, 07 May 2025 11:56:11 GMT

There's more to add to the story....

Two of the bridesmaids are throwing a virtual shower via a Zoom meeting. How would that even be done? Maybe the invitees send gifts in advance and the bride opens them while the rest watch on the phone, tablet, computer? I suppose it could work. I declined.

But here's where it gets distasteful again (IMO)...

A few days ago, the bride herself (mid 40's) shared her shower info on her Facebook page. She stated that invitations had already been sent but she didn't want to miss anyone so she was sharing the details. That one really floored me. DH agreed with me this time.

I guess I'm still old fashioned about this stuff.

🤦‍♀️

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

piperbay — Tue, 06 May 2025 23:23:21 GMT

It seems so impersonal. I would decline too. Whatever happened to the fun of getting together and sharing in the joy of the bride to be?

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

sunshine45 — Tue, 06 May 2025 23:26:16 GMT

@piperbay wrote:
It seems so impersonal. I would decline too. Whatever happened to the fun of getting together and sharing in the joy of the bride to be?

these types of showers were quite popular during covid. friends and family could "attend" online instead of having a big gathering. it was also a much cheaper way to have a celebration. also, i dont know the exact details of the wedding or where the bride or groom live, but maybe she/he doesnt live near many of the attendees?

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

Sooner — Tue, 06 May 2025 23:52:22 GMT

It's a whole different world now for us elderly ones. People don't all live near one another, Internet is just part of life, and people seem to have a lot more disposable income.

All sorts of occasions are now made for facebook (or whatever else) online life and selfies and photo opps.

Best to decline and not get upset about it all. It is what it is.

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

SouthernBee — Tue, 06 May 2025 23:54:18 GMT

@JeanLouiseFinch : I am old and prefer the old traditions. My answer for today's gift grabs: Do your own : Go Fund Me or whatever it's called.

Totally crazy what friends and family request money for ... Just my opinion.

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

JeanLouiseFinch — Tue, 06 May 2025 23:55:51 GMT

I do understand about the distance thing and the virtual stuff being a more convenient alternative.

My displeasure is in the bride herself inviting people to her own shower the way she did.

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

september — Tue, 06 May 2025 23:59:34 GMT

@piperbay wrote:
It seems so impersonal. I would decline too. Whatever happened to the fun of getting together and sharing in the joy of the bride to be?

We don't all live in the same neighborhood as the bride, these days. I would rather send a gift directly to the bride, than have to make travel arrangements and stay overnight, at least a night or two, in a hotel.

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

bikerbabe — Wed, 07 May 2025 00:20:18 GMT

I don’t have a problem with any of it. I’d gladly do a zoom over in-person.

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

piperbay — Wed, 07 May 2025 00:21:41 GMT

@september I can understand that if you don't live near the bride.

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

september — Wed, 07 May 2025 00:23:36 GMT

@piperbay wrote:
@september I can understand that if you don't live near the bride.

I usually don't! I traveled when the bride was going to be my daughter-in-law. Won't do it for anyone else.😊

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

shoekitty — Wed, 07 May 2025 00:30:02 GMT

@JeanLouiseFinch Im not sure I totally understand. Are the bridesmaids giving the shower, and there will be a real shower, with only some people going? Or, are the bridesmaids hosting the zoom with on,y the bride? They will open gifts? I usually never see gift opening. They don't do that much anymore. Usually they have these big affairs and bride, or Mom to be opened gifts at home. .

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

haddon9 — Wed, 07 May 2025 00:53:33 GMT

During Covid I was invited to a Zoom bridal shower. At the time I had gone down to Florida to see my mother and brought my laptop with me. It was an older computer and tended to get hot if I used it for too long.

The shower was really kind of boring. There were too many people and too many trying to talk at once. People were on "teams" and they had us separated in thumbnail photos on a grid. The reason for the teams was to be able to switch so everyone got a chance to participate. She did some games but didn't open her gifts.

After a while I was done and my computer started to overheat anyway.

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

Sooner — Wed, 07 May 2025 00:59:30 GMT

I have always avoided showers when at all possible. Send a gift and regrets. . .

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

JeanLouiseFinch — Wed, 07 May 2025 01:02:59 GMT

@shoekitty wrote:
@JeanLouiseFinch Im not sure I totally understand. Are the bridesmaids giving the shower, and there will be a real shower, with only some people going? Or, are the bridesmaids hosting the zoom with on,y the bride? They will open gifts? I usually never see gift opening. They don't do that much anymore. Usually they have these big affairs and bride, or Mom to be opened gifts at home. .

@shoekitty - I'm not certain of every detail but what would be the point if there were no gifts to open? Especially when it's online. What else would there be to do? Every shower I've ever attended, bridal or baby, the gift opening was the biggest part of it. I received an invitation from the two bridesmaids. The shower will be held as a Zoom meeting. No in person guests anywhere.

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

on the bay — Wed, 07 May 2025 01:09:19 GMT

I understood it that it is not having the bridal shower via zoom that is bothersome but that the bride to be invited people over facebook saying she had already sent out invitations but didn't want to miss anyone. Then why didn't she send out invitations at first to those "she didn't want to miss?

That to me, means she also really didn't want to miss any gifts? That's how I understood it.

I "went" to a zoom memorial of a longtime friend. I think it was during the covd pandemic too.

A few people in the same state were there in person. Many of us no longer lived in the same state so I was glad we all kind of got to be there and see each other and remember our friend.

But I don't like zoom really. It gets so impersonal and if too many people it's awkward or talking over each other. I don't mind facetime with family.

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

JeanLouiseFinch — Wed, 07 May 2025 01:27:21 GMT

@on the bay wrote:
I understood it that it is not having the bridal shower via zoom that is bothersome but that the bride to be invited people over facebook saying she had already sent out invitations but didn't want to miss anyone. Then why didn't she send out invitations at first to those "she didn't want to miss?

That to me, means she also really didn't want to miss any gifts? That's how I understood it.

I "went" to a zoom memorial of a longtime friend. I think it was during the covd pandemic too.
A few people in the same state were there in person. Many of us no longer lived in the same state so I was glad we all kind of got to be there and see each other and remember our friend.

But I don't like zoom really. It gets so impersonal and if too many people it's awkward or talking over each other. I don't mind facetime with family.

Bingo!

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

ScrapHappy — Wed, 07 May 2025 01:59:03 GMT

@SouthernBee wrote:
@JeanLouiseFinch : I am old and prefer the old traditions. My answer for today's gift grabs: Do your own : Go Fund Me or whatever it's called.
Totally crazy what friends and family request money for ... Just my opinion.

Saw a video from a woman who received a bridal shower invite. She said the bride to be had a designer purse and something set up to help pay next years taxes.

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

SouthernBee — Wed, 07 May 2025 09:49:00 GMT

@ScrapHappy : So sad. Just support my lifestyle.

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

LizzieInSRQ — Wed, 07 May 2025 10:34:27 GMT

Tacky gift grab. Showers by zoom? Wierdos

Re: Remember When I Asked About Current Wedding Protocol Awhile Back?

CalminHeart — Wed, 07 May 2025 11:50:18 GMT

My DIL has sent invitations via social media.

My niece's family sent out her baby shower invitations out on facebook.

It's just how younger people are using social media.

Not a big deal in my book.