topic Re: Geneaology Question in Community Chat

Geneaology Question

Mersha — Mon, 10 Mar 2025 22:19:36 GMT

I am down the rabbit hole of researching our geneaology.

I came upon something curious and want to get opinions on what it might be.

There is a family plot where several are buried. On the left of the stone are three people with the same last name...mother, father and daughter is designated on the stone.

On the right side, a female with a different last name and below her name is a different male name from the previous two and it is states "Beloved."

Was "beloved" used in years past to indicate a husband? I never saw that inscription on a tombstone before. I am finding the beloved person very hard to find info on and I would love to know the story.

I know for a fact the woman above "Beloved" was a widow at one point.

Anyone have any ideas?

Re: Geneaology Question

hayseed00 — Mon, 10 Mar 2025 23:26:11 GMT

@Mersha On Memorial Day i go to a few very old cemetaries, and quite a few of my Mom and Dad's family from the 1800's are buried there and the word Beloved is on many of them to signify a loved family member who is deceased, not necessarily a spouse.

Re: Geneaology Question

Mersha — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 00:02:25 GMT

@hayseed00 Thanks for your reply.

I will continue to dig until I find the mysterious "beloved" man with my great, great grandmother.

You would think if they married she would have taken his name, which she clearly did not.

Re: Geneaology Question

Desertdi — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 00:07:45 GMT

"Beloved" is still used in obituaries, also

Re: Geneaology Question

shoekitty — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 00:25:25 GMT

Could be many reasons. Although I am not entirely sure I understand the situation. Beloved is a term used even today on a tombstone, although usually above or below name and death day

they bury up to three usually in a grave. 2 adults, a small child. Or two adults and cremations remains. Can you give ma any dates on these tombstones? Because in olden times, lol. Beloved might be used for a illegitimite child, or someone out of the faith. Or maybe it was "close friend", or someone the family who buried them didn't know. Lots of reasons. However, what I have found is you can contact the cemetary, call them, go on if you can...they can tell you a lot. Depending on the year they were buried. Also, get the death certificate. I worked for a museum and we have death certificates for most deaths that occurred in our city. I got my great grandfathers death certificate, also found his grave. I untangled a mystery there that we hadn't known , nor did my dad. If I had more info I might be able to help.
but please contact cemetary, your county dept of vital statistics for certificate. And for sure talk to cemetary.

Re: Geneaology Question

candys mine — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 00:33:22 GMT

Married, widowed Sister? Left side Women's Mother? No ideas about the Right side Male.

Are there birth and death dates on the stone? That would narrow down the search parameters. Good luck on the mystery.

Re: Geneaology Question

shoekitty — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 00:35:06 GMT

@hayseed00 wrote:
@Mersha On Memorial Day i go to a few very old cemetaries, and quite a few of my Mom and Dad's family from the 1800's are buried there and the word Beloved is on many of them to signify a loved family member who is deceased, not necessarily a spouse.

@hayseed00 This is true. I am thinking maybe a man friend. Or a child out of wedlock. In those days illegitamate weren't recognized. Sometimes they couldn't even be buried in same area as Christian area. They were segregated. If it was a husband, it is odd he wasn't mentioned first. I have scoured our old newspapers goinf back to,1863, we are California so we don't go back that far. Only the Catholic Church has records here of California before a state. People weren't even required to notify the county of a death or birth before 1910 All the newspapers I scoured for births, and deaths never mentioned the woman's first name. The death or the birth announcement in paper read, boy born to Mr and Mrs John L Smith. Or wife of Mr John L Smith died .....

Re: Geneaology Question

skatting44 — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 00:44:37 GMT

@Mersha

any luck in looking at the census record for 1860 of the people to the left and the woman with a different name Maybe, she or the man lived in the same household or lived nearby .

Any property Deeds to review

Re: Geneaology Question

Greeneyedlady21 — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 01:28:49 GMT

Possibly a baby who was stillborn?

Re: Geneaology Question

shoekitty — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 01:51:54 GMT

Yes, maybe the woman died in childbirth with baby. Such a common occurance then

Re: Geneaology Question

Mersha — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 02:22:35 GMT

Thank you to everyone for your knowledge, ideas and advice.

"Beloved" male with different surname than anyone in the grave was buried there 20 years after my great, great grandmother.

It could have been a child out of wedlock or she was an early cougar.

Those marked on the left side of the stone are one of my great, great grandmother's daughters, her husband and child.

Unfortunately, any family members that might know are long gone.

I will keep working to solve the mystery.

Re: Geneaology Question

LizzieInSRQ — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 02:43:28 GMT

@Mersha @@If you go to FindAGrave dot com you may be able to put the name in of the female and it may link to the " beloved " and show some information. If anyone has followed up on it. There are volunteers all over the country who take photos and log info.

This is how I found my dad's grave and also found out how his stupid 2nd wife put the wrong date of death on the tombstone by a month. I called the cemetery but they wont do anything about it unless I buy a new stone. My dad abandoned me so forget that.

Fair warning this is a most fascinating site for people like me, The rabbit hole is deeeeep. Just looking up British Royal Family, I can get lost for hours.

Let us know if you find out anything,

Enjoy!

Re: Geneaology Question

NYCLatinaMe — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 04:18:05 GMT

@Mersha Does the male "beloved" have a last name. Is the male's last name the same as that of the female? Does it look like they are both buried there, or just the female?

Re: Geneaology Question

NYCLatinaMe — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 04:24:23 GMT

@Mersha wrote:
Thank you to everyone for your knowledge, ideas and advice.

"Beloved" male with different surname than anyone in the grave was buried there 20 years after my great, great grandmother.

It could have been a child out of wedlock or she was an early cougar.

Those marked on the left side of the stone are one of my great, great grandmother's daughters, her husband and child.

Unfortunately, any family members that might know are long gone.

I will keep working to solve the mystery.

Hi @Mersha I wouldn't assume out of wedlock. In the past, families would take on children of families of lesser means or orphans, because things were not institutionalized like organized adoptions. So these needy people would be like family but also servants. Also, spouses may end up in different graves because of their different family trees. I think asking the cemetery would be the place to start. They should have records.

Re: Geneaology Question

chrystaltree — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 07:01:52 GMT

I worked for Social Security part-time when I was in college. There was that $250 death benefit back then. Families had to submit a death certificate or a certificate from the funeral home. Our town had just one one funeral home, a long time family business. Under relationship, they would sometimes say "beloved" and I wondered what that meant. Usually, it was what you would expect; wife, husband, sister etc". And occasionally beloved. I asked one of the older women in the office about it and explained that funeral home used beloved when a couple lived as man and wife but was never legally married. Our state did not recognize common law marriages. So "beloved" was used because they couldn't say spouse and friend just wasn't right. So "beloved" explained those relationships.

Re: Geneaology Question

Still Raining — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 15:03:52 GMT

If it is a family plot, could the man be a nephew?

Re: Geneaology Question

Mersha — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 18:22:08 GMT

I looked into the database of the cemetery and there is no record of "beloved" even with having the death date from the stone. The other 4 on the stone do come up.

I will continue to search and if I find anything, I will advise.

It is indeed a mystery.

Thanks to everyone for your help.

Re: Geneaology Question

Mersha — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 18:32:46 GMT

@NYCLatinaMe wrote:

@Mersha Does the male "beloved" have a last name. Is the male's last name the same as that of the female? Does it look like they are both buried there, or just the female?

@NYCLatinaMe Yes, "beloved" has a first name, last name and date of death. His last name is different from others listed on the stone.

Nothing is coming up on him. I have an Ancestry membership going now so have access to many records. He remains a mystery.

Re: Geneaology Question

ALRATIBA — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 18:45:31 GMT

Several suggestions.

1. check the cemetery office .... see what info they have.

2. get death certificates

3. check newspaper obituaries

4. Google the names

5. Familysearch.org .... the LDS genealogy website

Re: Geneaology Question

Still Raining — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 19:10:19 GMT

Could the man be a immigrant? Came over and settled by family?

Some countries have good records on line that you can search by name. I have found some from Germany and England. Then if you get lucky you can dig into church yard records for parents.