topic Re: If A Child Can... in Community Chat

If A Child Can...

SandySparkles — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 18:20:19 GMT

I could only nod my head in agreement when I saw this!!!😁

What say you?

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

Re: If A Child Can...

SloopJohnB — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 18:23:13 GMT

@SandySparkles wrote:

I could only nod my head in agreement when I saw this!!!😁

What say you?

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

Amen!

Re: If A Child Can...

chrystaltree — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 18:27:18 GMT

I won't argue with that. My girls always had chores and household duties.

Re: If A Child Can...

jlkz — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 18:35:36 GMT

Growing up, my friends and I all had certain chores we were assigned, some of us got allowances, some did not.

Looking back, I see how we were learning life skills and sharing in the responsibility of maintaining the cleanliness of our environment.

After the birth of my younger sisters, the twins, my mother needed a very early hysterectomy which caused her to overreact to stresses in the extended family. The doctor recommended she go out and get a job which she did....this was 1954. At 10 in the fourth grade, I became the cook and floor scrubber. Dinner was on the table when she came home at 5:20. I don't remember what my father did on the alternate weeks when he worked day shift. I remember he had a weekend part-time job though.

The early responsibilities taught me to prioritize and manage my time: my schoolwork never suffered. As I remained first in my class all the way through graduation.

Even today, my home, my car, my iPad, my cell phone are all organized.

Re: If A Child Can...

JYWilliams — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 18:36:41 GMT

LOL, So True....

Re: If A Child Can...

OKPrincess — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 18:43:35 GMT

It starts at home.

Re: If A Child Can...

Mersha — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 18:52:51 GMT

Riveting statement to start a thread about.

This will probably turn into another "let's bash young people" thread.

Re: If A Child Can...

juanitalinda — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 19:10:46 GMT

I agree with this wholeheartedly.

However, sometimes it requires more patience than parents can provide.

I was assigned chores as a child, but it never turned out well.

I was too clumsy sweeping ... too slow peeling potatos ... dropped things .. food didn't turn out the way my parents wanted .....

So ... after a few disappointing attempts, I was prohibited from doing any chores.

To this day, I still am clumsy with a broom, drop dishes, and can't cook worth a darn.

Fortunately my husband is a saint.

Re: If A Child Can...

spiderw — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 19:12:17 GMT

Whatever parents can teach their children, manners, self respect and respect for others, value systems, kindness are commendable. These are just as important if not more than house chores. However, it is all good and benefits the youngsters as they mature.

Re: If A Child Can...

meallen616 — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 19:17:58 GMT

So true!

Re: If A Child Can...

SandySparkles — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 19:26:20 GMT

@jlkz wrote:
Growing up, my friends and I all had certain chores we were assigned, some of us got allowances, some did not.

Looking back, I see how we were learning life skills and sharing in the responsibility of maintaining the cleanliness of our environment.

After the birth of my younger sisters, the twins, my mother needed a very early hysterectomy which caused her to overreact to stresses in the extended family. The doctor recommended she go out and get a job which she did....this was 1954. At 10 in the fourth grade, I became the cook and floor scrubber. Dinner was on the table when she came home at 5:20. I don't remember what my father did on the alternate weeks when he worked day shift. I remember he had a weekend part-time job though.

The early responsibilities taught me to prioritize and manage my time: my schoolwork never suffered. As I remained first in my class all the way through graduation.

Even today, my home, my car, my iPad, my cell phone are all organized.

@jlkz Welcome!🥰 I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post as this is similar to my history!!!😊 I was the oldest, so much of the day-to-day responsibilities were delegated to me when my parents were not home. I am MOST grateful for the life lessons I learned because of it. I am also OCD about cleanliness and organization.😁 My family jokes about being able to eat off my floors without worry!😂

THANK you SO much for caring to share!🤗

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

Re: If A Child Can...

lgfan — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 19:27:42 GMT

Playing with phones, games and tablets is fun compared to doing chores.

Re: If A Child Can...

Cakers3 — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 19:30:15 GMT

@SandySparkles I agree 👍💯

My son could iron (with supervision) at the age of 7.

He could do laundry (with supervision) at the age of 7.

Just a start.

I never even had a microwave oven until he was 16. He knows how to cook because he did cook.

I believe children will want to copy what Mom and/or Dad do around the house. If they do not see it, they will not learn it.

Very simple.

I see nothing negative or anything sinister about this thread so perhaps some should sweep out their own houses first.

Just sayin'.🙄

Re: If A Child Can...

SandySparkles — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 19:37:38 GMT

@Cakers3 wrote:
@SandySparkles I agree 👍💯

My son could iron (with supervision) at the age of 7.
He could do laundry (with supervision) at the age of 7.
Just a start.

I never even had a microwave oven until he was 16. He knows how to cook because he did cook.

I believe children will want to copy what Mom and/or Dad do around the house. If they do not see it, they will not learn it.

Very simple.

I see nothing negative or anything sinister about this thread so perhaps some should sweep out their own houses first.

Just sayin'.🙄

@Cakers3 Welcome!🥰 WOW! That is MOST impressive!👍 I taught my children to iron before they entered middle school as they were so eager to learn; thankfully!! I was a single mom at the time, so it was quite welcome!😊

THANK you SO much for caring to share!🤗

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

Re: If A Child Can...

SandySparkles — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 19:48:17 GMT

@spiderw wrote:
Whatever parents can teach their children, manners, self respect and respect for others, value systems, kindness are commendable. These are just as important if not more than house chores. However, it is all good and benefits the youngsters as they mature.

@spiderw Welcome!🥰 Exactly! I like that you said, "benefits the youngsters as they mature".👍My dear mother had many faults, but I am forever grateful to her for instilling the importance of keeping a clean, tidy environment and learning prioritization.😊

THANK you SO much for caring to share!🤗

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

Re: If A Child Can...

Mersha — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 19:49:23 GMT

@Cakers3 wrote:
@SandySparkles I agree 👍💯

My son could iron (with supervision) at the age of 7.
He could do laundry (with supervision) at the age of 7.
Just a start.

I never even had a microwave oven until he was 16. He knows how to cook because he did cook.

I believe children will want to copy what Mom and/or Dad do around the house. If they do not see it, they will not learn it.

Very simple.

I see nothing negative or anything sinister about this thread so perhaps some should sweep out their own houses first.

Just sayin'.🙄

@Cakers3 There is a trend wherein you must reply negatively to any post where my opinion is stated.

You seem obsessed with me.

Just sayin'.

Re: If A Child Can...

JoyFilled Warrior — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 20:34:01 GMT

At my last home, a least, the 2 youngest of the 4 children, neighbors, would often come over. After they'd the 2-6 kids left, there I picked up the items used, & I swept after where they were sitting, doing whatever craft, or Beauty, Art, Playing activities, or movie we were watching. Don't know why this necessary sweepable-ness was coming from, Every time??

Then occurred to me, 'why was I doing all *their* sweeping each time. So I started teaching them, you must sweep after yrself (your used area) before you leave here. They took to it, no problem! SHOCKER, esp since their own home was a virtual, no joke, awful, awful, awful, unconscionable, literal PIG PEN. Indescribably awful Home conditions Id NEVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! So I expected a struggle. NOPE (in my home).

(I was only allowed in their own home, finally, when their Dad was trying to hoodwink me, put the squeeze on me to move in with that divorced Dad of his 4 children & multiple of virtually ignored series of pets. THAT is when I saw, & THAT is when I was UTTERLY SHOCKED!! And did EVERYTHING for that move to his place, NOT to be my only option! I dare say, it was CONDEMNABLE, imho!)

I carefully asked the visiting girls, why didnt they do this same clean up thing in their own home?? Their response: "Because it was too overwhelming." I tried to teach them, little bit at a time makes it manageable. For a time, we did manage to teach them, & they taught the males, cleanliness in the Bathroom. But their 3 males always wanted to use the cleanest bathroom - the girls!

Trying not to betray them, I carefully counseled their Dad with the gist of what they mentioned to me. HE did NOTHING about it. Even resisted it! Turned out, cause HE HIMSELF avoided cleaning also, pig-ness seemingly proud of, & also seemed to have such disdain for cleaning! It was indescribable

Visiting there, when it appeared it was my only option in moving, I was teaching the girls/boys/even Dad, about cleaning up, esp after themselves. Hitting up these, non-human, horrid conditions even. Tempting the kids with my own money, we did manage to clean some places, with helps of rake, shovels, & whatever worked, and those tools on the *INSIDE* (AND also OUTSIDE) house! Eventually, finally, he kicked in and helped too.

He confided in me that he was concerned the kids would expect paying them for each time he wanted them to clean. (He had a hard time keeping a job, and it was always the bosses fault for no job).

As we plugged along, I would help them ONLY ONCE - THEY are maintain it. Of course, hey didnt believe me, only once.

... Then, in fact, he was repeatedly telling the kids that, I was OCD about cleaning, so then the kids had excuses to start to slacking off.

It's "NOT happening in my own abode!! If you come over/stay, you sweep after! Otherwise, enjoy yourselves, but not in my home." So they they tested, & were allowed to keep coming over, provided, they swept as usual. Tested me, & I stuck with it!

Then the youngest girl BEGGED ME to wash my small, "preferably hardly anything in the sink but only for minutes. One serving handful of dishes. Then she wanted to sparkle up my white porcelain sink, which I virtually kept that way anyway.

I even set her up with a little collapsible stool, at the sink, which she was so proud of!

Their Dad missed one heck of an opportunity with these kids, at least the youngest one. But Dad said he loved visiting one of this gal friends who he said was OCD about cleaning. He "loved going over her house," he said, "cause everything was just in its own place & always clean." I bit my tongue, but eventually it escaped my mouth, I couldnt help myself, & said to him: "kinda like continuing to visit a Hotel, eh?" He said, "yeah." Not sure that connected with him.

NO, I did everything NOT to move me (& my beloved cat) over there to his place, when my landlord wanted to sell, & was squeezing me, to move out, in less than 1 month, in the dead of winter.

My place was neighbor to this (the Pig Pen) home.

This neighbor's moved out, ex-wife, (kids Mom), was always calling Authorities to his home. But he was always most cagey, & dodged being caught.

Yeah, kids CAN be able to be taught cleaning, (at least when they're merely visiting me), & at least when you "ride them." The "riding part" is alotta work tho, cause they like to wear down the adult! and they succeed, esp when all living together. I saw this with my own brothers, growing up! But also, my Mom always insisted, "cleaning was a female's job." Yeah, right? NOPE, I dont agree! At a minimum, regardless of gender, clean up after yrself.

Besides, Im incredibly bug-phobic! heh (And the boys thought it funny, to add insult to my phobia, put bugs everywhere I would be, including on, & in my bed!

Re: If A Child Can...

Cakers3 — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 21:11:44 GMT

@JoyFilled Warrior I never understood why the mother of these children does not have custody. If she has to continually call the authorities why are the children left with him? Or is she being bitter and uses the authorities for some type of revenge.

It doesn't make sense.

Children are not inherently lazy so the attention given to them leads to them wanting to do chores. Children are naturally curious.

They will learn because they see, and want to try the same.

Re: If A Child Can...

SandySparkles — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 22:37:28 GMT

@monicakm wrote:
@SandySparkles

My family jokes about being able to eat off my floors without worry!

My family used to make those kinds of comments too. Two knee surgeries and a heart surgery later, I am not that clean freak anymore. I hope to be again someday but with my husband home now, he is helping more with those chores.

@monicakm Welcome!🥰 You are quite fortunate to have a husband who is that thoughtful! Some men just do not favor chores and will GLADLY pay for housekeepers!😂

I am truly sorry that multiple surgeries have curtailed your ability to clean as you would like to!❤️ I had my right knee replaced several years past from a serious, PAINFUL injury that did not heal properly, so I empathize with you and am happy that you are healed and able to join in chat with us when you like!😊

THANK you SO much for caring to share!🤗

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

Re: If A Child Can...

JoyFilled Warrior — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 22:38:46 GMT

Hi @Cakers3

I dont know about that either.

Except, at the beginning, she left the house, & took the kids with her, (according to him). Was there some "abandonment" legal thing about her leaving?? And with the kids? I dont know.

Also, the divorced Dad kept saying she had a steady stream of men she was bopping, even many visiting her/their home. And their kids were home schooled, all the time these "men" were supposedly coming & going there meeting the Mom. Really??????

Last few years or two, their now divorced Dad kept pummeling the kids (& me) with his (ex) wife bopping, at first, 10 men, then became 20 men, then 50 men, and eventually his "telling the same tale" short time, but escalated up to 200 men!

And he'd get exasperated with me, as a neighbor, as to why I didnt see all these men coming and going from my neighboring home? (ALL this, while the kids were being home-schooled) HUH??? He had all 5 of them, incl self, in therapy, his choice of therapists, and as such, the therapists supposed declared him the "safe parent," HE SAYS.

*shrugs* I DID NOT see all these >200 men, (altho Im kind of a person who "doesnt pay much snoopy attention to neighbors"). Seems I wouldnt miss 200 men coming, or even 10 men, going to her home there!

He said he had some device, on her car, or phone, & proof he had evidence she was caught going to GYNs for abortion (altho he said his device was always 10 minutes delay). How would he know why the reason for her visit???

ONLY a couple of times when they were still together, she'd have me there, looking after the kids, for her very short, GYN appt, she said, and she was very briefly away. I DID NOT TELL HIM ABOUT ANY OF THIS!

This divorced Husb/Wife kept going to Court for YEARS with supposedly, no resolution betw the two with legal custody, except, the kids happened to be living with him at the time, but the Judge supposedly would NOT give either the father/mother sole legal custody of the kids, supposedly.

All this is coming from his one-sided self, mind you!! Which I've since learned NOT to trust. Imagine me "forced" to move there??? And it's even worse, but I'll spare you.

Seems like a royal mess to me. Poor kids. He was said he was allowed to physically keep the kids, 'cause he says their therapists say "he was the safe parent," vs their own Mom/ex wife.

If they "acted out" at my particular home, *POOF* no more visits

on & on .. story/drama continues....

.. gets even more interesting & sad, IMHO ...