topic Re: Hard decisons in Community Chat

Hard decisons

smoochy — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 16:23:40 GMT

after decades of enjoyment as a Sweet Adelines member, singing, performing and competing in numerous choruses and quartets, I had to resign. For those who don't know, involvement in barbershop singing is a consuming hobby. Or as any barbershopper will call it, our other life, lol. Stage makeup. Costumes covered in sequins and bling.Weekly rehearsals and many extras, some lasting all day. I have been a member of a large elite women's chorus for six months.Was thrilled to pass the multifaceted audition process. We have a world class, highly sought after director. (in his work life he directs the vocal singing groups at Disney World) A history of top ten placement at International competition. The four part à capella sound we make would blow your hair back. 🤩Why would I leave all this won̈derfulness you ask ? Money! 🤑

Between the $60/mo dues, the high cost of travel and lodging, random fees that pop up...well on a fixed income I just can't make it work. DH supplements our fixed income with a part time job which is a blessing but it only stretches so far.

Yesterday I had a wakeup call when an unplanned dental expense drained our savings acct. At my age that isn't the first and won't be the last unexpected expense. We have to pay our bills, prioritize our financial obligations over a costly hobby. I'm sad because I'd hoped I could make it all work. Happy, nostalgic and blessed to have enjoyed decades in this musical endeavor. Its been a pleasure! When I started in 1989, my kids were 5 and 2 yrs old. They called my chorus the Singing Ladies. Still called us that when they were adults lol 😊

If you have a chance to attend a barbershop show whether men or women, buy a ticket and GO!

My season as a singIng lady has come to an end. Im hanging up my sequins with misty eyes and a smile. 🥰

P.S. this is in no way a tale of woe. Talking about it and sharing, helps me process and keep it in perspective 👍

Re: Hard decisons

Zhills — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 16:30:37 GMT

@smoochy I sincerely feel your pain.

Maybe you could find a local Barbershop group. No big shows, but you get to continue music and local show.

Re: Hard decisons

JeanLouiseFinch — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 16:44:41 GMT

Sometimes being responsible stinks, but you made the right decision, @smoochy.

Re: Hard decisons

cindyNC — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 17:03:22 GMT

@smoochy such a tough decision. Have any of your performances been posted on youtube?

Re: Hard decisons

hopi — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 17:35:39 GMT

So sorry to hear that. Had not idea you were that talented. Such a blessing to have done all those wonderful adventures.

It will get worse soon for so many. Medicare bill was signed yesterday to stop the negotiating of lower prescription prices so raised medication bills will be another burden.

Re: Hard decisons

smoochy — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 17:36:17 GMT

@cindyNC wrote:
@smoochy such a tough decision. Have any of your performances been posted on youtube?

yes many. You can check out the Michigan group I was in, type Grand Rapids Chorus in search bar. Or Toast of Tampa Show Chorus

Re: Hard decisons

KailaS — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 17:49:45 GMT

I am sorry you have been faced with a tough decision about something you clearly love. Being older and/ or on a fixed income is hard. I do not think many folks understand unless they are in your place. Congratulations on all that you have accomplished in being selected for the elite chorus. I am sure you will be missed!

Re: Hard decisons

Tinkrbl44 — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 18:20:00 GMT

@smoochy

I'm so sorry you have to put an end to what gave you such happiness and inclusion, but you made the right call.

Your comments surprised me, as I didn't know there even were chorus competitions .... OR the fact that these talented people are out of pocket for so much!

Not only do you have to be so talented to qualify, but that you pay for costumes, travel and lodging .... wow, IMO, that's just too much!

IMO, you had a great run, and can savor the memories forever.

Re: Hard decisons

PA Mom-mom — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 18:20:25 GMT

@smoochy Singing together in an a capella group creates a special sense of community, so I can surely see how this is painful for you. I hope you will find a group you can join in your town, as suggested by @Zhills I might also suggest looking for local "singing" churches. I have belonged to a "singing" church all my life as a Mennonite. A chorister once told me, "It's hard so stay mad at anyone you have to harmonize with every week."

Re: Hard decisons

GingerHead — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 18:36:10 GMT

@smoochy

What a cool thing to be a part of. You should be proud.

Now onto your next big adventure! Onward and upward!

Re: Hard decisons

haddon9 — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 18:46:49 GMT

I'm sorry about the tough decision that you had to make. However it is understandable.

It's too bad that it was so expensive and time consuming. As others have mentioned, maybe you can find another singing group which will work better for you?

Re: Hard decisons

occasionalrain — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 19:06:38 GMT

The ticket revenue should cover some of the cost, travel and accommodations at least.

Where does the revenue from performances go ?

Have you thought of a go fund me?

Re: Hard decisons

lynnie61 — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 19:24:30 GMT

@smoochy Sorry that you had to make that hard decision. It was clearly something you enjoyed and excelled at. I hope you can find a local group that maybe will be less of an expense, and maybe they stay locally. I hope you find something you truly enjoyed. 😉😉

Re: Hard decisons

icezeus — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 19:28:18 GMT

@smoochy

Have you looked into scholarships?/ grants.

It's not the same topic, but when my niece left for college almost 13 years ago, she was a researcher. She found so many scholarships that I had never heard of or thought existed, all on her own. She even found one for the prom. Her parents were impressed.

There are a lot of people who give money for different activities—just a suggestion.

Re: Hard decisons

smoochy — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 19:32:06 GMT

@occasionalrain wrote:
The ticket revenue should cover some of the cost, travel and accommodations at least.
Where does the revenue from performances go ?

Have you thought of a go fund me?

revenue from performances goes to several places: rent for our rehearsal venue, costume costs, paying for our coaches which is very expensive, the cost of having some of our music arranged, other things too.

No gofundme. That would be a temporary fix. It's right for me to retire from Sweet Adelines now.

Re: Hard decisons

smoochy — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 19:40:32 GMT

you guys have lifted me up. Sharing life's pivotal moments, big or small, on these forums is a privilege, as i feel that we do support and empathize with one another😊

Re: Hard decisons

Calcgirl — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 19:49:14 GMT

@smoochy wrote:
after decades of enjoyment as a Sweet Adelines member, singing, performing and competing in numerous choruses and quartets, I had to resign. For those who don't know, involvement in barbershop singing is a consuming hobby. Or as any barbershopper will call it, our other life, lol. Stage makeup. Costumes covered in sequins and bling.Weekly rehearsals and many extras, some lasting all day. I have been a member of a large elite women's chorus for six months.Was thrilled to pass the multifaceted audition process. We have a world class, highly sought after director. (in his work life he directs the vocal singing groups at Disney World) A history of top ten placement at International competition. The four part à capella sound we make would blow your hair back. 🤩Why would I leave all this won̈derfulness you ask ? Money! 🤑
Between the $60/mo dues, the high cost of travel and lodging, random fees that pop up...well on a fixed income I just can't make it work. DH supplements our fixed income with a part time job which is a blessing but it only stretches so far.
Yesterday I had a wakeup call when an unplanned dental expense drained our savings acct. At my age that isn't the first and won't be the last unexpected expense. We have to pay our bills, prioritize our financial obligations over a costly hobby. I'm sad because I'd hoped I could make it all work. Happy, nostalgic and blessed to have enjoyed decades in this musical endeavor. Its been a pleasure! When I started in 1989, my kids were 5 and 2 yrs old. They called my chorus the Singing Ladies. Still called us that when they were adults lol 😊
If you have a chance to attend a barbershop show whether men or women, buy a ticket and GO!
My season as a singIng lady has come to an end. Im hanging up my sequins with misty eyes and a smile. 🥰

P.S. this is in no way a tale of woe. Talking about it and sharing, helps me process and keep it in perspective 👍

Smoochy, One of my relatives ( late hubby's aunt) with last name Metzger ( that is her maiden name, can't recall her married name) was in the Sweet Adelines also.

Re: Hard decisons

Imaoldhippie — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 19:54:26 GMT

@smoochy ..............How wonderful that you had years to enjoy and share with people your talent.

I am sorry to hear that you have to retire from something you loved so much.

Re: Hard decisons

drizzellla — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 20:05:36 GMT

@smoochy I am so glad you were able to participate as long as you did. Wish it was longer but so glad you had the experience and good memories. You have to do something that you love, wish you could have done it longer.

My cousin was in a barbershop quartet from Michigan. They competed in different Barbershop Harmony Society Conventions. He did it for many years.

I recently bought a backpack of the Dapper Dans. It makes me smile just looking at it.

Enjoy all the good memories and be glad you were able to be part of the experience while you could.

Re: Hard decisons

RetRN — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 20:06:16 GMT

I would now sit back and enjoy the happy memories of the great times you were blessed to experience. It seems it brought you great joy, but as they say all good things must come to and end. Your financial security must be a priority at this stage of life. Tough decisions are part of life and we have to learn to move on.