topic Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney in Community Chat

Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

qualitygal — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 11:22:28 GMT

May I strongly suggest, that if you might be in the position of having to ever be a caretaker of a family member, that you get a Power of Attorney. This is again in my case, where I cannot stress enough, how much you'll need those papers when you need to do things for some family member in your care. I suppose it could be for someone who asks your help if they need someone to take the job on. Consider it sooner than later.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

meallen616 — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 11:26:53 GMT

Thank you for your post! Excellent advice,

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

Twoaces — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 13:13:23 GMT

Excellent advice! The best time to do this is while your loved one still has CAPACITY to agree to this. If you wait until your person does not have capacity, the courts will need to get involved. That is far costlier and more time consuming. Alzheimer’s organizations have social workers who can help guide you, and lawyers specializing in elder care will make it happen.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

Roscoe the Rascal — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 13:15:45 GMT

When my husband passed I had no issues with anything. But I went to my attorney soon after and had a new will drawn up and added all the necessary forms needed if something were to happen to me. Power of attorney, living will. I even went to the bank and had a paper drawn up giving my daughter permission to get into my accounts if I were to pass away.

I made sure my life insurance and 401 designated who gets what percentage as well. The will does not guarantee those things and it goes to whoever you have listed on those things. This was a good place to add my grandchildren and give them a certain amount. They are in the will as well.

I told my daughter everything is in the lock box and all the necessary papers are together. She knows where the key is and we did discuss all my wishes beforehand.

My husband did a good job getting things lined up and I always knew where all the paper work was and we talked about death. He purchased our plots and headstone years ago. We knew each others wishes and I am thankful for that. Made those decisions much easier for me and my daughter.

When it came to finances and bills to be paid we shared those responsibilities so I was never left in the dark and that is most important is to know it all.

When my sister passed everything was a mess and then my oldest brothers swoops in and takes over and she would have hated that but she didn't prepare anything. We had to go to a lawyer and start the process because she had no will. She was cremated because I had asked her at one time and I also tried to encourage her to make a will and said she was working on it.

Two different kind of experiences but for when I am gone no loose ends for others to have to go though. It is hard enough. Best thing you can do for others get your affairs in order before you get sick.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

Imaoldhippie — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 13:36:10 GMT

You are so right and great advise. Dont ever think "that your not rich I have no money to leave anyone" that you should not have this done. I have seen people fight over absolutely nothing and I mean nothing.

This is a very short synopsis of what I personally have experienced. Years ago I dated a man that died of pancreatic cancer. I took care of him in his final months. He had only 1 thing and that was an older pickup truck. His daughter said since dad cant compensate you you can have his pickup. At the time it was a Godsend as I was without a job or any transportation of my own. After he passed his daughter went home. I search through all of his papers but never found a title to the truck.

I finally traced down where he bought the truck, but it was never paid for and they had a repo out on it. Meanwhile the daughter called the car dealership and told them my address so they could repo the truck. There is some left to the story, but you get the picture.

Moral of this story? Never trust anyone who thinks they might get something after someones death.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

CalminHeart — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 13:52:59 GMT

I have a Medical POA, Financial POA, and living will. I'm getting a trust for the house and anything else I have because I don't want it to go through probate.

My brother and I just closed probate for my dad. I don't wish that on anyone.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

Still Raining — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 14:17:41 GMT

Please check your state's law, but for me I was able to retain them myself. The named individuals knew where I kept them.

Also needs to be done while you are still able.

In my state the DNR order has to be done by your physician. A different process.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

Carmie — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 14:28:56 GMT

I'm POA for a friend. I have been active in this position for about eight years now.

The OP is right, you need the paperwork. I have made copies and had to drop off a copy to all her doctors. Without it, they won't even let me make an appointment for her.

A POA becomes invalid upon death, so make sure you take care of things before you pass.

Also make sure the Paperwork can be found and let the POA know you have chosen them for this position ahead of time.

Sometimes, i feel it is a full time job. My friend has dementia. I am called for every little thing....even to give permission for a test for a bladder infection.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

Roscoe the Rascal — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 14:56:47 GMT

Everyone here as valuable input. Bottom line get it all done to make life easier for all. Let everyone know as well.

I know it is hard to think about or do but it is also gives you some satisfaction as well.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

Boehm Collector — Mon, 06 Jan 2025 19:30:38 GMT

@qualitygal wrote:
May I strongly suggest, that if you might be in the position of having to ever be a caretaker of a family member, that you get a Power of Attorney. This is again in my case, where I cannot stress enough, how much you'll need those papers when you need to do things for some family member in your care. I suppose it could be for someone who asks your help if they need someone to take the job on. Consider it sooner than later.

@qualitygal . I am an attorney and I agree with you 💯%. It is important to have a Power of Attorney executed before one becomes incompetent. I can't count the number of times people have come to me requesting that I prepare a Power of Attorney for a loved one who is incompetent. I can't have anyone execute a POA if they don't know what they are doing. At that point one has to file for guardianship with the courts. Also, a POA is only valid while a person is alive. Once they pass away the POA is not worth the paper it is written on.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

Sooner — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 15:06:49 GMT

I don't know if it has changed, but turns out Social Security would not take POA for my mother. They were the ONLY Federal Agency or any other place that would not.

I had to establish a representative payee feduciary for the account, have an account in a bank I did not have accounts in to get her SS checks for her. What a mess.s

I had been on all her and my dad's checking accounts since I was born, had POA's and a trust and on and on. Nope. SS was a goat rope. Get it done before they are no longer competent and with their cooperation.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

CelticCrafter — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 15:38:04 GMT

@Imaoldhippie wrote:
You are so right and great advise. Dont ever think "that your not rich I have no money to leave anyone" that you should not have this done. I have seen people fight over absolutely nothing and I mean nothing.

This is a very short synopsis of what I personally have experienced. Years ago I dated a man that died of pancreatic cancer. I took care of him in his final months. He had only 1 thing and that was an older pickup truck. His daughter said since dad cant compensate you you can have his pickup. At the time it was a Godsend as I was without a job or any transportation of my own. After he passed his daughter went home. I search through all of his papers but never found a title to the truck.

I finally traced down where he bought the truck, but it was never paid for and they had a repo out on it. Meanwhile the daughter called the car dealership and told them my address so they could repo the truck. There is some left to the story, but you get the picture.

Moral of this story? Never trust anyone who thinks they might get something after someones death.

@Imaoldhippie Sometimes there is no alternative. We have one daughter - why would we name someone else to handle our affairs and allow them to take percentage of the estate.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

ID2 — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 15:44:08 GMT

My parents were very organized. Many years before they died we all went to our attorney and drew up all the papers then. Through the years we revised them. When my dad was left my brother was appointed the financial POW and I was the medical POW. We have since done the same with appointing our kids our POW. So we're all set.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

Jo1313 — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 15:59:50 GMT

My parents had all the things done..even more important that they were business owners..

MY -in-laws..refused to to give DH their only child POA ..He inherited everything..What a mess trying to get things done and paid for.

We have all that in order...and living wills..

Our bank has special instructions..except for the checking acct..All large withdrawals or closing accts..must be done and signed by all POA signers being present.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

deeva — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 18:31:45 GMT

I had POA's for both my parents. It saved me a lot of frustration.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

Skyegirl21 — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 18:38:25 GMT

100% correct. Luckily I got it completed 5 yrs ago for my aging Mom, and these days, you have to show it everywhere, to do anything for another adult- Even with it, there are tremendous frustrations handling affairs for her. And it's especially frustrating regarding the generation that are totally no tech. Frankly, It's been a nightmare...

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

Nightowlz — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 19:07:13 GMT

My older sister had them on 2 of my brothers when they both needed help. She's trying to get my younger sister to sign one in case she ends up needing medical help. She won't sign one. We told her what would happen if she didn't sign one. She said she doesn't care what happens.

She saw 2 of our brothers pass away last year. She acts like we will just let her die? No we won't. We will do what she asks us to do for her if she ends up in that type situation.

DH has power of attorney for his mom. She will be 95 on the 20th. Still doing amazingly well for her age. She still lives in her home.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

Carmie — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 19:24:55 GMT

There's one more thing I just thought of.

When you fill out a HIPAA form at the doctor's or for a health insurance company for your spouse or loved one to have your permission to call for info, be sure not to choose death as the expiring date.

What happens is that your loved ones cannot call to get info to settle a bill or to get an EOB or any info from your insurance company after your death. It will cause them heartship.

Always choose no expiration date or even one year after death to give them time to get your affairs settled.

I have had to deal with spouses who were upset over this and there was nothing I could do. They would have to hire an attorney when if the paperwork was filled out correctly, they wouldn't have had to.

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

katie1859 — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 19:27:38 GMT

This is a valuable post

I I need to obtain POA for my son who I raise

Donyou know how I start this process and what is the cost?

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

patbz — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 19:33:21 GMT

I handled my parents affairs from CA ( they were in MD) for 20 years: having all paperwork in order is essential! Never had any issues with their care, their estate etc. now I'm 81 and DH and I too have a complete estate plan ( including 2 complete revisions; one each 10 years). Now my son(36) is a single parent of 2 boys (12/14); he doesn't have much of an estate yet ( new car and modest bank account) but I gave him Will and Trust kit for Christmas and asked him to do a will asap, including care of his kids. He will inherit our paid off home and 1/2 of our assets. You need to be sure your entire family unit is covered in your care plan!