topic Re: please no gifts in Community Chat

please no gifts

Catitude — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:04:51 GMT

Has this ever happened to you? We agreed no gifts but they gave a gift anyway. Do you say thank you and leave it at that or do you get them a gift after the fact?

Re: please no gifts

scotttie — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:06:36 GMT

If you both agreed no gifts, and they broke the agreement...I'd just say thanks and leave it at that.

Re: please no gifts

croemer — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:08:06 GMT

Err...been there done that. It is very uncomfortable as though you were the only once dense enough to get no gift means...get a gift.

Re: please no gifts

Catitude — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:08:22 GMT

Hi Scottie! Was thinking sending something for Valentines day.

Re: please no gifts

rondell — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:10:22 GMT

Howdy, Opurrra. Yes, this has happened to me. I say thank you and keep the gift, but I usually buy them one for the next occasion.

I wish folks would just respect my request, but what can you do if they won't?

Re: please no gifts

Catitude — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:10:53 GMT

On 1/23/2014 croemer said:
Err...been there done that. It is very uncomfortable as though you were the only once dense enough to get no gift means...get a gift.

Hi croemer! Either very generous or deliberately defying the agreement. Awkward to say the least!

Re: please no gifts

Catitude — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:13:16 GMT

Hi rondell! I am thinking a backup gift card on hand in my purse just in case!

Re: please no gifts

croemer — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:18:14 GMT

On 1/23/2014 Opurrra said: Hi rondell! I am thinking a backup gift card on hand in my purse just in case!

Re: please no gifts

MOONRISER — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:25:53 GMT

That could lead to the movie Ground Hog Day!

Re: please no gifts

scotttie — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:29:24 GMT

On 1/23/2014 Opurrra said: Hi Scottie! Was thinking sending something for Valentines day.

Hi Opurra! That would be okay too.

I had that happen to me once. It is VERY uncomfortable.

Re: please no gifts

RetRN — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:35:32 GMT

I agree, it is awkward. I just say thank you. To me an agreement is an agreement.

Re: please no gifts

faeriemoon — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:35:56 GMT

On 1/23/2014 beammeupscottie said:
If you both agreed no gifts, and they broke the agreement...I'd just say thanks and leave it at that.

I agree.

Are we talking about Christmas? You may have to bring the subject up again next November or so.

Re: please no gifts

chumlee_ — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:39:38 GMT

We had a no gift wedding last year - 4 couples brought gifts - we thanked them but I was really uncomfortable. Do people think you're being coy?? chum

Re: please no gifts

happycat — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:45:37 GMT

Yes, we have had this happen. At Christmas when a sister said just get for the kids. So, that's what I did, and she had a present for me. That happened one time, and that's it. Now I get everybody who is going be at the Christmas gathering something.

Re: please no gifts

Mominohio — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 22:34:44 GMT

It does feel a little uncomfortable, but I'd show my gratitude, and drop it for the time being. At a later date, if you see something that they would like/need, you can gift for another occasion, or for no reason at all. I'm big on gifting, but don't feel that every time I give, I should get (or the other way around either).

When something like that happens, I think it would be appropriate, if you wanted to show your thanks, to bake them something, or prepare a dish to be dropped off in appreciation. Also, a nice flower arrangement from your garden, or something you make (like if you sew,knit, or craft).

Re: please no gifts

Cranberries — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 22:38:42 GMT

Been there, done that. It's uncomfortable because then I feel like an -hole.

One year a family member (and his family) was having an AWFUL time financially/job wise so they said don't buy us gifts, we just can't afford to buy gifts, so we all agreed it was about getting together, not about 'stuff'. So we (husband and I) stuck with it, we didn't buy gifts for them. Well everyone else felt so bad for them they all broke the agreement and bought gifts so then they (who said no gifts) got this massive amount of presents and we sat there with nothing to offer. Felt sooooooo uncomfortable like I looked like a cheap a--, but the agreement WAS no gifts. Pft!

*But at the same time I knew they felt bad getting all those gifts. Awkward for everyone I think.