topic The Holidays in Community Chat

The Holidays

Jordan2 — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 00:59:10 GMT

So, Thursday is Thanksgiving which starts the holiday season with Christmas, Chanukah, New Year's Eve, and New Years Day to follow. For many of us ( myself included) this is a lonely and sad time. People at work mean well and ask what your plans are for Thanksgiving, I usually make something up. Since my mother died the holidays haven't been the same, I just feel like I'm just trying to make it to the new year. For those that will be celebrating Thanksgiving I hope you enjoy being with family and friends. I'll be around for every holiday to check in.

Re: The Holidays

on the bay — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 01:10:27 GMT

@Jordan2,

I wish you could come with me to my family's. You would be hugged and so welcome! So don't feel like you are alone cause I will be thinking of you and you just imagine many are with you in spirit.

That's what I say when I can't be with someone in person

Will be with you in spirit!

Re: The Holidays

gidgetgh — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 02:03:22 GMT

Counting the days till January 2nd.

Re: The Holidays

debfau — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 01:20:48 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
So, Thursday is Thanksgiving which starts the holiday season with Christmas, Chanukah, New Year's Eve, and New Years Day to follow. For many of us ( myself included) this is a lonely and sad time. People at work mean well and ask what your plans are for Thanksgiving, I usually make something up. Since my mother died the holidays haven't been the same, I just feel like I'm just trying to make it to the new year. For those that will be celebrating Thanksgiving I hope you enjoy being with family and friends. I'll be around for every holiday to check in.

Jordan2 - I know you might not feel like celebrating around this time of year, but have you thought about volunteering at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen? It would keep you busy and your mind off of things.

Re: The Holidays

on the bay — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 01:55:19 GMT

@debfau wrote:

Jordan2 - I know you might not feel like celebrating around this time of year, but have you thought about volunteering at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen? It would keep you busy and your mind off of things.

@debfau,

One Thanksgiving, and I don't remember the circumstances around this, my son and I decided to volunteer at a soup kitchen nearby on Thanksgiving Day.

Well, they had so many volunteers, we weren't needed for very long, so dished out a few plates and then let others take a turn.

They told us to go ahead and eat and I was so hungry so we both sat down with others there and it was so good. We talked with other people there who didn't have anywhere to go.

I'll never forget that Thanksgiving!

I think many get lonely not just at holidays though that might make it all the more lonely at those times, thinking of families gathering, or family no longer with us.

I just know many do feel that way at times even with family, if they go home alone after all the celebrations are over. If anything we should know that we are not alone feeling lonely at times. So it's good to try and reach out to someone, even if a phone call. I'm sure it will mean a lot.

Re: The Holidays

Kitty Galore — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 01:35:56 GMT

@Jordan2 I always think of those that aren't looking forward to the holidays. It isn't all fun and joy for everyone . I have had those years in the past . Thankfully I'm blessed to not for many years , but I've never forgotten the feeling . I'm very sorry that you will be sad at holiday time they tend to really empathize it as well . As @on the bay wrote I will be thinking of you in spirit .

Re: The Holidays

SouthernBee — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 01:40:52 GMT

@Jordan2 :I understand what you are saying. My Mother died in 1977 and I was 22, single and one brother and he passed in 2014.Everything is different and I don't like the holidays but refused to give up. I stay busy during the holidays , trying not to think about previous holidays.

Re: The Holidays

gidgetgh — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 01:43:35 GMT

@monicakm wrote:
I'm sorry @gidgetgh. I wish you had neighbors you could count on to invite you for dinner. I guess there is no getting around the fact that some are very lonely during holidays. I hate that. Is there anything you can do on Thursday? I don't know what size city you're in but are there soup kitchens or churches that are serving meals? If you're able, you could help with one of those organizations.

@monicakm - I live in Metro Atlanta and I wouldn't feel comfortable at all driving downtown by myself to places I'm not familiar with. I'm not aware of any churches in my area doing anything.

Holidays are just to be gotten through for me. That's just the truth. I do spend Christmas Day at my sister's house and am thankful for that, but it's just not the same with my parents and my husband gone. And my sister and I both agree that Christmas hasn't been the same since our mom died.

I'm not a total sad sack though. 🙂. Several in our neighborhood are getting together for a potluck and token gift exchange a few weeks before Christmas and I'm looking forward to that as well as a group lunch with friends next week. And I do some charity giving and things for others this season that make me really happy. And I do put out a few decorations. I don't sit here crying or anything. It's just that too many life changing events have just changed the holidays for me.

Re: The Holidays

Sooner — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 01:45:50 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
So, Thursday is Thanksgiving which starts the holiday season with Christmas, Chanukah, New Year's Eve, and New Years Day to follow. For many of us ( myself included) this is a lonely and sad time. People at work mean well and ask what your plans are for Thanksgiving, I usually make something up. Since my mother died the holidays haven't been the same, I just feel like I'm just trying to make it to the new year. For those that will be celebrating Thanksgiving I hope you enjoy being with family and friends. I'll be around for every holiday to check in.

@Jordan2 I am so sorry you ae hurting. Please make an effort to make the day special for you in your own way. No, the holidays aren't the same, and lots of us are without the family they had at this time of the year.

Don't expect it to be as it was, but treat yourself to some things you like to eat and do, dress up or dress down as you please, and make the day low key with things you usually don't indulge in--candy? A cake? Pie?

You can celebrate you, relax, remember good times and be thankful you had them. Some never do. And remember not everyone is having a crowd and a big meal and a party. We aren't, but are blessed to have the two of us. We are old and it is what it is. And please make the best of it for you! You deserve it.

And when people ask, say you are looking forward to a day off and some treats. And be ready with an answer if you get an invitation. You could also take part or volunteer at a shelter or church doing a meal.

Re: The Holidays

SouthernBee — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 01:49:55 GMT

@Sooner : Well stated and totally agree and understand.

Re: The Holidays

Seminole2 — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 01:55:08 GMT

@Jordan2 and @gidgetgh I get it. My mom passed at the end of last year before Thanksgiving. I got through them last year but this year it's different. Reality bell has gone off. I never had kids. My DH has one child who staying at home in Alabama this year. He's not married either. My only brother died 10 days before Christmas in 2016. So the holidays aren't the same since then. But I invite my neighbors and other friends for Thanksgiving that don't have anyone and we have a good time. Christmas this year we are going out of town. Told hubby Sunday that I cannot be here this year. It's not the same as you say. Just know that a lot of us carry around a lot in our little wagons and we are loved.

Re: The Holidays

Sooner — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 02:03:26 GMT

@monicakm wrote:
I'm sorry @Jordan2 . It's tough to "celebrate" when our loved one is gone. This will be the first Thanksgiving and Christmas without my mother. I can't cook because of my back and DH is in the woods at the Davy Crockett National Forest deer hunting. So I'm taking a pumpkin pie and a can of whipped cream to the Assisted Living facility dad lives in. He's mostly unresponsive but when we were there yesterday, he was pretty chatty. Couldn't understand most of what he said but he thought he was funny (g)

@monicakm I have been in your shoes many years. I hope you have a good dad visit. When you do it is a blessing you will treasure, but even a good visit is difficult in your situation. My heart goes out to everyone dealing with loved ones in care facilities. I hope you have a blessed day.

Re: The Holidays

rockygems123 — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 02:18:53 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
So, Thursday is Thanksgiving which starts the holiday season with Christmas, Chanukah, New Year's Eve, and New Years Day to follow. For many of us ( myself included) this is a lonely and sad time. People at work mean well and ask what your plans are for Thanksgiving, I usually make something up. Since my mother died the holidays haven't been the same, I just feel like I'm just trying to make it to the new year. For those that will be celebrating Thanksgiving I hope you enjoy being with family and friends. I'll be around for every holiday to check in.

@Jordan2.

I wish we had some kind of regional directory, where we could search for fellow posters from here in our area.

In some ways we have become family and I'll be looking for your Thanksgiving post and we'll all cheer together.

Re: The Holidays

Jordan2 — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 02:23:34 GMT

OP here, thank you all for your kind words and understanding. I will make myself a nice dinner and a special dessert and will binge watch some shows. I have a sister but she and her family always go to her sister-in-law for Thanksgiving. I had a brother who died much too early, I miss him a lot. My mother and I were extremely close, I miss her the most.

Re: The Holidays

lynnie61 — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 03:31:25 GMT

@Jordan2. I'm so sorry you are having trouble with the holiday season. I am glad you are taking steps to still have a good meal, some dessert, and some binge watching. I would so much know I would have you to dinner. My small family is getting smaller. My dads health is starting to fail. My sister and I have (she has a husband and I have a SO, but we still feel alone) My SO lost his dad last year too.

We never had children, and a few good friends of mine don't have children either. As we grow older, it does get scary. For many years, my dad invited others who were alone, or didn't have children or family near by, to his home on Christmas Eve. It made for some great Christmas Eve's with my mom being gone for so long. I miss her alot and it's 24 years. I think it's never the same without our moms.

Try to have a good day. I have friends near Ashville that 2 months later they still have no water service. The media is gone, and people forget. I will keep everyone struggling in my prayers.

Has your sister invited you to her sister in laws? Or maybe hasn't. Or maybe you would feel uncomfortable there. I will be thinking of you Thursday and through out the holiday season. Take care my friend.

Re: The Holidays

Puppy Lips — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 03:36:47 GMT

I can honesty say that I have never been a fan of the holidays. I suppose as a kid I liked it. But once I was married and had kids, I found the whole season to be overwhelming and exhausting, always feeling like I didn’t do enough, bake enough, decorate enough. And no matter when I started all my prep, I always wish I had an extra week or two. This year will be the same. Now that I have grandkids and our parents are all gone, it makes me sad that time is going by so quickly. The holidays just emphasise that fact. January 2 is my favourite day as that is a time to start fresh and move on. To the OP, I am sorry you are feeling this way. Think pleasant thoughts and we can all get through this together and come out the other side and move forward.

Re: The Holidays

dimin — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 03:53:46 GMT

i wish I could skip all holidays. I don't like them, i dread them.

Re: The Holidays

Zhills — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 03:59:52 GMT

I just try to pretend it is July...just celebrating on a different day! It helps!

Re: The Holidays

Sooner — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 04:14:05 GMT

@monicakm wrote:
Thank you @Sooner
As a Christian, like my parents and brother, I am 110% positive that my mother and brother are in a far better place and in perfect health. This knowledge gets me thru life (on this earth) without them. I have times when I feel I NEED my mom and feel sadder that she will never be here again but it's short lived and I think about her beautiful, perfect self that will live, pain-free, forever. I can't be sad about that. Mom and I could talk about things we didn't talk to anyone else about. I miss that. I miss her telling me, "this too shall pass". I miss making her laugh. BUT, I look forward to the time I'm with her again. I look forward to seeing my parents together again. They were so in love!

@monicakm You said what I feel in my heart. Mom died this year after a 10 year stay in a nursing home, and I felt blessed that she had a peaceful passing, not long bedridden and she was the last of her family.

Re: The Holidays

occasionalrain — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 04:56:38 GMT

Holidays bring to mind those who are no longer among us. We're remindered of how holidays once were and never will be again.