topic Re: Holiday table seating question in Community Chat

Holiday table seating question

petepetey — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 12:53:56 GMT

Do you fit all of your holiday guests around one table or do you have more tables you use to create space for all?

My sister has a growing family of adults/babies. Right now christmas dinner will be for 12.

She only has one dining room table that she just bought and it seats 8 comfortably and maybe 10 if you squish. She refused at first to set up another table (card table type) and seat people at a nearby table.

So, she thought she would opt out of a meal and just have walking around appetizers---For Christmas dinner, perhaps one of the best meals of the year.

My 91 year old mother calmly suggested she was not a fan of that and my sister opted to back down and have 2 tables.

She just loathes the idea of 2 tables---like everyone in this country has tables that seat ALL of their guests in one spot.

Thoughts?

Re: Holiday table seating question

Bri369 — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:03:59 GMT

I think it's best to set up another table to accomodate everyone comfortably. The only time I've seen people walking around eating is at sn open-house type situation. I feel that can be awkward to try to juggle a plate of food and a drink.

Re: Holiday table seating question

CalminHeart — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:06:48 GMT

It depends on how many people are present, size of the table, and how much space you have.

There are 42 in my immediate family - 7 siblings and all our families, grands, etc. Only 1 person in my family has room to put tables end to end to look like we are all at one table.

Tables don't really matter to my family. There is always laughter and banter among everyone. We have a good time no matter where or how we sit for dinner.

Re: Holiday table seating question

Lilysmom1 — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:08:04 GMT

There were 12 people in my immediate family. When you start adding in spouses, partners, kids, etc it quickly adds up. We had a large table that seated 10-12 and there was always a second table where the youngest of the family sat. No one cared. Both were dressed in the finest linen, china and silver. Both tables were in the same room.

In my home, when we have more than our large dining room can accommodate. We add a table to the end of our dining room table. Our dining room is a separate large room so we can do this without congestion.

Personally, I would never opt out of the best meal of the year for snacks and appetizers. I would rather not have the dinner than do that. Just my opinion. I think two tables are fine.

Re: Holiday table seating question

candys mine — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:16:09 GMT

@petepetey We Had the luck of having Livingroom and Diningroom connected through and archway so, in essence, had one Long room to accomidate 25+ people/kids.

We had the leaves in the diningroom table and a long fold away plank table end to end with that going through the archway.

The large Cards table became the Kids table.

With the tablecloths( Paper ) you didn't see the tables anyway. Nearly Shoulder to shoulder just made it more of a Family Gathering Event than a formal dinner.

That plank table made the rounds to whomever was hosting the big dinner that year.

In our family after dinner the womenfolk and kids would Do the dishes and kettles and talk about Thanksgivings past. AKA pass on Family history. After Dishes were done Then Dessert was served.

Remind Her to TAKE PICTURES!

Re: Holiday table seating question

Isobel Archer — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:16:48 GMT

We have a dining room table that with both leaves can seat 22. I would also be happy to set up card tables.

What I don't like however, is when people - who are not hosting - want to complain that the people who are - aren't doing it to their satisfaction.

Maybe the OP should offer to host instead, since show obviously knows how to do it properly.

Re: Holiday table seating question

jubilant — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:18:55 GMT

We have always had a big dining area where we can put tables end to end. My daughter has that now but for years she didn't. When comparing seating arrangements, for me personally, I like having everyone in the same room at the same table. It makes for great conversation.

That's just my preference but any way you can do it, as long as your together, that's the important thing.

Re: Holiday table seating question

CalminHeart — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:22:37 GMT

@petepetey wrote:

Your sister needs to get a grip. It's not a big deal if she has 2 tables. Why make people uncomfortable and squished?

Just appetizers for Thanksgiving is not copacetic in my book.

Re: Holiday table seating question

Isobel Archer — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:29:43 GMT

@CalminHeart wrote:
@petepetey wrote:

Your sister needs to get a grip. It's not a big deal if she has 2 tables. Why make people uncomfortable and squished?

Just appetizers for Thanksgiving is not copacetic in my book.

First of all this is not Thanksgiving, but a Christmas event.

Second it could very well be that the woman has experienced people complaining about whether they got to sit at the "main" table or the "other" one. I have seen that and it's not pretty.

Again, if people want it their way, maybe they should host.

Re: Holiday table seating question

Carmie — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:31:07 GMT

I use two tables and my breakfast area in the kitchen to seat everyone.

My dining room table seats 14 people, my kitchen table seats 10 and my kitchen bar seats 4.

Most people prefer to sit in my kitchen and those seats are always taken first.( Just what I need when preparing food....people in my kitchen) I try to get them to hang out elsewhere, but they never do.

Re: Holiday table seating question

CelticCrafter — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:33:04 GMT

Just pass around appetizers for a Christmas meal?

No, if she wants to do that, break tradition and do it for Christmas Eve then she can have Christmas dinner all alone at her big table.

Re: Holiday table seating question

LindaSal — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:34:07 GMT

I no longer have a big crowd for Thanksgiving but when I did I always had another table set up. Really you are only seated in one spot to enjoy the meal and afterwards everyone mingles. It's the hostess's obligation to make her company comfortable, IMO.

Re: Holiday table seating question

Isobel Archer — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:34:50 GMT

@CelticCrafter wrote:
Just pass around appetizers for a Christmas meal?

No, if she wants to do that, break tradition and do it for Christmas Eve then she can have Christmas dinner all alone at her big table.

Given the complaints and judgment - maybe she would prefer that.

Re: Holiday table seating question

Marp — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:35:05 GMT

@Isobel Archer wrote:
We have a dining room table that with both leaves can seat 22. I would also be happy to set up card tables.

What I don't like however, is when people - who are not hosting - want to complain that the people who are - aren't doing it to their satisfaction.

Maybe the OP should offer to host instead, since show obviously knows how to do it properly.

@Isobel Archer, the OP stated: So, she thought she would opt out of a meal and just have walking around appetizers---For Christmas dinner, perhaps one of the best meals of the year.

Out of curiosity what would your feelings be if invited to "Christmas dinner" and ended up being served "walking around appetizers"?

Christmas dinner is a far cry from what would essentially be a gathering more like a cocktail party. It would be one thing if that was made clear but is another if one is expecting dinner.

Re: Holiday table seating question

Isobel Archer — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:39:31 GMT

@Marp wrote:
@Isobel Archer wrote:
We have a dining room table that with both leaves can seat 22. I would also be happy to set up card tables.

What I don't like however, is when people - who are not hosting - want to complain that the people who are - aren't doing it to their satisfaction.

Maybe the OP should offer to host instead, since show obviously knows how to do it properly.
@Isobel Archer, the OP stated: So, she thought she would opt out of a meal and just have walking around appetizers---For Christmas dinner, perhaps one of the best meals of the year.

Out of curiosity what would your feelings be if invited to "Christmas dinner" and ended up being served "walking around appetizers"?

Christmas dinner is a far cry from what would essentially be a gathering more like a cocktail party. It would be one thing if that was made clear but is another if one is expecting dinner.

@Marp I would be grateful to be invited. If I felt that I had to have a large Christmas dinner, I would offer to host it myself - and I do that - Christmas and Thanksgiving - 22 people - full meal, appetizers and dessert, drinks - the whole thing.

Instead of "expecting" others to do all the work, I am grateful for what they offer. And in this case, it is clear what is offered so it would not be a surprise when guests arrived.

Re: Holiday table seating question

Neetgal2 — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:39:33 GMT

Re: Holiday table seating question

Isobel Archer — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:43:50 GMT

The other thing I don't understand is that apparently the sister has now agreed to set up another table and do the full dinner.

So what, exactly, is the point of now bashing her on this thread?

Re: Holiday table seating question

Neetgal2 — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:45:42 GMT

I saw a situation of a big family dinner early on. I had a nice dining room table with two extension leaves. Someone made me a third, although not the size of the others just that would fit in the space. I also had the opening archway between the living room and dining room widen so I could accommodate everyone at one table. Eventually, we outgrew it. We sat the three grandchildren further out in the living room at first a child's table, then a card table. Now it's at the point everybody is everywhere and we no longer do this and the family has shrunk in size .☹️🍽️

Re: Holiday table seating question

50Mickey — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:45:58 GMT

@Isobel Archer wrote:
@Marp wrote:
@Isobel Archer wrote:
We have a dining room table that with both leaves can seat 22. I would also be happy to set up card tables.

What I don't like however, is when people - who are not hosting - want to complain that the people who are - aren't doing it to their satisfaction.

Maybe the OP should offer to host instead, since show obviously knows how to do it properly.
@Isobel Archer, the OP stated: So, she thought she would opt out of a meal and just have walking around appetizers---For Christmas dinner, perhaps one of the best meals of the year.

Out of curiosity what would your feelings be if invited to "Christmas dinner" and ended up being served "walking around appetizers"?

Christmas dinner is a far cry from what would essentially be a gathering more like a cocktail party. It would be one thing if that was made clear but is another if one is expecting dinner.
@Marp I would be grateful to be invited. If I felt that I had to have a large Christmas dinner, I would offer to host it myself - and I do that - Christmas and Thanksgiving - 22 people - full meal, appetizers and dessert, drinks - the whole thing.

Instead of "expecting" others to do all the work, I am grateful for what they offer. And in this case, it is clear what is offered so it would not be a surprise when guests arrived.

@Isobel Archer Isn't it funny how the people who are not hosting the event always want to set the rules and tell the host how and what to serve for the event? If someone invites me to their home I am fine with whatever is being served, walking around or seated. If I expect things to be done my way then I host the event. And I've done this many times.

Re: Holiday table seating question

Desertdi — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:46:33 GMT

My parents always hosted a holiday meal at a local "fine dining" restaurant. (SOME of my relatives racked up a huge bar bill, too.)