topic Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement? in Community Chat

Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

JoyFilled Warrior — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 01:21:11 GMT

Hi @Forum_Friends

EACH & EVERY person, without fail, who comes into my home, (whether I know them well, or a relative stranger), help themselves, man-handle my home's items. They pick them up, look them over more closely, & shake them, or smell them, whichever seems indicated.

Often they say: "I could really use this item." Like my home is some kind of Gift Shop!

My mouth drops open, in shock, EVERY TIME.

You'd think Id get used to this, but instead, it continues to shock me! The "Entitlement" they think they have!

This never, ever fails with a visitor!

Now, granted, I do have some nice, sometimes innovative items, or items I've taken great care of.

But, I was raised, certainly, NEVER to help ourselves, & pick up, handle, inspect a person's home items, (let alone also say "I could really use this item.")

One person came here, who I know, & as I was in the kitchen, making us a Cappuccino, she'd reached over, apparently helping herself to my HSN wig boxes, & *BAM* tipped over my remaining 2 other wig boxes. No apology. Not embarrassed, what so ever. As if, ENTITLED.

2 days ago, the 2 young girls I pay to empty trash, picked up a flowered, sachet envelope on the desk beside my front door. Shaking it, Smelling it. She hugged it, as if intending to walk away with it. Then she picked up the remaining one & handed it to her nearby cousin, at her elbow, who hesitated, then hugged the sachet she'd given to her. The audacity! Shocked, yet again, my mouth dropped.

Overnight, I hung up "TOUCH NOTHING" signs all over items here. Made no difference!

When the same 2 young girls came over again today, the cousin helped herself to the exact same kind of, newly replaced, sachet envelope on the table beside the door. She helped herself to it, smelling it again. I looked at her & pointed to the nearby sign that reads, "TOUCH NOTHING."

She was OFFENDED!! Giving me Attitude - Like touching, picking up my items was her birth right; My obligation to let her!

I asked her,, "what'd you do with the one you already have?" She said, "It's on my dresser." I felt like saying: "Well go smell your own! Leave my own remaining one alone!"

Is this the norm now, in society?

And NO "PLEASE" & NO "THANK YOU"

And NO "APOLOGIZE" any more.

~ ~ ENTITLEMENT? ~ ~

No embarrassment? No shame? No hesitation?

(Ppl coming over yr home, helping themselves, to lift up, & pick over your house items, (plus, often saying, "I could really use this."))

And they give back "Attitude" when they're caught, deterred, or denied!

Does facsimile above ever happen to you??

Do you notice any exhibited increase in *ENTITLEMENT* in ppl now? TIA

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

Love my grandkids — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 01:38:35 GMT

@JoyFilled Warrior Instead of telling US this stuff, you need to act like an adult and tell them, loudly, to LEAVE MY STUFF THE HECK ALONE and demand those girls return the **stolen** items. You are a grown woman and need to act like one.

And pointing at a sign means nothing.

Maybe stop letting so many people in your home and tell THEM to knock it off too.

And I would fire those 2 thieving girls and tell them why. Are you grown up enough to do that? I know you think you are helping them but now they are stealing from you.

What are you gonna do?

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

cindyNC — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 01:45:47 GMT

That same behavior drives us crazy w/the BF's grandkids. We have taken to removing items we prefer they not touch or walk off with.

The first time it happend, their mother said she found money in her daughter's pockets. My BF empties coins from his pockets into little containers in the kitchen. They have snooped thru closets looking for items that I often have on hand when they visit and always assume that whatever they find is theirs to take home....even if they already have the same item at home.

They are a bit older now, so it happens less and less often.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

Love my grandkids — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 16:04:13 GMT

@monicakm I don't think "most" kids are the subject of bad parenting. I don't like sweeping generalizations. My son and his wife raised kind, polite, young adult children. I know many younger people who are equally nice and respectful. Sorry it sounds like you don't and that's too bad.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

deeva — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 01:56:12 GMT

I've never experienced anything like you're describing.
Plus, I don't have people coming in and out of my house on a regular basis.

When my grandkids were little, anything I didn't want them to touch, I put out of their reach.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

Kachina624 — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 01:58:23 GMT

@JoyFilled Warrior. You must have some interesting objects sitting out in your public areas. As I see it, your choices are to remove these objects and display them in bedrooms with closed doors.

Or quit allowing these ill-mannered people into your home. Get some backbone and tell newcomers you have some fragile items that they shouldn't touch. If they want to see something, they should tell you and you'll show it to them.

Just remember, your house, your rules, but it's up to you to enforce them. Violators don't come back.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

Group 5 minus 1 — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 01:58:31 GMT

Haven't heard the term,"gives attitude" in years.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

QVCkitty1 — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 02:03:54 GMT

I think there is a sense of entitlement among all ages. The daughter of a friend , who is a server, tells me stories about customers who treat her like a servant and their behavior is appalling.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

shoesnbags — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 02:23:26 GMT

@JoyFilled Warrior

No, I've never had this problem because I control who comes into my house, not the other way around. If someone picked up something they shouldn't I would immediately tell them to put it down. If it happened again, that person would never be allowed inside my house again. I can't imagine being so timid in my own home that I would let people handle things they shouldn't and even steal them. Good grief.

Re: Notice Iase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

luvmybeetle — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 02:25:42 GMT

My opinion is that you need to get some guts and tell whomever to keep their hands off.

As for grandchildren, if my grandson had ever touched anything he wasn't supposed to touch I would be there to let him know very sternly. I'm not afraid to let people know how I feel.

But again, I still feel people are not raising their children properly with no discipline.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

qbetzforreal — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 04:18:20 GMT

We don't have this problem because the people who visit our home have manners.

This is not a case of chutzpah or entitlement, it's case of bad manners.

It you wish for people not touch your belongings then you need to express that verbally. Especially to the trash taker outers. They should just come in get the trash and exit. No lingering.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

spumoni99 — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 04:40:28 GMT

Seems like you need to associate with a better degree of moral caliber.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

chrystaltree — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 05:23:01 GMT

Of course such bizarre behavior is not the norm in society. I don't even understand it. Sure occasionally one person might exhibit rude behavior like this but certainly not every person enters be someone's home. This isn't an example of entitlement. Entitlement is something different. Since this happens to you so often, you need to take control of what happens in your own home. When a guest arrives, seat them in the living room and make them stay there. If you are serving snacks bring them into the living room. Put your valuables and collectables away. It's ok to say "please don't touch that, it's delicate". Simply letting these things happen in your home only encourages. It's obvious that the people no class and no respect for your home so you need to take control.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

Tinkrbl44 — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 07:16:13 GMT

@JoyFilled Warrior

I can't imagine tolerating that kind of behavior.

You need new friends.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

Group 5 minus 1 — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 10:37:18 GMT

Was it good attitude or bad attitude? Needs an adjective.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

jlkz — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 11:27:53 GMT

@JoyFilled Warrior

Please reread @shoesnbags post.

Your timidity at calling attention to bad behavior, giving it its real name ( stealing ), and finally directing the offending party / parties to leave immediately actually makes you part of the problem. In its own way, you are enabling them to continue.

Paper signs do not work: Your voice cannot be ignored and should contain your true emotion...outrage, anger, etc.

Final direction: return items taken and / or never come back. Replace these disrespectful characters with recommended ones. You get what you demand / require.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

LTT1 — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 11:42:00 GMT

@JoyFilled Warrior @jlkz @Group 5 minus 1 @chrystaltree @chrystaltree

My suggestion:

say

"I believe we need to have a talk about how my things are treated when you visit".

Then, when you have their attention: "My rules are that you are to ask me before touching my possessions. Then, I will show the items to you.
Please (the first time) wait to touch my possessions until after I have given approval".

Why not make this clear through communication?

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

Mj12 — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 11:56:13 GMT

If I got to the point where I felt had to put up a TOUCH NOTHING sign I'd probably first consider exactly who I am welcoming into my home.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

Lucky Dog — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 12:06:41 GMT

No way am I going to hang a sign in my house.

Re: Notice Increase in Chutzpah? - or - Entitlement?

CalminHeart — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 12:22:33 GMT

@JoyFilled Warrior wrote:
Hi @Forum_Friends

EACH & EVERY person, without fail, who comes into my home, (whether I know them well, or a relative stranger), help themselves, man-handle my home's items. They pick them up, look them over more closely, & shake them, or smell them, whichever seems indicated.
Often they say: "I could really use this item." Like my home is some kind of Gift Shop!
My mouth drops open, in shock, EVERY TIME.
You'd think Id get used to this, but instead, it continues to shock me! The "Entitlement" they think they have!

This never, ever fails with a visitor!
Now, granted, I do have some nice, sometimes innovative items, or items I've taken great care of.

But, I was raised, certainly, NEVER to help ourselves, & pick up, handle, inspect a person's home items, (let alone also say "I could really use this item.")

One person came here, who I know, & as I was in the kitchen, making us a Cappuccino, she'd reached over, apparently helping herself to my HSN wig boxes, & *BAM* tipped over my remaining 2 other wig boxes. No apology. Not embarrassed, what so ever. As if, ENTITLED.

2 days ago, the 2 young girls I pay to empty trash, picked up a flowered, sachet envelope on the desk beside my front door. Shaking it, Smelling it. She hugged it, as if intending to walk away with it. Then she picked up the remaining one & handed it to her nearby cousin, at her elbow, who hesitated, then hugged the sachet she'd given to her. The audacity! Shocked, yet again, my mouth dropped.

Overnight, I hung up "TOUCH NOTHING" signs all over items here.   Made no difference!

When the same 2 young girls came over again today, the cousin helped herself to the exact same kind of, newly replaced, sachet envelope on the table beside the door. She helped herself to it, smelling it again. I looked at her & pointed to the nearby sign that reads, "TOUCH NOTHING."
    She was OFFENDED!! Giving me Attitude - Like touching, picking up my items was her birth right; My obligation to let her!
    I asked her,, "what'd you do with the one you already have?" She said, "It's on my dresser." I felt like saying: "Well go smell your own! Leave my own remaining one alone!"

Is this the norm now, in society?

And     NO "PLEASE" &    NO "THANK YOU"
And    NO   "APOLOGIZE"   any more.

       ~ ~ ENTITLEMENT? ~ ~
No embarrassment?     No shame?    No hesitation?

(Ppl coming over yr home, helping themselves, to lift up, & pick over your house items, (plus, often saying, "I could really use this."))
   And they give back "Attitude" when they're caught, deterred, or denied!

Does facsimile above ever happen to you??

Do you notice any exhibited increase in *ENTITLEMENT*   in ppl now? TIA

I call it natural human behavior and nothing to think twice about.

Have you considered putting everything under glass or in a glass cabinet?