topic Re: RSVP in Community Chat

RSVP

Biftu — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 02:20:55 GMT

I am hosting a special birthday for a special friend. Invitations went out with a requested RSVP date by October 1st. The restaurant needs a final count with my menu choices the first week of October. There are those who have not yet responded who I expected would attend.

Should I send out a reminder by the end of the month, or should I just assume they will not be attending?

Re: RSVP

sunshine45 — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 02:24:30 GMT

they still have about three weeks to respond....that is a lot of time.

i would probably send out an email on the 30th as a follow up.

Re: RSVP

Tori3569 — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 02:24:33 GMT

I'd send a reminder around 9/21 but would call or text anyone I hadn't heard from by the 28th. Some people are just weird with RSVPs--they either ignore the date or assume you'd know what they're doing. I learned that very quickly with my wedding.

Re: RSVP

haddon9 — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 02:36:59 GMT

I have an invite to a baby shower Oct 4. The RSVP is for Sept 21 and you just reminded me that I need to give them a call.

I think that I you don't hear then I would send out an email but if the RSVP is not for a few weeks give them a chance to respond.

Re: RSVP

Love my grandkids — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 02:38:21 GMT

@Biftu I would text or email BEFORE the end of the month. I'd say around the 21st . Let them know that RSVP means RSVP.

Re: RSVP

Janey2 — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 02:49:28 GMT

@ @Biftu You wrote they have until Oct. 1 to RSVP. You should have made the RSVP a week before if you have to let the venue know the first week in Oct. Why assume they are not attending if they have until Oct. 1?

Re: RSVP

beach-mom — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 03:08:10 GMT

@Biftu - I too would send out a gentle reminder around the 23rd or 24th. You could say something like you just want to remind them because the restaurant needs a count. If you don't hear back then I would count them out.

Re: RSVP

LizzieInSRQ — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 10:37:29 GMT

If you dont hear from them by the date you gave them, Oct 1, count them out. Its really that simple.

Re: RSVP

Carolina925 — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 11:10:04 GMT

Apparently there is a whole big chunk of people who do not know what RSVP means. I just had a friend who was planning a very large and expensive formal wedding for her daughter. She was going crazy not receiving RSVPs from her invitees. I understand that there may be some who may not know if, because of certain circumstances, they will be able to attend, but just gaffing it off completely is very rude. Not sure if a follow-up email would work in these cases but guess it would be worth a try.

Re: RSVP

LTT1 — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 12:05:53 GMT

@Biftu @Carolina925

I would explain that "

due to the fact that the plans include RESTAURANT, those who do not reply with an RSVP by Oct 1 will not be included"

This might sound harsh, but the onus is on them.
They are being very rude! 🛑

Re: RSVP

San Antonio Gal — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 12:12:19 GMT

Since you gave them until Oct 1st to reply, they have plenty of time to respond. If you don't hear by the 29th, perhaps text or email or even a phone call to certain ones.

Re: RSVP

Group 5 minus 1 — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 12:16:21 GMT

Texting ,e-mail, phoning is a little silly. If they show up and there is no space for them. Too bad.

Re: RSVP

faeriemoon — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 12:16:39 GMT

I am often a late RSVP-er. Sometimes it's difficult to RSVP early because we anticipate other obligations around the time of the event and therefore aren't sure of our availibility until a time closer to the RSVP date. If you gave them until October 1, you can't be annoyed (yet) that you haven't heard from a lot of people.

Re: RSVP

We rescue cats — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 12:37:10 GMT

This is so sad but I think it is a statement about the social mores today, or where they are heading. So many folks don't seem to understand that a commitment needs to be made to the friend and/or the restaurant. I was just talking to a friend who is going thru the same thing she said 2 people told her that they were waiting to make sure they didn't get any other invitations that they wanted to attend. I would have told them that I would make it easier for them and withdraw mine.

Re: RSVP

Group 5 minus 1 — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 12:39:30 GMT

@Biftu Of course, if someone shows up w/out an RSVP you are free to tell them whatever. But there is not enuff food to go 'round so those that did RSVP are first in line.

Re: RSVP

Group 5 minus 1 — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 12:42:32 GMT

@faeriemoon :Well,aren't you special?

Re: RSVP

faeriemoon — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 13:11:06 GMT

@Group 5 minus 1 wrote:
@faeriemoon :Well,aren't you special?

@Group 5 minus 1 And what exactly is your problem?

Re: RSVP

faeriemoon — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 13:18:20 GMT

@We rescue cats wrote:
This is so sad but I think it is a statement about the social mores today, or where they are heading. So many folks don't seem to understand that a commitment needs to be made to the friend and/or the restaurant. I was just talking to a friend who is going thru the same thing she said 2 people told her that they were waiting to make sure they didn't get any other invitations that they wanted to attend. I would have told them that I would make it easier for them and withdraw mine.

That's pretty insulting, and I would have done the same.

My comments (above, who someone had a problem with) referred to obligations, not "a better offer." For example, I have a mother who has some health issues, business commitments, etc. I would just want to make sure I was in the clear to respond yes and not have to worry about reneging on my response.

Re: RSVP

Group 5 minus 1 — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 13:18:42 GMT

@faeriemoon Here is my prob: You are so busy you cannot even RSVP.

Re: RSVP

Citrine1 — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 13:21:26 GMT

People are rude, rude, rude! I can't stand when I ask someone to RSVP by a certain date and they don't. Common courtesy seems to be a thing of the past.

On the other hand, I was invited to a wedding recently. With a month still left to respond, I had the mother of the bride call me and very indignantly ask if I would be attending as they hadn't heard from me yet. I was on the fence about going and her call helped make my decision.

While I sympathize with your situation, I think you have to honor the date you gave people to RSVP by.

As others have suggested, perhaps an e-mail or text the day before as a reminder that you have not yet heard from them.