topic Re: Obituary Pictures in Community Chat

Obituary Pictures

781Florist — Mon, 13 May 2024 09:30:28 GMT

Now that we live in the digital age and most newspapers

are defunct, I often check the funeral home obituaries in my town online.

Something I've noticed for a few years now has puzzled me.

Often I will see an obit and it jumps out at me because the individual in the picture is in their 20s, 30s, or 40s.

(Which, while certainly possible is generally not the time of life that most folks pass.)

However when reading the obituary it will say what date the person passed and then something like "He (She) was 79" (Or even late 80s etc...)

Does anyone else think that is strange? I would think a picture of yourself that actually looks like who you are

would help to notify folks of your passing.

I guess people who knew you 40 years ago would be helped!

Re: Obituary Pictures

AngelPuppy1 — Mon, 13 May 2024 09:42:58 GMT

I think probably some people use a picture of when they probably felt they were at their best or looked their best! I know for myself I have done my final plans and I submitted a picture for my obit from about 15 years ago. It still looks like me but I felt I looked really nice in it and not the way I look now, which I am not happy about.

Re: Obituary Pictures

avid shopper — Mon, 13 May 2024 10:05:10 GMT

I think it is weird too. I have seen, occasionally, obits with both a picture of youth and current. That's a little better.

Re: Obituary Pictures

CalminHeart — Mon, 13 May 2024 11:19:27 GMT

It's up to the family or deceased's wishes as to what picture is used. It doesn't matter to the rest of us. It's one of those myob issues.

My dad died at Christmas. We got down to 2 pictures....one was fairly recent and one was 20 years ago. There are 7 of us kids. The majority wanted the 20 year old picture. While I didn't like using it, it's still Dad.

Re: Obituary Pictures

DrakesMomma — Mon, 13 May 2024 11:41:23 GMT

I know without a doubt if I die before my husband he will use a self portrait I did when I was 20 years old. It is his favorite picture of me.

Re: Obituary Pictures

charsha — Mon, 13 May 2024 11:34:51 GMT

When my Mom passed, the family opted to use a photo of her in her 20's. She looked like a movie star. She died at 94, and was very young looking for her age. I would have opted for a more recent photo next to the earilier one, as more people would have recognized her in her current day, and maybe not pass by the actual obit. JMO

Re: Obituary Pictures

ThinkingOutLoud — Mon, 13 May 2024 12:07:18 GMT

I like seeing the 'back then' photos - it's like a step back in time. It's fun to see the clothes/hairstyles of that era and the quaility of the photos seems different.

I also like the idea of using both a mid-20s and a more recent photo. Kind of like a 'now and then' thing.

To me, an obit is about how you want to be remembered and that would include the way you look.

Re: Obituary Pictures

Iwantcoffee — Mon, 13 May 2024 12:05:02 GMT

No. I don't think it is strange. Family should use the picture they like for their love one. I do think it is unkind to criticize people for what they do after a love ones dies. One of my twins passed away at 30 and his obit was a picture in his younger years that I loved of him.

Re: Obituary Pictures

Carolina925 — Mon, 13 May 2024 12:12:03 GMT

It's always seemed strange to me. I live in a community that's heavy on retired people who have come here through the years. I'm guessing the pictures are more for people the deceased knew when they were younger and for where they originally came from. I do like when the family shares pictures from the deceased past on the obits posted by the funeral homes. There was a lady I knew from school, many years ago, who had Alzheimer's and her face had drastically changed. This lady was very beautiful in her younger days, looking possibly like a Hollywood starlet when they were so beautiful. The picture the family chose for her obit was a present picture in her hospital bed where one could not even imagine it was the same person. To each his/her own, and, while I don't completely agree what those left behind do, I understand there may be reasons, even if I don't understand them.

Re: Obituary Pictures

Travone — Mon, 13 May 2024 12:19:38 GMT

I have friends in the funeral business and I asked them about this awhile ago.

Families di this because many friends haven't seen the deceased for years and would not recognize them from a current picture. The older picture is so old friends can recognize them.

Re: Obituary Pictures

Eileen in Virginia — Mon, 13 May 2024 12:43:23 GMT

When my 98 year old Aunt died last year, we used a picture that was probably taken about 10 years ago. It was taken at a professional portrait event hosted by her church and she just looked vibrant and lovely in it. In the last couple of years of her life, she looked very frail (physically) and her friends "back home" might not have recognized her. Although we had plenty of pictures of her as a young woman, the portrait we used was so nice that using it was a no brainer. We also used it for the prayer card distributed at her funeral.

Re: Obituary Pictures

candys mine — Mon, 13 May 2024 12:46:39 GMT

@Travone EXACTLY.

Re: Obituary Pictures

LindaSal — Mon, 13 May 2024 12:47:16 GMT

I get what the OP is saying. I've often wondered about that myself. We have a local free newspaper in our area that comes out once a week. I usually check the obits,

don't know why as I'm not that old but it amazes me (and depresses me) at some of the younger ages of people passing away. Anyway, regarding the photos I think a lot of older people just don't have many recent pictures. People don't seem to take a lot of them anymore, unless you're young and do a lot of selfies??

When my mom passed 12 years ago now (2012) we opted to use a picture of her from when my daughter was born in 1983. She looked beautiful in that photo at 49 years of age and actually didn't look that different when she passed at 77.

Re: Obituary Pictures

Stray — Mon, 13 May 2024 14:01:21 GMT

I also have thought about that. But as others said, many wouldn’t recognize a photo of the deceased if they were friends a long time ago.
A friend of mine just passed away & tho it wasn’t an old photo, it depicted his character; it showed the twinkle in his eyes. He was memorable for his great, dry wit & his eyes twinkled before he delivered a pithy remark. So the picture captured his outstanding feature. Im sure the family selected that particular picture because that expression was always present the entire 40 years I knew him. So a picture should capture the essence of the person not so much a time in his/her life. So if a person was always happy, smiling, laughing & healthy, that’s how he/she should be remembered or as people knew him/her.

Re: Obituary Pictures

RetRN — Mon, 13 May 2024 14:08:52 GMT

I like it when they use a picture of when they were in their prime, it is much more relatable to those who haven't seen them in many years.

Re: Obituary Pictures

Carmie — Mon, 13 May 2024 14:22:47 GMT

I don't think it is strange. I have seen old photos used for obits for as long as I can remember.

Last week, I saw one that was definitely a child. The person who passed was in his 50's. I was drawn to the picture and read the obit. The man was disabled and had disfigurements on his face because of his illness. You could see the child's face was not perfect, but it was probably better than his face he had now.

What ever the reasoning the family uses a younger picture is okay by me. Obits are super expensive. They are easily $1500 or more for the basic info and adding a picture makes them even more costly, so using two pics is cost prohibited for most. They used to be a couple of hundred dollars, but those days are gone.

If I pass first, I know the picture my husband will use for me. His favorite is the picture I had taken for my cosmotology license. He carries that pic in his wallet. I am only 18 in that pic.

Re: Obituary Pictures

Imaoldhippie — Mon, 13 May 2024 15:02:07 GMT

I thought most of the time that the deceased did not have a recent picture.

Re: Obituary Pictures

beckyb1012 — Mon, 13 May 2024 15:11:25 GMT

I prefer and really like the older photos of when they were younger. I especially love when the men are in their armed service uniforms from so many decades ago.

It gives us a visual window into their past life, not just words written by someone.

Re: Obituary Pictures

Kachina624 — Mon, 13 May 2024 16:57:42 GMT

I guess if the QVC face creams don't work, it's one way of off-setting wrinkles and appearing to be forever young.

Boggling my mind is the new practice of putting a QR code on the headstone where people can click with their cells to read the entire biographies of the deceased.

Imagine archeologists in 200 or more years trying to figure out what those things are.

Re: Obituary Pictures

Tinkrbl44 — Mon, 13 May 2024 18:10:02 GMT

I'm guessing that families often use the deceased's "favorite" pic, regardless of when it was taken.