topic Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days in Community Chat

Tough Several Upcoming Days

Jordan2 — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 01:49:17 GMT

Tomorrow January 26 kicks off three tough days for me. The 26th is my deceased mom's birthday, the 30th my deceased brother's birthday, and the 31st the 4th anniversary of my mother's death. I miss my mom and brother very much, these days are a reminder of how much.

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

bells4me — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 01:52:47 GMT

Sorry for your losses. Everyone has these days.

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

lynnie61 — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 01:55:33 GMT

@Jordan2 Take care. Wow, I can't believe it's four years for your mom already. I know it's tough. (((Hugs))). My mom will be gone 24 years this year and it seems like yesterday. I'm sorry for your losses.

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

Greeneyedlady21 — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 01:57:58 GMT

Yes the birthdays and anniversaries are so painful, allow yourself to grieve in whatever ways you want to.

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

Mersha — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 02:06:13 GMT

@Jordan2 Rather than looking at these upcoming days as difficult or tough, celebrate the fact that these special people shared a life with you. You were both blessed to have each other.

Maybe you could use the days to do something you did with them for enjoyment. They would most definitely want you to have a happy life and not be burdened or sad.

This is what I try to do with difficult days. Remember the happy times, not the sad.

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

ThinkingOutLoud — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 02:21:38 GMT

@Mersha wrote:
@Jordan2 Rather than looking at these upcoming days as difficult or tough, celebrate the fact that these special people shared a life with you. You were both blessed to have each other.

Maybe you could use the days to do something you did with them for enjoyment. They would most definitely want you to have a happy life and not be burdened or sad.

This is what I try to do with difficult days. Remember the happy times, not the sad.

Agree. Similiar to what I was going to post.

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

beach-mom — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 02:25:59 GMT

@Jordan2 - It is hard, and it hits us every time. Whether you are remembering the date of losing one loved one or more than one, like us, the sun doesn't seem to shine.

I try to get away from the house if I find myself home, and keep busy.

As a person of faith I find comfort in devotions and prayer.

We are here for you. We will be thinking of you and praying. And we can always post! Take care. (((HUGS)))

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

happilyretiredgirl — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 02:44:27 GMT

January is a tough month for me too, my deceased brother in law birthday was the 13th, my sister was the 20th, my brother's was the 23rd. My best friend who suffers from Alzheimer's birthday was the 18th and she no longer knows who I am. We have been best friends for over 40 years and met each other at work. It's a sad month for me.

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

DSD2 — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 02:49:13 GMT

Some wounds are more grievous than others and take more time to heal.

My deepest condolence for your painful losses. I'm sure your mother and brother are keeping watch over you. May your pain lessen a bit each year and may you have God's grace to remember the joyous times spent together.

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

Goodie2shoes — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 02:52:42 GMT

@ Jordan2 I understand it's tough when birthdays and anniversaries of the death of loved ones comes around but be encouraged that you loved them and were able to spend time with them when they were here and that they are now resting in peace with no more troubles to encounter on this earth. I lost my mom to Covid in 2020 as I have mentioned here before and when her birthday comes I visit her grave and place flowers and tell her how much I love her. She heres me and knows that I love her and know she is in a better place with no more pain and suffering. God Bless you and your family and to God be the glory !

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

gidgetgh — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 03:13:30 GMT

@Greeneyedlady21 wrote:
Yes the birthdays and anniversaries are so painful, allow yourself to grieve in whatever ways you want to.

@Greeneyedlady21 - exactly. Great post.

I just let those anniversary days be whatever they need to be. I don't try to force anything or make it be a certain way. Grieving is a process that never ends and what works for me on those days is just let them be what they need to be. Sometimes they are are surprisingly ok. And then, sometimes not.

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

BlueFinch — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 03:31:21 GMT

Losing someone we loved leaves a deep wound. No one else can see it, and feel it, except the person grieving their loss.

After a time, which is different for everyone, the wound begins to scar -- to toughen up, with more acceptance. But, triggers will always remain.

I try to turn my triggers into more celebratory moments now, just being grateful for the time I was blessed with those I've lost. But, they took a chunk of my heart with them when they departed, so it's not easy.

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

meallen616 — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 10:23:48 GMT

January is a tough month for me also. The 25th was my Mom's death,10 years ago, the 31st my brother's death, 28 years ago, and, my Dad's birthday was on the 16th, he has been gone since 1987. I miss them all so very much...

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

amyb — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 10:12:51 GMT

{{{❤️}}}

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

SouthernBee — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 11:06:08 GMT

@Jordan2 : So many difficult days. Everyone grieves differently and struggle to deal with this. Try to focus on the positive and good memories.

I have one suggestion: On each day, honor the special family member. If I start crying: I set an alarm clock for 15 minutes and pour my heart out. I then clean my self up. I then find a friend, neighbor or relative and do something for them ( you probably know something they need help with or a special treat). 🙏🙏🙏🤗🤗❤❤

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

Jordan2 — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 11:56:46 GMT

Thank you everyone for your kindness. It seems January is a cruel month for many of us.

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

gardenman — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 13:52:45 GMT

I think it's hardest when the deaths are clustered like that. My brother died on December 28th, my dad on December 30th and my mom on January the fifth. I joke that it's the eight days of death in our family and that if I make it to January sixth I'm safe for another year. It's odd how deaths in a family sometimes get clustered together like that. It does make that stretch of days tough to go through each year though.

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

goldensrbest — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 14:04:24 GMT

I have found that some of our loses just stay with us forever, i lost my oldest son in 1998 ,i still have heartache, tears over him,my husband died in 2013, the same goes for him.

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

LindaSal — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 14:12:30 GMT

So true @goldensrbest , we never get over the losses, we just learn to live with it

Re: Tough Several Upcoming Days

QFashion — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 16:56:26 GMT

@Jordan2...and everyone here feeling losses of dear, loved ones. Please be kind and gentle with yourself. Grief is with us no matter how long it's been. Cry, get sad, get angry but remember the joy you shared when they were with us, don't cover up your grief. Just know the love you have and those souls are always with you 💓.