topic Re: Family or Pets? in Community Chat

Family or Pets?

timeless — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 01:26:17 GMT

My child is horribly afraid of dogs. He's had this problem for years and it's regardless of what type of dog or whose dog it is. He refuses to go near them.

Going out in public where dogs are allowed, he steers clear of them...WIDELY.

My question to you is this: If you were hosting a family get-together where you hardly ever see someone who is afraid of a pet, would you find a place for your pet to hang out so your family member can come to visit you on a holiday?

Or would you not ask them to come?

Even if all other family was coming?

Re: Family or Pets?

tansy — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 01:30:52 GMT

This seems like a loaded question. I would confine my dog for a few hours. The child needs help to manage and hopefully overcome his fear of dogs though.

Re: Family or Pets?

timeless — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 01:33:45 GMT

I agree he needs some help.

But even so...it's hurtful that my family won't confine their dogs for a short time.

He's autistic, so maybe a psych doctor will have ideas on this!

Re: Family or Pets?

Kachina624 — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 01:43:41 GMT

@tansy wrote:
This seems like a loaded question. I would confine my dog for a few hours. The child needs help to manage and hopefully overcome his fear of dogs though.

@tansy. I have a feeling the son may not be a child.
@timeless. How old is your son?

Re: Family or Pets?

Mindy D — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 01:59:35 GMT

I'd definitely find a place for my pet to hang out during the get together. I would never exclude a family member like that. The dog can be perfectly happy by himself for a few hours.

Re: Family or Pets?

BoopOMatic — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 02:06:03 GMT

If I could find a place where my pet would be comfortable, then I would do it.

Re: Family or Pets?

chrystaltree — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 02:15:27 GMT

If I had a place in my house where I could put the dog while my guests were present. I'd put the dog there with his good, water, toys. If I didn't have such a place or if the dog would object and cause a ruckus; I'd be forced to choose my dog over my family member. I see no other options. I had this issue with my cat years ago. I had two family members who had cat phobias. I remember one asked if I could put the car in the basement during a party. I refused. That would have been to upsetting for my cat. We never locked her up and she was actually quiet good around people. A few extended family members had a problem with it.

Re: Family or Pets?

Sooner — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 02:18:47 GMT

@timeless wrote:
My child is horribly afraid of dogs. He's had this problem for years and it's regardless of what type of dog or whose dog it is. He refuses to go near them.
Going out in public where dogs are allowed, he steers clear of them...WIDELY.

My question to you is this: If you were hosting a family get-together where you hardly ever see someone who is afraid of a pet, would you find a place for your pet to hang out so your family member can come to visit you on a holiday?

Or would you not ask them to come?

Even if all other family was coming?

@timeless There isn't a right or wrong answer for this. The issue is someone can't do what they want. It is an issue that perhaps has no answer. So my answer is don't look at what should be, look at the situation and decide what YOU will do.

Other than that let it go. Not worth a world of hurt feelings and confrontation, anger and resentment.

Re: Family or Pets?

ThinkingOutLoud — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 02:20:19 GMT

People over animals always. Period.

Re: Family or Pets?

BlueFinch — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 02:24:22 GMT

Well, being autistic, depending on where on the spectrum, he may never grow to be comfortable with dogs. If so, it would probably take some slow, skilled introductions. So, yes, I would confine my dog, if it was just for a day visit.

Re: Family or Pets?

ThinkingOutLoud — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 02:28:43 GMT

@timeless

Everything is energy so to help your son, find someone who does the EmotionCode and/or BodyCode who can clear that negative energy so this isn't an issue any more. Merry Christmas!

Re: Family or Pets?

Kachina624 — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 02:34:37 GMT

@BlueFinch wrote:
Well, being autistic, depending on where on the spectrum, he may never grow to be comfortable with dogs. If so, it would probably take some slow, skilled introductions. So, yes, I would confine my dog, if it was just for a day visit.

@BlueFinch. I don't see any mention of autism. Ive had friends with unreasonable fears of dogs or cats because of an experience they had with them.

Re: Family or Pets?

Sage04 — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 02:35:09 GMT

@timeless no way would I put my child through that. If you are invited and nothing could be done about the dog, I would stay home. And I would make sure they know why. If you don't look out for him, who would?

Re: Family or Pets?

mormel20 — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 02:40:53 GMT

I think a person has a right to say what will and will not happen in their own home. For example, people are not allowed to smoke in my home. I don't care if you are family, friend or who. Because it is my home and I set the rules. Would'nt it be the same for a pet? Their home, their rules.

Re: Family or Pets?

ThinkingOutLoud — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 02:55:10 GMT

@Kachina624 wrote:

@BlueFinch wrote:
Well, being autistic, depending on where on the spectrum, he may never grow to be comfortable with dogs. If so, it would probably take some slow, skilled introductions. So, yes, I would confine my dog, if it was just for a day visit.
@BlueFinch. I don't see any mention of autism. Ive had friends with unreasonable fears of dogs or cats because of an experience they had with them.

See post #3

Re: Family or Pets?

ThinkingOutLoud — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 02:58:43 GMT

@mormel20 wrote:
I think a person has a right to say what will and will not happen in their own home. For example, people are not allowed to smoke in my home. I don't care if you are family, friend or who. Because it is my home and I set the rules. Would'nt it be the same for a pet? Their home, their rules.

No. Apples and oranges.

A pet can be put somewhere else for a while in order to be a gracious host.

Re: Family or Pets?

nikkisaunt1 — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 04:04:11 GMT

I think if you are asking for the pet to be confined to another room for a couple of hours that is probably easily doable, but most of the time the visit is longer and really becomes something not so easy for either side to accommodate. The dog will need to go out, may start barking or crying, etc. especially if it is not used to being confined. I would suggest that either your visit be short, or you invite family to your home sans dog at a different time.

Re: Family or Pets?

mrshckynut — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 04:36:56 GMT

I would wonder if they got help for their child

mrshckynut

Re: Family or Pets?

JeanLouiseFinch — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 07:10:56 GMT

I believe a considerate host should do what they can to accommodate their guests in all areas, including pets being present. I also believe that a house full of people could be stressful to a pet. I am nuts about my dog but an animal should not take precedence over human relationships, especially when the human interactions are few and far between with certain people. The dog will be fine elsewhere and cats usually find a place to hide anyway until it's safe to resurface. If it's going to be a problem for a guest, the family dog should be confined to a area of of the home where they will be provided with whatever supplies they need and hang out there for a few hours. The homeowner can still check on them, take them out, etc.. If that's not possible, then boarding is the next option. When our niece hosted our extended family at her home she boarded her dogs so as to not risk any kind of problems between the pets and young children.

Re: Family or Pets?

Pook — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 08:18:18 GMT

I would invite everyone but my dog is family and each person invited needs to make their own decision as to whether they will go! Possibly OP could host a family event at another time like Easter or the 4th of July. In the meantime the child should be and should have been going to get help for this issue.