topic Re: Please Keep the prayers coming ! in Community Chat

Please Keep the prayers coming !

Goodie2shoes — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 03:09:33 GMT

Several Weeks ago I asked for prayers because my 45 yo daughter voluntarily entered rehab for issues with alchohol. It didn't go very well unfortunately. She was out of state at a facility that she was told would be like a retreat where she could get away from the stressors causing her problem but would also provide her with therapy. She flew there by herself but only lasted 4 days of several weeks planned

All of her personal belongings were taken including her phone, she was given meds and exposed to drug addicts including people coming off fentanyl and cocaine. They were not given towels and it just wasn't what she and her husband were told by the salesperson they spoke with over the phone. They would not let her call her husband or myself and when they finally let her call it was only for a few minutes. She was taken to a hospital because her blood pressure went up due to the treatment she received. Her therapist finally called me after numerous calls I made and apologized for not returning my calls telling me she only saw my daughter one time of the 4 days she was there. She had no specific plan she could give me.

My daughter has found a outpatient virtual therapy program and she is starting it very soon, please keep her in your prayers. She has had difficulty sleeping because she keeps having nightmares about the facility and it's causing her anxiety to remain high. She's now taking medication to help her relax.

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

Linmo — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 03:22:06 GMT

@Goodie2shoes I'll keep her in my prayers. Has she looked into a PHP program? It is not a residential rehab, but patients spend time participating in in-person therapy at a hospital or facility during the day and then return home at night. My daughter had success with it.

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

Etoile308 — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 03:45:53 GMT

@Goodie2shoes, I do pray she recovers.

But I will say this, and you may not like what I post. I would be surprised if she wasn't made aware going in that her possessions would be taken, and she wouldn't be permitted outside contact, usually for a week and then very limited. I may be mistaken, but I think it sounds like she was looking for reasons not to want to be there.

I'm sure her therapist was following HIPPA guidelines and was limited in what could be said to you.

I'm sure you know that treatment won't take unless and until you want it to take. For some that means several attempts at a 30 day inpatient treatment. My opinion, out patient is too easy to walk away from and not commit. Virtual outpatient? That doesn't fill me with hope.

And don't forget, addicts lie. All the time. Even when they don't have to. They lie.

It doesn't sound like she lives near you, but there certainly should be somewhere closer to home where she can get treatment. Her local Health Dept, even hospital, insurance provider, or PCP should have suggestions.

I'm also sending prayer your way. I imagine this is tearing you up inside. Have you ever thought of attending Al-Anon

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

Carmie — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 03:57:22 GMT

Many years ago, I used to go once a month to cut hair at a drug and alcohol rehab facility.

The conditions you are describing, is the standard procedure.

You are not allowed any contact with anyone while you are there for the first few weeks. When I worked there, many patients would ask me if I could get them drugs or alcohol. They are always searching and " need" their poison.

Only there for four days? Hardly enough time for detox.

That is why there is no contact allowed. Patients also call their loved ones to come and get them. Of course, they don't like being there.

Outpatient is not as intense and has a higher relapse rate. I will pray for your daughter. Her journey will be difficult and painful. She has to want help and plow her way through it.

Drug addicts are the same as alcohol addicts. They are exposed to each other in rehab. An addict is an addict.

They all have hundreds of excuses. You might want to attend Al-Anon or another program for families of addicts. It will help you to help her.

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

Snowpuppy — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 04:44:53 GMT

AA has the most successful recovery program in the world. It's free. When she gets serious about sobriety, she'll go.

72 hours is detox, she left the day after. Her spouse is likely a drinker and enabler. She may need to go inpatient to be monitored by medical staff if she's in bad shape.

She's not suffering from anxiety, she was withdrawing from alcohol, maybe for the first time in years. She will have to find ways to cope with life without booze.

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

Linmo — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 04:47:06 GMT

OP just wants prayers, not criticism for her daughter's choices. We have no way to know what her daughter's experience was at rehab or if her daughter is lying.

My own experience is that my daughter went to rehab unwillingly, wanted to leave after 2 days, but we convinced her to stay for the month. After she left, she made negative comments about the facility. She was reusing within a couple of days of leaving rehab.

She started a PHP program at a local hospital, found a good therapist and a year later is sober. I hope that @Goodie2shoes 's daughter will also find her way back.

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

elated — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 05:07:11 GMT

I do hope your daughter is able to find a place that works for her..I don't know how long she has been an alcoholic but the addiction is hard to recover. Many have to hit bottom before their recovery can begin. It takes a strong will and determination to remain sober.

Has she tried AA with having a sponsor? I don't know much about treatment facilities for recovery. Many have to go over and over again to finally remain sober. You have to get to the reason someone is seeking their answers in a bottle. Maybe a good psychiatrist who deals with alcoholism could help. So many variables in getting and remaining sober.

She has a long and hard road to travel. Alcoholics have lied to themselves for so long that the truth is hard to find. I think withdrawal is even harder.. I think in the end it is up to the alcoholic to determine their future. Take care and wishing you well.

Just remember family can only do so much. The old saying you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink (don't take this literally).

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

Sassycoco — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 05:07:23 GMT

@Goodie2shoes

I have personally admitted myself ,due to my mental health issues.

I can tell you honestly, it's no country club.
You're not allowed your cell phone , you're around a lot of people that unfortunately self medicate . Which with all do respect your daughter was doing with alcohol.

Please, be realistic. You go there for help ,some their families admit them ,because they could possibly be a danger to themselves.

It's NOT EASY , you are around people who make you realize, how SANE you actually are .
I willingly, stayed for 12 days .I didn't have a drug or alcohol problem.
I'm telling you this because I care ! I was around a lot of the same things your daughter was.and worse !
Everyone is different, do you believe she gave it a fair chance ? Seeing other people ,who were far worse off than myself. Made me realize, that could possibly be me someday !
You get out of it ,what you put into it .
I'm NO Dr ....but I can say ,I've struggled with my mental illness for a long time...mostly because of shame and not wanting to deal with the real issues.

Absolutely, it's hard !.what happens when alcohol doesn't help anymore?
It's a wake up call , obviously she's not ready for .
I don't mean to sound insensitive or mean ...at all !
I will keep your daughter and family in my prayers 🙏 ❤️

I'm putting myself out there, because I know the struggles ! If anything I hope you know I'm sincere and trying to possibly make you understand....💜

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

Linmo — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 05:19:25 GMT

@Sassycoco Thanks for sharing! I hope that you've found the right help for what you are struggling with.

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

elated — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 05:29:34 GMT

@Sassycoco wrote:
@Goodie2shoes

I have personally admitted myself ,due to my mental health issues.

I can tell you honestly, it's no country club.
You're not allowed your cell phone , you're around a lot of people that unfortunately self medicate . Which with all do respect your daughter was doing with alcohol.

Please, be realistic. You go there for help ,some their families admit them ,because they could possibly be a danger to themselves.

It's NOT EASY , you are around people who make you realize, how SANE you actually are .
I willingly, stayed for 12 days .I didn't have a drug or alcohol problem.
I'm telling you this because I care ! I was around a lot of the same things your daughter was.and worse !
Everyone is different, do you believe she gave it a fair chance ? Seeing other people ,who were far worse off than myself. Made me realize, that could possibly be me someday !
You get out of it ,what you put into it .
I'm NO Dr ....but I can say ,I've struggled with my mental illness for a long time...mostly because of shame and not wanting to deal with the real issues.

Absolutely, it's hard !.what happens when alcohol doesn't help anymore?
It's a wake up call , obviously she's not ready for .
I don't mean to sound insensitive or mean ...at all !
I will keep your daughter and family in my prayers 🙏 ❤️

I'm putting myself out there, because I know the struggles ! If anything I hope you know I'm sincere and trying to possibly make you understand....💜

I do hope you are doing well. Life is hard and sometimes we need help to get through it. Take care.

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

beach-mom — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 05:43:31 GMT

@Goodie2shoes - I prayed before, and I will keep praying. I hope this outpatient program is what she needs and what gives her comfort.

I recently heard about a similar case where drugs were pushed more than the actual counseling. It sounds like that first place was definitely not the right place for her.

But this one will be. We will all pray and that will make a difference.

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

phoenixbrd — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 06:20:55 GMT

My prayers are for the family as well as the alcoholic/drug addict. These problems are a family issue. I'm hoping that several of the suggestions will be considered even if it might not be what you want to hear...it was said in kindness and reality.

Alanon is free and would be able to offer support to all family members. And, of course, prayers are ongoing. Much love and hope for wellness and peace for all concerned 💓

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

lynnie61 — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 08:44:34 GMT

@Goodie2shoes @Linmo

Offering prayers for comfort and strength. Please know many here will be praying. It's so much on families. Take care.

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

wifey2qt — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 09:14:11 GMT

@Goodie2shoes - One day at a time....one step at a time.....one moment at a time...... this is a lifelong battle, please try to focus on how your daughter is today, not yesterday and not tomorrow, only today. Best of luck to your daughter and family!

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

Lilysmom1 — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 10:39:45 GMT

@Goodie2shoes My prayers are with you and your family.

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

CalminHeart — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 11:19:01 GMT

@Goodie2shoes wrote:

Your daughter sounds like most addicts who enter treatment centers. They don't like it because they have to face their addiction. They see what it's doing to others and realize what it's doing to them.

This was an addition facility. Did she think she'd be the only addict there? Of course there are other addicts there!

What the facility did in taking away her phone, etc is perfectly normal. They need to focus on getting better, not their phone and other things.

She's 45. You had no business calling the facility.

Your daughter is looking for someone to enable her. I think she found it in you and possibly her husband.

Tough love isn't easy....it's harder on the person who loves the addict than the addict. But it's a necessary thing when dealing with an addict.

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

meallen616 — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 11:56:51 GMT

@Goodie2shoes,

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

Rockycoast — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 12:32:01 GMT

Sending prayers for your daughter to find the help she needs. My dad was an alcoholic and a mean one at that. Your daughter is looking for the help she needs, my dad never did. Hoping she does well this time.

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

FLgardener — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 14:39:55 GMT

@Goodie2shoes , I'm praying that your daughter is praying for guidance and the strength to follow that guidance with all the hard work that is required of her.

Re: Please Keep the prayers coming !

Lucky Charm — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 14:51:34 GMT

I hope that she able to overcome this. This has got to be hard for you as her mother and I'm sure it's hard on everyone who loves her and sees her being tormented by this disease.