topic Re: What To Gift At A Wedding in Community Chat

What To Gift At A Wedding

Jordan2 — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:22:10 GMT

I have always given a check as a gift to the couple. I was talking to some people as to what you give these days as a single person or couple attending a wedding. It is kind of customary to cover the cost of the meal, I suppose it depends on what part of the country you come from as to how much you give. I go to weddings in NYC, Long Island, and New Jersey. I think as a single person I would give $200-$250, as a couple $500. What are your thoughts on this?

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

ninjawife — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:29:27 GMT

Yes I guess your location may dictate how much you spend. I don't think of my gift as reimbursement for my meal so my gift would be the same if I were single or a couple. I usually base the amount on how close I am to the bride and groom. There is no way I would give any couple 500 dollars.

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

deepwaterdotter — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:27:52 GMT

I don't think I could afford to attend a wedding in New York. The couple probably wouldn't invite me knowing my budget was so limited. After $100, I'm out of my league.

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

teganslaw — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:28:35 GMT

I don't believe in guests covering the cost of a meal. Whoever started the idea was greedy; and I don't think any etiquette requires this.

As far as monetary gifts, that depends on how close you are to the couple and your financial situation. I don' think there is any right or wrong, it's what you can afford and feel comfrobable giving. It's a personal choice.

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

Kachina624 — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:31:42 GMT

@Jordan2. Customs vary in different parts of the country and depend on your relationship to the wedding couple but the amounts you mention would be excessive where I live unless one of the couple is a close relative.

I won't be going to any weddings on Long Island, NYC, ETC.

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

ManyMeows — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:35:09 GMT

🍹🍸🍷🍾 $250 - $500

That must have been one helluva' meal!

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

on the bay — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:36:41 GMT

@Jordan2 ,

I've never heard of covering the cost of the meal at a wedding except for here on these forums. I don't think weddings were ever supposed to be that way.

The amounts you mention are more than I would ever imagine giving unless you are wealthy and very close to the couple.

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

spumoni99 — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:37:05 GMT

I usually base it on how close I am to the people and although I don't think people have to cover their meal etc that does enter my mind if its an expensive venue I don't think it should be expected. I would also look at their registry to see what they want.

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

proudlyfromNJ — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:39:22 GMT

Give a gift from their registry or fifty dollars. Depends on what is the custom in your part of the country.

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

DSD2 — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:39:40 GMT

I think it all depends on your relationship and your financial situation.

I think $200 is a very generous gift as a single person as is $500 from a couple. I would be thrilled to receive either!

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

beckyb1012 — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:41:14 GMT

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:
Give a gift from their registry or fifty dollars. Depends on what is the custom in your part of the country.

That is exactly what I have always done, the registry if there is one and if not $50.00 max.

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

kaydee50 — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:41:31 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
I have always given a check as a gift to the couple. I was talking to some people as to what you give these days as a single person or couple attending a wedding. It is kind of customary to cover the cost of the meal, I suppose it depends on what part of the country you come from as to how much you give. I go to weddings in NYC, Long Island, and New Jersey. I think as a single person I would give $200-$250, as a couple $500. What are your thoughts on this?

I think that's generous. Basically, I would give what I could afford comfortably. DH and I would only give that much if it were a close friend or relative. How much the wedding is costing is not my concern.

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

Chessa35 — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:45:17 GMT

It depends on :

#1: How well do you know the couple

#2: How close are you to them

#3: You give what you can afford ! Who cares what you are expected to give .

#4: Paying for your own meal is ridiculous , classless and tacky .

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

Boehm Collector — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:49:35 GMT

@Jordan2 .. I would never give a gift of $500.00. My DH & I live in NJ. We would probably give $200 - $250.00 depending on our relationship with the couple. But if any of my nieces were to get married. I would probably give more than $250.00.

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

ManyMeows — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:51:17 GMT

🙄😏 When one RSVP's, and they included a check to cover the cost of food and alcohol consumption, along with a reasonable gratuity, are they still expected to bring a gift?

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

proudlyfromNJ — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 20:52:45 GMT

@ManyMeows wrote:
🙄😏 When one RSVP's, and they included a check to cover the cost of food and alcohol consumption, along with a reasonable gratuity, are they still expected to bring a gift?

@ManyMeows The check is the gift.

Re: What To Gift At A buffet

mac116 — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 21:04:25 GMT

It is customary where I live to cover the cost of a meal in an equivalent restaurant...buffet is certainly different than a sit down served meal. That is ONLY if you are close to the couple or their parents (otherwise you really wouldn't know any details). That was the case when my sons were married 20+ years ago. It wasn't about greed.

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

Sage04 — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 21:06:38 GMT

I've never heard anything like that until I started Posting here. Pay for your meal? How does anyone know what the meal costs?

No wonder the Bride and Groom expect help paying for their honeymoon.

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

Jessie913 — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 21:17:27 GMT

Well, Im from NY and yes it was always customary to cover your plate. Today might be a little different due to the ecomomy. (who knows? BUT I would NOT be giving only a $50. gift!! People here give that and more for a shower) My daughter is getting married at a very nice venue and it is costing 175 pp (228 total with tax and tip included.) guests are recieving an elaborate cocktail hour with 3 food stations, 4 course sit down dinner (4 entree choices) italian pastries on the table in addition to wedding cake. Fun farewell snack to take on the go. Theres even an after party! And lets not forget IT'S 5 hours of top shelf OPEN BAR! I think it is well worth the price!!

Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

scatcat — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 21:11:05 GMT

Years ago one of my friends got married in rural MO. She said "a family of 4 will bring a piece of Tupperware as a gift".