topic For All Dealing With Relatives in Community Chat

For All Dealing With Relatives

Sooner — Sat, 15 Jul 2023 20:26:50 GMT

If you are dealing with relatives today, have bad relations, have a hurt heart, have a hard time holding your tongue--you are in my thoughts and prayers.

I send you peace and good wishes and know that you are not alone! Just hold that thought, have faith, do as best you can and carry on!

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

GingerHead — Sat, 15 Jul 2023 20:35:38 GMT

Lovely, thank you for that.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

meallen616 — Sat, 15 Jul 2023 20:38:45 GMT

@Sooner,

Well said, thank you!

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

Tinkrbl44 — Sat, 15 Jul 2023 22:35:56 GMT

@Sooner wrote:
If you are dealing with relatives today, have bad relations, have a hurt heart, have a hard time holding your tongue--you are in my thoughts and prayers.

I send you peace and good wishes and know that you are not alone! Just hold that thought, have faith, do as best you can and carry on!

@Sooner

Your post reminds me of the saying "You can pick your family, but you can't pick your relatives".

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

Venezia — Sat, 15 Jul 2023 22:08:11 GMT

Where I grew up the saying was always "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your relatives!"

How true.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

Desertdi — Sat, 15 Jul 2023 22:58:14 GMT

@Sooner Bless you di

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

ECBG — Sat, 15 Jul 2023 23:04:38 GMT

@Sooner

Thank you for your kind words.

Almost 20 years ago, it dawned on me I could actually chose to close the door and have peace in my life-or not. My choice was peace. No more poison in my life.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

drizzellla — Sat, 15 Jul 2023 23:17:38 GMT

@Sooner Did you have a family reunion today?

I have a few weeks before a family reunion. And yes, I will hold my tongue. In fact I try not to speak.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

Sooner — Sat, 15 Jul 2023 23:25:10 GMT

@drizzellla wrote:
@Sooner Did you have a family reunion today?

I have a few weeks before a family reunion. And yes, I will hold my tongue. In fact I try not to speak.

@drizzellla Now that is funny! No, I don't but I have friends who do and have heard. . . uh. . . stories! Which is part prompted me to post this. SO, I think many at this year can join in wishing all of us peace and patience.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

Sooner — Sat, 15 Jul 2023 23:26:13 GMT

@ECBG wrote:
@Sooner

Thank you for your kind words.
Almost 20 years ago, it dawned on me I could actually chose to close the door and have peace in my life-or not. My choice was peace. No more poison in my life.

@ECBG Wise words. You do what you can do and you do what you have to do sometimes.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

deepwaterdotter — Sat, 15 Jul 2023 23:27:27 GMT

Reading this thread makes me thankful for my family members. They are helpful, understanding, and display mature behavior.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

RetRN — Sat, 15 Jul 2023 23:36:55 GMT

Interesting and insightful thread. I think every family has a certain amount of drama in it. I've never known anyone who has spoken highly of their entire family.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

Carmie — Sun, 16 Jul 2023 02:08:08 GMT

@Venezia wrote:
Where I grew up the saying was always "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your relatives!"

How true.

Most people do pick their some of their relatives and many make bad choices.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

qualitygal — Sun, 16 Jul 2023 09:49:24 GMT

@ECBG wrote:
@Sooner

Thank you for your kind words.
Almost 20 years ago, it dawned on me I could actually chose to close the door and have peace in my life-or not. My choice was peace. No more poison in my life.

Along that same vein, it was so peaceful, when I just got up and left the room. Real easy. Highly suggest that.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

ninjawife — Sun, 16 Jul 2023 10:51:05 GMT

My parents died in 2012 and 2016. Since they passed I have had little contact with either side of my family. I reach out but I get little back from them. I am an only child and the only person I have any relationship with is my mother's younger sister and her daughter. That's ok by me b/c there is a lot of cray-cray in my family.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

AngelPuppy1 — Sun, 16 Jul 2023 11:20:19 GMT

You can avoid a lot of people but it's a lot harder to avoid family.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

songbird — Sun, 16 Jul 2023 12:26:15 GMT

My husband dislikes my sister and my sister in law. He alwasy grumbles when I go to New York with them. They're polite to each other, but he avoids them. I'm close to my sister, so it's a thorn on my side too. When I get invited to dinner there, he doesn't go.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

cindyNC — Sun, 16 Jul 2023 14:54:45 GMT

Interesting discussion. Have a friend who had a huge blowout with her brother. They might be on the mend.

Our last phone call, I asked her if she would go to his funeral if he passed. She said yes as she is still close to her neices.

My BF has a brother that he has no contact with due to lots of complications w/the SIL. His cousins have no contact w/their brother. I have no contact w/my sister. These choices are after years of conflict and mental health issues.

When BF's father died, his mother wondered why his sister came to the funeral as she never spoke to him.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

jubilant — Mon, 17 Jul 2023 13:29:27 GMT

I have found that it is possible to keep your love for the difficult person but important to limit your exposure to them. I have a son I have not seen or spoken to in 6 years. It has probably been the most painful experience of my life....but it has taught me much.

Trying to mend things with difficult people who won't reconcile is impossible. It does nothing but bring even more pain into our lives. You can't reconcile when there is nothing to reconcile with. It takes two.

I love my son dearly and always will. I know in my heart that I did everything possible to keep the relationship going. There comes a time, however, when you say..."enough is enough" and let peace come back into your life. What's that old saying...."peace, at any price, is not peace".

While my faith requires me to do my best, I can't change another person. What I found I can do (with God's help), is retain that peace in my life.

Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

Sooner — Mon, 17 Jul 2023 18:02:52 GMT

@jubilant wrote:
I have found that it is possible to keep your love for the difficult person but important to limit your exposure to them. I have a son I have not seen or spoken to in 6 years. It has probably been the most painful experience of my life....but it has taught me much.

Trying to mend things with difficult people who won't reconcile is impossible. It does nothing but bring even more pain into our lives. You can't reconcile when there is nothing to reconcile with. It takes two.

I love my son dearly and always will. I know in my heart that I did everything possible to keep the relationship going. There comes a time, however, when you say..."enough is enough" and let peace come back into your life. What's that old saying...."peace, at any price, is not peace".

While my faith requires me to do my best, I can't change another person. What I found I can do (with God's help), is retain that peace in my life.

@jubilant I understand exactly what you are talking about. It's like I read never argue with a narcissist because you'll never win.

And there are things you can't control or change and you deal as best you can, and a prayer and a willing spirit.